I fell off my mo’bike last week. No excuse at all except a spot of inattention on a road I knew too well, which is not smart on a dark, damp November evening, so be warned, all ye fellow two-wheelers.
OTOH, it’s not all bad. Not only was the bike (a BMW F650) not seriously damaged, but I only banged my elbow and, despite scraping some fifteen yards up the road with no leathers on, just a waterproof over my day clothes, I lost only a thumbprint’s worth of skin on said elbow (as well as shredding the waterproof).
However: I now have a quite painless but thoroughly spectacular bruise running from a hand-width above the elbow to a hand-width above the wrist, something like a foot long in total, which must be where I was sliding on the inside of the bent arm. It’s a deep blue-black-purple kinda shade, sort of pretty, and as I say, doesn’t hurt one little bit. (The point of the elbow is still smarting, though.)
Anyone else suffered a similar painless but interestingly-coloured injury?
It wasn’t my injury, but an ex-boyfriend slid in some gravel and had about a third of his outer hip and thigh bruised. It developed a fluid pocket underneath that had to be drained. It was an anusual looking wound, but didn’t hurt him much.
I momentarily forgot my first rule of house painting a few days ago, the rule being “When painting while standing on a ladder, never step back to admire your work.”
As a result I also have a spectacular Hematoma of Many Colors wrapped around the outer part of my arm near the elbow. Just beautiful. But no other injuries to speak of.
I took a bit of a high-speed header off my bicycle this summer. Landed on my face, sheared the visor of my helmet, broke my sunnies, cut and scraped my lovely visage, and knocked myself out.
The fun bit is that because I went over my handlebars while the bike was coming to a standstill, I had two perfectly handle-bar shaped bruised across my thighs - the brakes and gear-shift levers were easily discernable. I also bent the seat in an unusual manner, resulting in a Kool-Ade purple, fist-sized bruise in the most unholy of places.
For two weeks, I looked like the toughest chick in town.
The inside of my left elbow was just about every color of the rainbow at some point in the week after I donated blood for the first time in August. Apparently, I used my arm too much or something, and thus ended up with a bruise about an inch in diameter, which went from nearly-black to brown to purple to greenish to pinkish.
I was on my bicycle and not really paying attention to where I was going; next thing I knew, I was headed right for a parked truck. I wasn’t able to avoid it completely and clipped a side-view mirror with my arm. Ended up with a huge multicolored bruise on my upper arm.
Some years ago, I went waterskiing with some friends. Since I was a very inexperienced water skier, I fell a lot. The last time I fell, I managed to bring my right waterski over and whack my left thigh with it.
I had a HUGE spectacular bruise running from about 6" below my hip joint to just above the inside of my knee. It was about 4" wide at the widest point. You could see it through a pair of light colored slacks I wore. It was a little sore, but not much.
It wasn’t spectacular, and it wasn’t visible to the world at large, but twice I’ve had horseshoe-shaped bruises on my back after being ejected from a horse – once in a fit of bucking at the gallop, the other in a sudden-spook spin-and-bolt. Both times the horse caught me with a hind hoof, not deliberately, but merely as a byblow as I headed earthward. The second ejection had the added bonus of depositing me in a bramble bush.
You don’t have to be crazy to ride horses, but it helps.
Well, if you study any (hard) martial arts you’ll be familiar with this situation.
Basically, if you’re ever lucky enough to get paired up with the teacher on conditioning exercises, you can look forward to some spectacularly colourful forearms.
I carefully ironed a pair of khaki capri pants as well as a cool looking denim shirt and then donned all for church. I was looking pretty spiffy. That is until I was sitting in class and crossed my legs and realized I had this beautiful techni-colored bruise about the size of a grapefruit on the back of my left calf. WTF?? I had no idea it was there and it didn’t hurt at all. Boy was I embarrassed. It looked as if I dressed in order to show it off.
Then there was this one time I was laying on the floor playing with my 2 yr old and I flipped over on my stomach and right on top of a toy in my crotch. It took my breath away for several minutes and bruised really prettily. Well of course I had an appointment with my OB-GYN coming up. It takes ages to get in so there was no way I was going to cancel. We went through the whole exam with nothing being said about the big bruise. I still wonder what the doc thought about it but I bet thise guys see a lot of weird stuff.
Leaked inside once while donating blood, to the size of a buried golf ball inside my elbow. It turned purple then black then green then yellow as it spread to discolor my arm and eventually my shoulder and part of my chest and back. No discomfort at all, though.
I tripped and fell over one of those baby gate things you put in doorways (we use them to keep our dog out of some areas of the house) and landed on the frame. I had bruises on my knee and the top of my foot, and a hell of a good one on my shin that lasted for about six months. That one really hurt, though.
