You're Un-vited to our Wedding, future sister-in-law! And, please, no gifts...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

…because I’m sure they’d be stolen.

Thursday, I got a rather disturbing phone call from my mother regarding a private investigator. They first asked about my whereabouts, and if I was living with a certain individual (my fiancee). They then asked if my fiancee had a job, then if I had a job. Mom, not knowing what to think, simply complied, giving them all the info they needed (which was okay, because I would have wanted to settle the whole thing right away).

My first thought was about my fiancee’s ex, the grudge-holding psycho who tried to squeeze five grand out of her last november. I have nothing more to say about that, because it wasn’t him, thank god. I have since apologized to him.

It was my fiancee’s wonderful sister. She recently bought a brand new 2003 PT Cruiser. She’s only 20, has (or had) a lousy, low-paying job, and no responsibility whatsoever. She put an astounding $300 down on the car, and subsequent payments would be about $480 a month. Needless to say, she hasn’t made a single payment, and the repo men are after her.

Problem is, though, they can’t find her. Last month, she abruptly quit her job, and moved away with her (insert Original jarbaby Insult™ here) boyfriend.

And here’s where the PI comes in. Turns out that Future SIL used my fiancee’s social security number on her application to buy the car. The dealers who gave her the loan are after my fiancee and her sweet and loving sister. We finally found out about this today, and everything is in the process of being cleared up. While we’re relieved that the heat is off us now, my fiancee is finally going to sever ties with her sister. She been pulling this crap all her life, and even though it’s no big surprise, it’s still infuriating.

2

Co-signing for family is such a dangerous thing. I hope his credit isn’t too inversly affected.

At least the fiance will boot her out of his life until she grows up a bit. But be warned, it’s family. At some point she may be allowed back in. Bite your tongue a bit if you really want to tell people what you think of her. It might come back to haunt you.

3

Fiancee (sorry, just clearing things up, I’m Rob, fiancee is Jennifer).

Anyway, future sister-in-law never cosigned. And if she had, it would have been with her mother (who also has a history of bad credit). But she used Jen’s SSN as her own, hence, the fraud.

And yes, I know it’s family and all that, but she’d been doing this kind of stuff all her life, and forgiveness is getting tougher to come by. I guess this is just a knee-jerk reaction, we’re supremely pissed off right now, but you’re right. I shouldn’t have vented in such a manner.

4

I am so glad I have no tis to a family with any fraudulent, cheating, no-good thieves in it.

5

I am so glad I have no tis to a family with any fraudulent, cheating, no-good thieves in it.

Villainy needs be done in STYLE.
:smiley:

6

Sorry to butt in, but I think you’re right to vent! I’ve had to sever ties with my sister over a similar issue. She tried to apply for credit cards using my name and social security number. Fortunately for me, the company was quick to pick up on it and contacted me before any cards could be issued. My sister has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer–she listed car wash attendant as her occupation and $42,000 per year as her income! Unless it’s a topless car wash, I don’t think so!

And, as in your situation, my sister has been like this all her life. Once I had my own kids to think about, I realized that this is not the kind of person I want around them. Severing all connections with her, out of concern for my children’s welfare, was easy after that. Your future SIL is definitely someone to be wary of even if she’s welcomed back to the family with open arms.

7

:smack: must. read. posts. more. carefully…

I’d be worried that she may try more with that SSN. Credit cards? Identity theft? Unemployement fraud? It might be wise to get a peak at a credit report, to see if there has been any strange activity.

8

So far, Jen’s credit has been fine; we needed a credit check done in order for us to rent our apartment. And I think it’ll be okay if this is taken care of swiftly enough. Right now, I only hope that her sister will learn something out of this (what kind of punishment would this type of activity reap?), so that she can be welcomed back.

9

Well can’t she get jail time for this?

That’s one way to server ties with family, send one of them to jail.

10

A few years ago my wonderful brother used my name to avoid arrest. By the time I straightened everything (I hope) out, I have had to clear my name with King, Pierce, Lewis, Thurston, and Benton counties, the city of Tacoma and the state department of licensing. He had been using it for around 15 years. I am now one of about 200 folks in my state that have a passworded drivers license. He was just released from jail (again), I hope he tries to use my name again.

11

Well, I’m back, we talked to Jen’s aunt, whose husband has had problems in the past like this, and we’re gonna hafta file a police report and get a lawyer. Joy. Time to sue blood.

Plus, Jen’s mom is going to call her sister. Think of what this can do. Jen’s sister finds out that the jig is up, and bolts off somewhere else. This his touched a raw, exposed nerve with us, and Jen has begged her mother not to call. I have a feeling she will though, because Jen’s sister and her mom stick close, and they are definitely birds of a feather. Depending on what happens over the next few days, we may have two family members cast out. Jen keeps asking herself why this is happening to her, and what did she do to anyone?

I have said this already a few times, and I will say it again, what a great f’ing week (I’m sure you know what I’m talking about).

We’ll see what happens. My ever-dominant pessimistic side is telling me that Jen’s sister will never learn, as she takes after her mother (especially after reading about the con-artist in racer72’s family, how nice). My mom tries to see the good in all this, but she knows not to argue with a someone who has been a vitriolic cynic since age 8. And Jen concludes that once she washes her hands of this fiasco, her sister is dead to her. Fine by me.

-iD

12

irkenDoom, good on you for sticking by your fiancee’s side and not letting her wacky family get to you (or her). Jen must be very grateful to have someone strong at her side as she deals with all of this!

Best wishes for your upcoming marriage and may your future together be a happy one.

:: insert wedding smiley here ::

P.S. An industrial-size shredder (for your personal documents) might be an excellent wedding gift…

13

Hey, thanks, Tazma! She told me just half an hour ago that she’d be lost without me, or would be in severe debt for all the therapy bills she’d have to pay off. And considering what she’d been through with her family, and her ex-boyfriend, I believe it. But I’m more than happy to be her trauma sponge, that’s what being a husband is about, right? Protecting the one you care about deeply, among other things.

Most of her family isn’t entirely too bad, it’s just that her mom and sister are birds of a feather. Her mom wasn’t really a mother, she’d forget birthdays, make hollow promises, put her own desires before those of her children. She’s consistently deep in debt, and she always manages to weasel her way out of it. As it turns out, Jen’s sister is following in those footsteps.

Luckily, Jen was raised mostly by her dad, a mostly level-headed character, sometimes a bit cold. He taught her the values of persistence and hard work, but he’s slightly tough to talk to about major problems; plus, the fact he put Jen’s 20-year-old cat to sleep without giving her a chance to say good-bye hasn’t earned him points in my book.

But of course, you have to take the bad with the good. It’s all a part of marital bliss, really. I’m glad to be there for her, it’s a self-esteem booster (as mine is nil) knowing that I can make such an impact on somebody’s life, and she has made an equally megalithic impact on mine.

Also, thanks for the shredder idea… I’ll have to list that on the gift registry!

-iD

14

You might want to sign up with a credit watching service. www.privista.com is the one I use. It’s a commercial service, and there are other’s out there. Privista cost’s about $5.00 per month, and provides weekly notices of your credit status – alerts if there are any changes, good or bad.

I never thought I’d recommend something like it, but recently it caught a hard credit inquiry from my credit union – and I hadn’t applied for anything. They’re still trying to find out who accessed my credit report there, but I’d never have known about it if it wasn’t for Privista.

I also was able to fix some issues with my credit, things I hadn’t known were out there.