“I can’t thank you enough for making it so wonderful to work here. But as you know, I’ve been planning to retire early so that I have more time to focus on my music studies. I’ve just come into some money that makes it feasible for me to stop working sooner, so I’m giving you two weeks notice. I’ll be glad to help for a few hours a week after that until you have a replacement who can handle the work. Thanks again for making the last job I’ll have in the paying workforce the best job I ever had!”
I want to thank you for being an excellent boss, but I’m retiring since I’m financially in a position where I no longer need to work. It’d actually be awkward if I did continue to do so, driving my NEW LAMBORGHINI! WOOHOO! into the parking lot. There’d be questions.
Anywhoo, I’d be happy to give you a month to find a replacement, of course I’ll be happy to answer any questions they may have after that point, and if you’d like, I’d also be willing to periodically consult after that point as needed. Via teleconference. From my yacht. In the lesser Antilles.
Regards,
-Bouncer-
OP says “millions” plural, so at least two million. I had the same question though; are we talking two, twenty or 100 million, big difference…
You’re fired.
(hey - I’ve worked a lot of small businesses. I could swing it if I got that much.)
I guess the key would be “unless you manage to buy an mlb, nba or nfl team” I guess that would put it in the at least 100 million dollar range…
If I had a lesser employer guess I would say “I’m retiring in two weeks and oh by the way, I’m calling in sick for the next two weeks.” HAHA! No, really I’d really give them the opportunity to hire someone and for me to train them as needed as they have been very good to me.
Had I encountered that kind of money while working for a certain one of my past bosses, I might have invested some of it in hiring a contract on him.
And, BTW, thanks for all the fish.
I’d hire my team. There’s this little idea I’d love to fund. Need good people help me get things running. Beyond that, the less I say, the better.
Before it kicked off though, some serious R&R. Hawaii or Alaska. Maybe both.
Hey, I quit. But, I have a job for you guys. I’ve got the tooling in the works and should be ready for sampling soon. I’d like to work with this guy and that one too, but not him. He’s a nice enough guy, but he’s too tedious. Anyway, I won’t miss this job for a second, but I’ll enjoy continuing to work with you. Thanks!
Also self employed, so I’d tell me “WooHoo!”.
Had it happened while I was at my previous employer, the Executive Director would have received a hand delivered/signature required package containing an autographed 8x10 glossy picture of my bare ass and a tube of lipstick. The boss immediately below him would get a picture of me sitting on a beach sipping some rum & juice type drink (with an umbrella in it) holding a sign that says “I Quit”.
On reflection, I might wait until about 10:30 on the day after I collected the money and do the following:
Then have a huge gaudy bus drive up in front of the building and stop. Whereupon a half-dozen trumpeters in Egyptian-inspired costumes hop out and play some kind of fanfare. My herald would get off the bus and announce my arrival. Four hugely muscled men would clamber out, set up a sedan chair, and patiently wait while I got off the bus into the sedan chair.
Then the entire procession would move into the building, horns playing. In the lobby, my herald would announce my presence, and demand my boss’ attendance.
When he showed up, I’d get off my sedan chair, hand him my resignation letter, and tell him it was fun.
No 2 weeks notice… it’s not like I’d actually work in that period if I’d come into insane money, and it’s not like they could train someone to replace me in that period either. Ripping the band-aid off would be for the best.
Then, I’d climb back into the sedan chair, the herald would announce my departure, and the horns would play again, and the whole procession would go back out to the bus and we’d leave.
An annuity, say at 4%, would pay you $4000/mo for the rest of your life.
We’ve moved from a hierarchical structure to a matrix-management structure. So currently there are three people who are my bosses in different senses of the word.
The ones I actually do work for, I’d take out for lunch (along with some of my co-workers) and drinks. I like these people, and have worked well with them for years.
But I’d have a few words with my division chief about the way this place’s management has gotten increasingly stupid over the past 2-3 years, before I quit worrying about it forever. Some of the stupidity is specific to her, and some of it comes from higher up. For the latter part, she can relay my messages if she wants.
pfft Not sure how that changes my answer.
Nice! But you should add two dancing girls spreading rose petals, and you throwing gold-foil chocolate coins.
“Boss, I’ve become fabulously wealthy and no longer need to work. I’d offer to stay for a couple weeks, but you know how distractable I am under the normal run of things–If I stay one more minute it’d be tantamount to stealing from the company. I’ve told you before, and I’ll say it one last time now that I have nothing to gain from it: You’re the best boss I ever had.”
It doesn’t. I was just in a grumpy mood when I saw your earlier post, and it irked me that you went out of your way to say you would do things already specified in the OP.
Pain was getting to me, sorry.
I’d let my supe know that I’d enjoyed working with him over the years, but I was in a position to retire early. I’d also wish him the best.
My manager would get this and a few thanks for the things he’d taught me, then I’d invite him to continue to ride (motorcycles) with the group when he can.
Then, I’d cut out. My plant is currently downsizing and we are slightly overstaffed in my department, so someone else in my position may be able to keep a job.
“Here’s my accountant’s business card. Set up a meeting and we’ll figure out how much you need to retire.”
My boss is a great guy.
Sounds like most of us have good bosses.
I just started a new job a few weeks ago, but I’ve known my boss (actually my boss’s boss) since 2001 and I have nothing negative to say about her or my new company. Of course, I can’t imagine continuing to work: I genuinely enjoy my career, and staying involved in some capacity would be tempting, but ultimately the opportunity to pursue music full-time would be impossible to pass up. If I were in the middle of a proposal I’d offer to see it through; otherwise, it’d be the standard 2 weeks.
Whenever I leave a job my “goodbye” email ends with that quote. 