You're Too Stressed If ...

  1. Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you
    and suggest that you should get some rest.

  2. You can achieve a “Runners High” by sitting up.

  3. You say the same sentence over and over again, not
    realizing that you have said it before.

  4. The Sun is too loud.

  5. Trees begin chasing you.

  6. You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

  7. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up
    an I.V. drip solution of espresso.

  8. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step
    for the consumption of coffee.

  9. You can hear mimes.

  10. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

  11. Things become “Very Clear”.

  12. You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

  13. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.

  14. You begin speaking in a language that only you and
    Channelers can understand.

  15. You say the same sentence over and over again, not
    realizing that you have said it before.

  16. You keep yelling “STOP TOUCHING ME!!!” even though
    you are the only one in the room.

  17. Your heart beats in 7/8 time.

  18. Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.

  19. You and Reality file for divorce.

  20. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
    (although, if you go to mit, this is not out of the ordinary)

  21. You have great revelations concerning:
    Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can’t
    quite find the words for them before the white glow
    disappears, leaving you more confused than before.

  22. You can travel without moving.

  23. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

  24. You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.

  25. You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject,
    get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to
    yourself for the rest of the night.

  26. Teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.

  27. You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the
    people you are talking to.

  28. You say the same sentence over and over again, not
    realizing that you have said it before…

  29. You call your voicemail from your car using your cell-phone while driving to work to remind yourself of tasks to do during the day.

  30. You page yourself because when its set to vibrate, its “almost” like getting a massage.
    *Thanks and a nod to whoever the orginator of the material is, it surely wasn’t the person who sent me the email. I just thought the regs here might enjoy coming up with a few more for the list. Here is my contribution: *

  31. You tap your foot impatiently at the amount of time it takes to listen to your meditation and relaxation tapes.

Um, oops. I emailed a mod to fix the gaff. My sincere apologies.


  1. You know you’re to stressed when you think you’re posting to one board and actually post to another.
  1. You call your voicemail from your car using your cell-phone while driving to work to remind yourself of tasks to do during the day.

I do this all the time as well as send myself emails from home to work or vice versa so I don’t forget appointments etc.

  1. You go out of the house during the morning. You’ve got a spring in your step, you need exactly two things before you can start baking. An hour and a half later you return, having spent $ 177.03. You put all of the groceries away. And realize that you do not have what you need to bake.

  2. You walk from one room to another, and stop- unaware of why you are in that room.

  3. You realize how hard it is to focus on shaving, and leave half your face untouched.

  4. You cannot remember if you washed your hair while in the shower. ( I’ve not only done this, but I’ve stepped out of the shower with a head full of shampoo :rolleyes: )

  5. You get into the car, and cannot remember what to do next. (This happened to me once too, but it wasn’t funny- I was scared for hours).

  6. You call your kid by the cat’s name.

  7. You call the cat by your kid’s name.

  8. You call your spouse by someone else’s name. ( Frequently the cause of even GREATER stress ).

Cartooniverse: My SO’s mother mixes up her husband and son’s names all the time. Helllooo, Mr Oedipus…
38: Little teeny tiny people go hiking in the deep rift valley of your frown lines.

39: The tension in your shoulders is greater than in the Millenium Bridge.

So it’s not enough I had to visualize CartooniSmurf, now I get this mental image of you half-shaved, covered in shampoo, wandering aimlessly thru the house. I’d snicker mercilessly, but I’m frequently asking my daughter “Why did I come in here?” or “What was I going to do?”

  1. You have dreams about work and they’re just as bad as being in the office.

  2. Your dogs look at you sympathetically.

  1. When you’re driving your regular path home, you suddenly can’t remember where you are.

  2. You and a coworker, discussing the absolute mongrel bastard of a day you just had, give up using words and just start barking like dogs. When someone asks what the noise is, you deny having heard anything.

  3. You start to laugh at unfunny things. Laugh really hard. Until you can’t stand up.

  4. You start making and drinking suicide coffee (nine or ten spoonfuls of coffee crystals, a little sugar, half hot water, then cold water to cool it down to the point where you can just slug it back) and can’t get down off the ceiling

  5. People are talking to you in plain and simple English and you just stare at them, because they might as well be speaking Esperanto; it just isn’t translating.
    sigh Done 'em all.

47.) You wake up from a long restful night of grinding your teeth.
48.)Your entire diet consists of caffeine and nicotine.
49.)During a frenzied cleaning spat, you vacuum up several of your cats.
50.)A day when only two of your nervous twitrhes are in constant evidence is a good day.

  1. You answer the phone, “Texas name changed to protect the not so innocent company” when you are at your mother’s house.
  1. You actually break out in hives.

Sadly, this happened to me about 3 weeks ago. I took a day off from all 4 of my jobs to finish up my 20 page term paper that was due. I feel much better now…

  1. You hear yourself thinking “Stop being so damn nice!” towards people.

God help me, a hotel full of Pentecostal women, I’m gonna get fired tonight, I know it…

Corollary: Someone starts talking to you in English, and it takes you a couple of seconds to realize they aren’t talking (insert your second language here). [sub]My friends and I are all used to this…[/sub]

  1. You literally bounce off the (concrete) walls… Cough cough[sub]Dragon Shadow[/sub]cough

P.S. Cartooniverse, my mom does that constantly. My family has learned to respond to each other’s name, which makes family gatherings rather interesting…