I’ve been registered here for 5.5 years, lurked for at least that long before registering and this is my 111th post, so yeah…I’ll just lurk here. It wouldn’t change my experience at all!
Since I’m 99% lurk anyway, the choice was easy.
ETA: Don’t let the Dec 2002 fool you, I lurked for about 2 years and only registered when I did because I wanted to do a search
Yeah, well… I’m gonna go build my own message board, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the message board.
yeah - but there would be less evidence of why we … err… you don’t get any work done.
It’s pretty difficult to imagine a series of events that would lead to me being justifiably banned, but I imagine I’d lurk for a few weeks, logging on more and more infrequently, and would eventually stop coming altogether.
With one notable exception. 
This, except with more crying.
There have been fairly long periods over the past 14(!) years where I’ve hardly looked at the board or read the boards without posting at all. Sometimes my attention gets diverted by other things and sometimes I get a kind of board fatigue, but I always come back.
I chose “other” because I’d probably start with “screw this place” and then I’d start lurking.
Would I eventually make a sock? I’m not sure. I think the “no sock” policy is excellent, so I’d be inclined not to. Wait…can people who haven’t registered do searches? If not, I’d probably end up making a search-sock. I frequently dig up old threads. Google search is okay for finding stuff, but sometimes native search is necessary.
I did get a three-month warning ban for being too good for the place. I got bored with lurking quickly, and made an intensive effort to find better places to hang out on the Web. I did find one, it’s called Second Life. Some very smart, fun people hang out there, if you know how to find them. And it’s visually WAAAAY ahead of The Straight Dope …
Probably hang out at the Giraffe Boards full-time. They have better orgies anyway.
My first thought on seeing the poll was “Hi Opal!” And then my mind went to a very dark place. 
Here’s hoping nobody goes that route.
I’d sit back and wait, secure in the knowledge that my legions of loyal fans (“The Pig Posse”) would besiege the admins with loud and insistent demands for my reinstatement, and that I would soon be back.
I’d launch an investigation into whether the banning was entirely in error (wrong name or IP), or whether someone had unauthorized access to my account.
If I found no evidence of either of these, I’d be seeking therapy to determine whether I was having blackouts or experiencing some kind of fugue state or dissociative disorder.
Outside of these possibilities, there is no other conceivable reason why I would be banned.
Go back to sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos, and masturbating all day.
I’d go back to stripping.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Can I change my answer? Can I? Huh? Huh?
I’d blame everything on the recent hacking!
I’d lurk here and post elsewhere.
Take revenge
Other:
I’d just shrug and move on. I’ve been here fourteen years or so (with a break for the pay to post period) but never really posted much. I have been known to go weeks without checking here.
And I’m sure you’d all just get on fine without me.
There’s always the Crooked Dope to fill your time.
I’d assume that there was some mistake, and contact one of the admins to see what happened. Just like I did when Marley banned everybody.