“Oh, that? The killer was clearly his sister, the left-handed heart surgeon.”
“Then why were you sampling all of those drugs from London?”
“Hmm?”
Obvious, given the thread title: Hamlet.
I’d get to hang around for a ghost for a couple of acts at least and tell the full story while waiting for him to get on with it.
I’ve never read Philo Vance, but if he’s more irritating than Reggie Fortune I don’t want to.
I never read Philo Vance, but used to listen to the radio (OTR) versions. There was definitely something going on between Vance and DA Markham.
That reminds me, the Thin Man! Did he survive Prohibition?
Though, strictly speaking, they weren’t detectives, I always thought Raffles and Bunny had a thing going on between them.
Slight 75 year old spoiler ahead:
No, he died in the first film. he was Mr Body, aka "The Deceased, aka the victim. Which is why the sequels were a bit puzzling. The Thin Man is not really in the first film, nor IIRC any of the sequels, which since he was dead - is understandable.
And Boston Blackie. He had a sidekick as well. I’d forgotten about him.
Father Brown. GK Chesterton’s Father Brown, not the TV Father Brown (who solves crimes like solving riddles).
GK Chesterton’s Father Brown was humble and brought a deep insight into human nature along with an idiosyncratic knowledge of crime. He was, admittedly, a little holier than I am, but at least he wasn’t more criminal than I am. I’d not like my death to be the occasion of more criminality.
Dawn French had a lovely murder series “Murder Most Horrid”, where she was variously the victim, somebody else, or the murderer. A delightful twist on the genre.
One that hasn’t been mentioned is Dick Tracy.
Under the “avenged” standard, I would choose Frank Castle.
Glad to see Spenser and Hawk getting some love here. I’ve been working my way through Parker’s novels over the past few years and enjoying them immensely.
I read only one Philo Vance book, the first, and he was *incredibly *irritating. Ogden Nash had it right: Philo Vance - Wikipedia
The first one — The Benson Murder Case — is unreadable. Arguably the best of the set is The Bishop Murder Case, but I also enjoyed Greene and Canary (in which Vance determined the killer by playing poker with all the suspects.)
By far the grooviest thing about the Vance books is the intricate little maps of the murder scene in each frontispiece. Very 1920s.
Another interesting fact: S.S. Van Dyne is on record as saying “no human being is capable of generating more than a half-dozen ingenious detective novel plots.”
The first six Philo Vance novels are good reading. The other six suck.
I like your answer.
Me, I want to die laughing. I guess a second option would be to be dead and engender laughter.
I’ve just started re-reading Bridge of Birds, and I now want Li Kao and Number Ten Ox to investigate.
Then, he hasnt read Nero Wolfe, because he is dead wrong.
They’d do well in Ancient China, but I dunno in modern times.
Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie and Robert B. Parker, among others, also prove that.
Eh. Part of the fun of Judge Dredd is how the Judges apply the law in arbitrary and unfair manners. You can get three years in the iso-cubes for mass murder and death by high-explosive for jaywalking.