…Office sobbing as he looks into the camera and addresses the nation, saying, “It’s just been confirmed as a 100% certainty that a meteor the size of Jupitor will be slamming into earth within 90-minutes!”
And then – as your head reels from wondering if it’s all some kind of a sick joke – you see Bush remove a large caliber pistol from his desk, put it to his head and whimper, “Forgive me for Iraq, Lord; it was wrong to deploy so many young Americans to their deaths just so me and my pals could fatten our bank accounts.”
Just as he squeezes the trigger, you hit the remote and see an ashen Ted Koppel speaking to a stuttering guy from Cal Tech, as he says, “Yes, Ted, our our our calculations are correct; this this thing is going to strike earth and it will be in slightly less than 90-minutes.”
The camera moves within inches from Koppel’s mug, and he says, “There it is folks. The impending doom is real and has been confirmed by several independent sources – we’re all gonna die.”
Then, with one final opportunity to be the smug ass we’ve always known him to be, he states, “And I might add parenthetically … blah blah blah.”
You kill the TV before he can finish, and then you ___ (fill in the blank)
I gather my wife and kids wait for the cool explosion.
[nitpick]A meteor is technically the trajectory of visbile light which occurs when a meteorite (the rock itself) enteres the earth’s atmosphere. A body the size of Jupiter is called a “planet”…and it wouldn’t create a meteor because it wouldn’t slam into us, we would slam into it…we would be the meteor…and we would have far more than 90 minutes warning. Funny OP, though [/nitpick]
Get as high I can as quickly as I can using what ever drugs or booze I have on hand. If I’m going to die, I’d prefer not to feel it. I don’t live near the rest of my family and have no s.o. at the moment. If I can’t do the touchy, feely stuff then sensory obliteration would be a good second choice.
In light of the above answer, I’ll amend my answer to the extent of also arming myself so as to discourage anyone who feels the social contract is canceled, and who feels that this was the only thing keeping them from psycopathic behavior, from extending any such psychopathic behavior in our direction.
Actually, I would call my family and friends and tell them I love them. Then (since none of them are in town), I would drive down to the beach and hope for a good view.
Chipotle is owned by McDonalds, so I’m pretty sure they’ll still be there to prepare my Last Burrito. And the liquor store’s right next door. Once supplied I should have a good hour to sit outside by the lake, toss in the cell phone and take in the last of the last Autumn. I’m looking forward to this already!
