I read this on some web page i forgot to mark; i find its points intriguing:
It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.
Please. You have no one to blame but yourself. Have you even announced to the object of your affliction that you would like to upgrade beyond “just friends” status?
No, I stand by ACK here. Every nice guy I know (myself included) has been dumped at one point or another for some jerkwad hyperagressive control freak.
I knew a guy in High School who would go out with naive girls 4-5 years younger than him, almost immediately get into an intense physical relationship, than dump them after a month. No dating, no romance, just “Let me sneak into your room so we can fuck” type business and threatening them every time they did something he didn’t like. I swear to god that guy was slimier than Mike Tyson.
The nice guys will accept what the girl thinks about them and not really object much to the way they get treated; the jerks yell and argue all the time and the girls just come crawling back.
As someone who would want to identify himself as a “nice guy,” this is all I have to say. I’d rather be a “nice guy” and be alone than a slimeball with girls galore. I want to be able to live with myself, thank you.
What strikes me about the OP is that he is admitting that his ‘efforts’ are also an attempt to “score” and is only whinning that the “assholes” have more luck than he does.
In other words, if you’re motives by “listening” and being “a nice guy” are no different than the “assholes”…why would a girl be any better off by falling for your approach?
So, assholes act nice and friendly and get laid, yet nice guys act nice and friendly and get nothing … this indicates to me it’s a bit more than just being an asshole or a nice guy. More like the asshole has some self-confidence while the self-proclaimed “nice-guy” is a doormat asking to be walked upon.
Hmmm, whatever “nice guy” wrote that must have the women swooning at his choice of phrases.
Hmmm, I consider myself to be a pretty nice guy, with a good personality, not overly dashing or anything, and I’ve gotten laid. Perhaps if you (generic “you”) keep not getting laid, it’s time to see where the blame should fall and maybe see that you’re the common denominator.
I think I know what the problem is with the writer of the article - he’s got the rampant stink of desperation which drives everyone, not just the women he’s hoping to screw, away.
The articles attached are correct. I didn’t see this covered, though.
In my experience, the reason the nice guys finish last is because they want to play outside their league. Look in the mirror. A shallow, beautiful woman will usually want to hook up with a man who shares those qualities. If you are not shallow, and not beautiful, you have nothing in common, why would she want you? How can you expect a shallow person to recognize depth and appreciate/want it if they choose not to cultivate it in themselves? I bet you have turned down plenty of “nice” girls who weren’t up to your stringent physical standards of what a woman should be. Plenty of nice guys have lots of luck with women. Are you chasing the right kind of woman?
Personally, in my past I only dumped one man for being too nice, and it was because he came across as ungenuine. I don’t think he knew who he really was, he was just playing a part. I don’t need an actor for a boyfriend. Are you just playing a part? If you do these things because you expect it to get you something and not because that is who you really are, then she can tell (if she isn’t in the shallow/beautiful category), and that is a huge turnoff.
As far as the women who run back to the assholes, I can’t justify it except that confidence is infectious, and if a woman has self-esteem issues, she may attach her self worth to his. IF you don’t ooze confidence, you can’t help her deal with her own issues, so you are passed by.
Try reading a book like http://www.briantracy.com/catalog/default.asp?CategoryID=9
“21 great ways to meet and marry the woman of your dreams”. I have listened to the sound clip they have on this page, and based on that, I think he is on the right track.
Well, my beau is a “Nice Guy” and I think he’s totally hot and I want to have his children - well, not anytime super soon, but you know what I’m saying.
Lots of young women like the bad boy. Hopefully, we grow out of it.
My hubby’s a nice guy. We’ve been together a while and when we first started dating, my girlfriends thought he was sweet but boring-now (years later) they want to clone him :p. And my husband is a genuinely nice guy-not someone who is "trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. " Nor does he consider girls to be idiots. I wouldn’t consider either of those to be “nice guy” traits.
As alice said, many women grow up and want nice guys later in life.
Okay, I just saw a post somewhere else by the OP where he says he is 17. So “all of your post-pubescent life” is what, 3 years? High school does end, you will meet real women worth your time when you go to college (which I know you intend to do, from the other board). High school politics prevent nice guys from getting anywhere, unless you can find a girl outside your school. A majority of women (60% maybe?) choose boyfriends to improve their social status in high school and for no other reason. It will get better, I swear. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine. If the nice guy thing was just a routine, drop it, figure out who you really are, and stop trying to get women soley for the purpose of sleeping with them. Women can see THAT a mile away, whether they are shallow or not.
Well, as it turns out, me being the OP, is not the author of the large portion of the first post. Rather, I found that online, and was just wondering what other people thought. Yes, I am a nice guy, and no, i am not unhappy with it. I just wanted to see what other people thought. That’s all folks.