Up Yers Chick Don't Tell Them To Ruin Halloween For The Kids

The BBQ Pit
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So Jack The Chick gives his annualHalloween message advising folks to help the poor heathen children by stuffing their goodie bags with Tracts.

Now I as an adult can handle these lies and bigoted comics but now they are asked to give that crap to the Kids.

I’m warning my neighbours out there if they feel so inclined: Don’t you fucking dare try that cowardly means of witnessing to the kids. I mean it. I find one tract and I’m knocking on doors and taking names!

Either give them the candy or if you truly believe this is Satan’s holiday lock your doors and put up a sign you superstitious empty headed zealots!

Other than that the site is damned funny Are Vampires Real? is particularly amusing as it is written by an exVampire who dined on nothing but “Blood, wafers, and comunal wine” Hmm I wonder who that was a swipe at :rolleyes:

Oh Yeah, in case I get off track… screw you Chick, If your Halloween message was paper I’d use it to wipe my stinky posterior!

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For the children! Huzzah!

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If I found out my neighbors were giving out Chick tracts, I’d find out who it is, go over there, and tell them to stuff it up their ass, because I would never want my children reading that filth.

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A fun-size Snickers only lasts a few minutes. Chick Tracts amuse for much longer. If you don’t want them, I’ll take em!

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So Bill is a 32nd degree Mason, Vampire, Wiccan. Wow. What degree has Angel and Spike reached?

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Don’t get me wrong I love to laugh at them, but the kids may take them too literally and I really don’t want to have my sons ask me if they are going to burn in hell because some comic tells them they will, or if their aunt is going to hell because she’s Catholic.

Worse I don’t want my kids to suddenly worry about this. I want my kids to enjoy life and be, well, kids. And these days that’s hard to keep up without some bonehead neighbour adding to the baggage out there.

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If you look at the bottom of the article he has also supposedly held advanced status within Wicca, Freemasons, and Satanic religions.

Thats one busy vampire! :eek:

No wonder Jack keep writing, compared to this bozo, Jack sounds like a reputable source.

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Exactly.

They’re extremely funny-but little kids don’t understand “satire”. Or irony.

If someone had given me that as a child, I would probably have had nightmares and been a wreck. I was a good little Catholic girl, and I loved my teachers and my school.
(Catholic school, nuns for teachers).

To say that we were going to Hell-well, I would have been horrified and confused.

If Chick advocates that, I’d find who it was-and leave memorial prayer cards and Rosary tracts in their mailbox.

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Exactly.

They’re extremely funny-but little kids don’t understand “satire”. Or irony.

If someone had given me that as a child, I would probably have had nightmares and been a wreck. I was a good little Catholic girl, and I loved my teachers and my school.
(Catholic school, nuns for teachers).

To say that we were going to Hell-well, I would have been horrified and confused.

If Chick advocates that, I’d find who it was-and leave memorial prayer cards and Rosary tracts in their mailbox.

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Here is my open letter to the "Lost Children:

Dear Ones against Chick:
My heart breaks when I think about the way little children are suffering today. Many are being scarred by mental abuse, bigotry, Fundie and biblel-crazed parents, not to mention the trauma of Hatred. No wonder the little punks are so cynical these days.

Why are things so bad? Because most children are growing up with Chick Tracts and forced fundamentalism trust upon them. They have no hope. They can’t look to their parents because most of them grew up with those narrowminded comics too. Now these precious little ones are drowning in a cesspool of lies, bigotry .

Beloved, we know that, in knowledge and open mindednes, there is hope for all children. But how can we avenge those left in ignorance? Here is one very effective way:

This Halloween, millions of lost kids will come to the front doors of Jack Chick… asking for a treat. Of course the Dolt will see this as “an amazing witnessing opportunity”. Being a lazy fat oaf he’ll be doing it simply by dropping a Chick tract or two into each Trick-or-Treat bag.

Please children if you come across this loon do us a favour and each of you leave your own treat. Be it a case of rotten eggs thrown against his house, a toilet papered tree, a soaped window, the ever popular Doggie Doo in a flaming bag or just calling him up and ask him if his refrigerator is running we must avenge the poor lost children who didn’t get their candy from this twisted creep.

And the best part is, those kids will take the tracts back home, where their parents will probably read them too have a good hearty laugh.

