You've been sent to Hell... with a personalized soundtrack!

Puttin on the Ritz.

Anything by Toni Basil.

Anything by the Spice Girls.

Anything by Buster Poindexter.

Most of the idiot-metal being produced today.

Pretty much all rap being produced today.

Any showtunes, songs from plays, broadway productions, anything like that.

And since this is hell, it’s all played at 1/2 speed.

Oh, yeah, also Alvin [grimace] and the [shudder] Chipmunks.

My two main ones would be:
Starship - “We Built This City”
Elvis - “In the Ghetto”
I’d also have to include the entire collections of Celine Dion, Better Middler, Barbra Streisand, Gloria Estefan, and Toby Keith. Probably lots of other country stuff that I’m blocking from my mind right now.

I’m amazed no-one’s mentioned Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. Makes me want to kill someone every time I hear it.

Wait, Celine Dion is a singer? I thought she was a torture device? Are you sure? :confused:

She would have to go on my list if she counts. That and some Howard Cosell Play-by-Play of Baseball Games from the Seventies.

Jim

This is an easy one.

Anything by Hendrix.
Anything by Nirvana.
Anything by Pearl Jam.

Makes me shudder…

“You can’t get off. We have five more continents to visit.”

I loathe Neil Diamond’s song Sweet Caroline. Why they started playing it in the 8th inning at Fenway Park, I don’t know. Why that practice has spread to several other major league ballparks, I also can’t fathom. Why the list of such parks includes Shea Stadium, to which I have a Saturday home game season mini-plan, I have no idea, but… I suffer. Deeply.

It could certainly be far worse though. I got a CD of the 2007 Grammy Award nominees at a rest stop on a recent road trip. It had a lot of good songs I liked and didn’t have in my personal catalog, such as Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy. But it also had My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas.

Have to say I agree with I’ve Never Been to Me, and I never liked Cat’s Cradle. Can’t remember who sang that. But about . .

I have the LP of it. I mostly keep it as a threat. :smiley: Maybe next Halloween.

And that was one of his better songs.

For, it would be:

Any Sondheim score other than “Forum”
Any Barry Manilow song other than “Copacabana”
Anything by the Steve Miller Band after “Love Beach”
Any Rod Stewart song after “Gasoline Alley.”
Anything by Kenny Rogers
“Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree”
“Joy to the World”
“Neanderthal Man” by Hotlegs

Harry Chapin. It was also done by Ugly Kid Joe.

The complete work of Moxie Fruvous. I’d be begging "Please Satan: Plug my ears with molten lead!!! Please!!!

Hmph.

White collar conservatives flashing down the street,
Pointing their plastic finger at me…
They’re hopin’ soon my kind will drop and die,
But I’m gonna wave my freak flag high!

I’m the one who’s got to die when it’s time for me to die.
So let me live my life… The way I want to.
Sing on, brother… Play on, drummer!

Though I guess I should have let If6Was9 post that.

The soundtrack to Moulin Rouge. Since this is not the Pit, the less said about how I feel about this movie and its music, the better.

Glurgey patriotic new-country songs. I get all these confused, but I know there was a rash of them after 9/11, and every single one of them gives me The Rage.

And I hate to say it, but after I realized the other day how much I hate it: Rehab by Amy Winehouse. Not only is it annoying - it’s catchy! I hate that song and I find myself singing it, goddammit!

Bobby McFerin raped my grandmother!

(yes, Alec baldwin said it)

The old Hanes Happy Underwear jingle. The commercial showed a small girl and boy (sans outer layers of clothing) capering around a grassy meadow, while a woman crooned in the background:

“Happy Underwear to youuuuuuuuu.”

“Happy Underwear to youuuuuuuuu.”

“Happy Underwearrrrr…my darlinnnnnngggggsssss.”

“Happy Underwear to youuuuuuuuu.”

96 Tears by ? & the Mysterians. I’ve mentioned this abomination before.

Before or after he recorded that horrid song? (Ferrin rapin’ granny, not Baldwin sayin’ things.)

The Barenaked Ladies’ discography on endless repeat. My boss plays their stuff constantly, and to know that I couldn’t look forward to going home and listening to good music would truely be Hell.

Here is my soundtrack for “Music to Kill Yourself By”:
[ul]
[li]“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” - Wham- If I shot and killed the DJ for playing this infernal song AGAIN I’m sure the jury would have understood.[/li][li]“Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” - Culture Club- Well, since you asked…YES![/li][li]“Rainy Day Woman” by Bob Dylan (I think this is the right title, it’s annoying as hell)[/li][li]“Barbie Girl” - don’t know, don’t care who sung it, all I know is that the world would be a better place if every copy of this song was eradicated from existence.[/li][li]“Macarena”- Memories of 1996 are forever ruined by this indelible stain on my psyche.[/li][li]“Who Let the Dogs Out” - Baja Men- Thank God this one only had a short run.[/li][li]“Crocodile Rock” - Elton John- Sir Elton’s other works with Mr. Taupin are fine, but this one has grated my nerves ever since I was a kid.[/li][li]“I Can’t Dance” - Genesis- I can’t believe Genesis would Ever put out such jarring tripe. Maybe you can’t dance, Phil, but you CAN sing! I’ve heard you do it before! What HAPPENED?!!![/li][li]“Walk Like a Man” - Frankie Valli. Did this guy have any testosterone in his body at all?[/li][li]Anything by Michael Jackson[/li][li]Anything by Billy Idol[/li][li]Anything by Rod Stewart[/li][li]Anything by Sublime[/li][li]Anything by Everlast[/li][li]Anything by Eminem[/li][li]Any rap “artist”, period.[/li][li]Ditto for country[/li][/ul]

Yeah, I like a whole bunch of the songs mentioned here. I never claimed to have good taste in music.

For me:
The aforementioned jingoistic glurgefest country garbage, especially the post-9/11 stuff.
All other new-country glurgefests. I hope you choke on your “Christmas Shoes” and “Butterfly Kisses,” unknown songwriters!
Pretty much anything by Matchbox 20.
“Sunny Came Home” by Shawn Colvin.
Pearl Jam’s “Last Kiss”