Hugely enjoying some Arrested Development re-runs at the moment, and particularly Henry Winkler’s Barry Zuckerman, possibly the world’s most appallingly incompetent lawyer.
It got me thinking - in a race to the bottom, who would be worse - Barry Zuckerkorn or The Simpsons’ Lionel Hutz? Is there any other TV lawyer in the same league?
Zuckerkorn would win against Hutz; the latter has to repair shoes to make a living.
I can’t think of any that are that level of incompetent. Dan Fielding (Night Court) had personality issues, but seemed generally competent. Jackie Chiles (Seinfeld) also seemed…a character…but apparently was successful.
Ted from Scrubs?
Maybe the hyperchicken?
Hamilton Burger. Prosecuted hundreds of cases, but never won one, and always went after the wrong person. He should have learned not to bother with any client of Perry Mason, yet still he continued.
Hm. Hutz clearly only has clients who can’t afford anyone else for their cases, while Zuckerkorn’s strategy is to get stupid, but wealthy clients, and tell them what they want to hear. In a head-to-head case, Hutz might well win, by accidentally getting clients with a reasonable case, while Zuckerkorn wouldn’t prepare (and might even make more money on a loss, by stringing out the appeals). Hutz actually wants to win, while Barry doesn’t care very much, as long as he continues to have a few clients who are willing to pay him (see also Gene Parmesan).
That seems an excellent summary of their distinctive failures as lawyers. Its a mark of just how bad Barry Zuckerman is as a lawyer, that his competitors like Bob Loblaw seem moderately competent by comparison.
And I only just saw that I wrote Zuckerman in the OP. D’oh!
It sure depends on the case. If it involved close-up pictures of genitals thought to resemble satellite imagery, Zuckerkorn would win easily. Hutz would have the edge in false advertising cases, with his experience against The Neverending Story. The downside is that Hutz requires a retainer: “Works on contingency? No, money down!”
If you need to get off by reason of insanity, you’d want to hire Hyperchicken. Hiring him is irrefutable evidence of insanity.
He’s not on TV, but in a movie: Dennis Denuto in [The Castle](The Castle (1997 Australian film) - Wikipedia) seems pretty incompetent, especially as a courtroom lawyer.
I’d retain Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law over any of those.