Beloved, Halloween is one night each year that witnessing is so cheesy… because lost children actually come to you, asking for a treat and this bozo gives them a hateful comic book. This year, let’s give him a treat that will show him.

Yours for the lost Jack Chick,
Kingpengvin

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I read one of those tracts when I was ten. Was Chick writing these 30 years ago? It had me convinced I would not live to see the next millennium, and that I was unredeemable.

I don’t have words for my feeling of disgust about this…

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:: Sigh ::

Here’s one of the tracts linked to from Chick’s Halloween letter:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0032/0032_01.asp

A few critiques:

  1. Yet again a child gets killed so Chick can prove a point. I know children actually do get killed, but Chick seems obsessed with killing off his characters, so he can show them in Hell.

  2. Children are not presumed to be innocent; Chick has no concept of the age of reason. He’s pictorially sent very small children to Hell. I wonder what he thinks happens to tiny newborn infants who “die in their sins.” Surely he has a cutoff point below which children are “safe,” but I haven’t figured out what it is.

You can teach a 2-year-old to parrot the Sinner’s Prayer but I doubt it’s meaningful if the kid doesn’t understand it.

  1. Mrs. Baxter the Sunday School teacher is certain of the state of Timmy’s immortal soul and its destination. Yikes - a bit presumptuous. Can she see into his heart?

  2. Timmy’s “worldly friends” look pretty ratty and nasty - the drawings clearly made to look “sinful” to the whitebread middleclass Sunday-school-going readers. This is a recurring theme - Chick dresses the “sinners” in typical sinner garb. Gee, they remind me of the kind of worthless rabble Christ liked to hang out with.

  3. Bobby says the Sinner’s Prayer and is immediately Saved, of course. “I feel so safe. I KNOW I’ll go to heaven when I die.” He’s beaming all over. Reinforces Chick’s myth that an instantaneous emotional transformation is the evidence of salvation. Doubtless turns off anyone who says the prayer and doesn’t immediately “feel so safe” and “KNOW they’ll go to Heaven.”

(I was taken in by the lie of emotionalism as a kid; I’m very sensitive to this one. If you don’t KNOW you’re Saved, then obviously you didn’t do it right.)

Talk about being saved through works rather than grace… sheesh. For Chick it’s all about saying the magic words. And if you say them and you don’t immediatly start glowing with supernatural joy, you must be unsaveable.

Sorry for the seriousness - you may now return to your mocking.

p.s. If I get to Heaven and it turns out God/Christ is that white faceless thing on the throne, I’m going to run away shrieking. What a creepy God. He appears in almost every single Chick tract. What’s up with that?

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My church is having a Harvest Party instead and considers Halloween evil.
I believe it can be, but I tell my son that we are “taking back the Holiday” and its all about costumes and candy.
He’s never worn a scary costume either and wont.

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Vanilla, you might want to explain how wearing a scary costume is evil. Is it actually EVIL to dress up in a costume? What, **exactly,[/B[ is evil about wearing a sheet with a couple of holes in it and making funny ghost sounds? Honest to God, what is it with people who see “Evil” in the most innocuous, simple, innocent stuff?

The same people who go berzerk over Hallowe’en and Harry Potter and Ouija boards…

On second thought, forget I asked you to explain it. What’s the use?

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I didn’t even know Wicca had levels. I wonder what level I am?

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GRRRR…

I’m having a super Aggro day.

Can’t read anymore about Chick, or I’ll lose it.

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Thank you. I now have my next D&D character basics. Except I think I’ll make him a Stonecutter instead.

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Yeah, didn’t you get the memo? Us Wiccans have gotten all organized and have deemed you to be in level 2. Have a nice day!

:smiley:

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What pisses me off about Chick tracts is his willingness to show kids in hell. I don’t think they’re capable of sin, at least not consciously. (But that’s a GD.) I guess 'ol Jack has no conception of the hell on earth that is losing a child. It’s bad enough to have to go through that, but for this asshole to preach that they’re in hell is unforgivable.

Sorry, Jack, but I’m going to ask you to ram this red-hot poker up your ass.

Robin

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[quote]
Oh Yeah, in case I get off track… screw you Chick, If your Halloween message was paper I’d use it to wipe my stinky posterior!

[quote]

What did your ass ever do to deserve being wiped with a Chick tract?