I don’t suppose I can solve my own case…
Agents Chris Shane and Leslie Vann of the FBI.
Just hope Chris doesn’t get hit by a car in the process. Again.
Who I don’t want?
Stan Beeman, of The Americans. My killer could serve Stan my thigh for dinner and the conversation would go like this:
“Holy, hell! That’s a leg!”
“What? Oh, Stan, stop it.”
“Goddammit, that’s a leg!”
“No, it’s Tiramasu*. A traditional greek dish.”
“Oh.” :chuckles: “I thought it was a leg. You sure?”
“Yeah, Stan. I’m sure.”
…
“Tastes like pork.”
“Feel free to eat the rest of it. I gotta run home, next door.”
“Oh, hey, I heard a bunch of screaming over there last night. Everything alright?”
:nervous chuckle: “No, everything is fine. Just fell asleep during a horror movie - didn’t know it was that loud, Stan. It won’t happen again. Enjoy your… Tiramasu.”
:mouth full, chewing: “Will do!”
*You think 1984-era Stan Beeman knows what Tiramasu is? Neither do I.
Somehow, I don’t see my murder being solved by a detailed knowledge of the social mores of Victorian England: “I know your alibi is false, sir: no self-respecting barrister would ever patronize a tobacconist on Fleet Street!”
Having him talk out of his ass (semi-literally) would be a big hit at the murder trial. 
Slight hijack here, but wouldn’t it suck to be the guy in prison who got caught by Inch High, Private Eye? Talk about being lowest on the pecking order… That guy who’s doing time for tearing tags off mattresses? You’d be his bitch!
Just as long as don’t go undercover as a husband and wife. I love the characters, but everytime they went out and did the whole “Hi, I’m Bobby, this is Alex” trying to get info on the perps, I just had to laugh at just how bad at this part of the job they were. Kinda endearing, now that I think of it.
Still my favorite episode. Dick van Dyke’s facial expression when he realized how Columbo made him give himself away, I could frame and hang on a wall.
I’ll take Gil’s twin 
Will Graham from Manhunter. The guy who caught Hannibal Lecter. Nuff Said.
I always thought putting Logan and Green together would make a real kick-ass team.
Or maybe John Steed and Emma Peel?
I want my murder to bring out nobody else than Fox Mulder and Dana Scully
The truth is out there…
Are you thinking of being murdered by ETs or something?
Yes. Why not?
Not nearly enough blood and carnage.
I don’t know; you may have him wrong. Holmes would be more likely to purchase a sample of every single variety of tobacco available in London to subject to exhaustive laboratory testing and provide irrefutable forensic evidence.
But Trent got it wrong, didn’t he?
I read a shit-ton of moldy old detective stories when I was a teenager, and Trent’s Last Case was one of the few that was so damn boring I couldn’t finish it.
But I can forgive Bentley. For inventing the clerihew.
That was a particularly good episode.
How about OJ Simpson? You just know he’s going to catch the real killer one of these days.
Oh, you said fictional?
Well OJ is pretty unlikely!
Sure, but the murder was in Chicago
I’m with you on Spenser and Hawk.
I would have said Travis McGee, but that would require me to leave an estate big enough that he would want half of it and THAT ain’t gonna happen…
I’d want Nancy Drew on the case for the sole reason that I have crush that Would Not Die on Pamela Sue Martin.
And in July of 1978 I spent a lot of time in my room shall we say.
I’m going to go with DSS Mike Shepherd, although I would have to be murdered in Brokenwood, NZ. (Twenty episodes and no sheep. Doesn’t make sense.)
Massachusetts residents are also allowed to name Homer Kelly.
You’re right about him being wrong, but I read the novel as an adult, and I didn’t think it was that bad.
But speaking of the old timers, what about the Old Man in the Corner?
I love that guy! Best “armchair detective” before Nero Wolfe came around in 1934.
How about H.C. Bailey’s Reggie Fortune? Nearly as irritating as S.S. Van Dine’s Philo Vance. “My dear aunt!”