I seem to have somehow become the unofficial SDMB Keeper of the Chick Tracts, and here’s a new one for Halloween 2006: Here, Kitty Kitty! In this tract, which appears to have been drawn by special guest artist The Reanimated Corpse of Charles M. Schulz, a group of kids plan to cast a dark spell which somehow involves killing a cat to put a curse on their teacher. But Miss Johnson knows that Jesus will protect her!
I love the shot of Jesus waving goodbye to his Dad and jumping off of his cloud to go to Earth. Although for some reason he looks like Fu Manchu in the shot where he exits his tomb.
Also, a new “black tract:” Soul Sisters, an African-American version of 1996’s Best Friend. Apparently, God is a white man and Jesus is black- unless that black angel with a face who banishes Adam and Eve is also God.
Did Charles Schulz get resurrected… wrongly? Or maybe it was something like Brundlefly?
Whatever, the kids got off easy. Why weren’t they cast into the Fires of Hell immediately, like in other Chick tracts? An admonition to do your homework? :rolleyes: Why, back in my day Jack Chick sent millions to hell on a mere whim, why I remember when he condemned the entire Roman Catholic faith to Hell! Billions, I tells ya, billions! There was none of this modern, librul, namby-pamby whiny, sissy-boy “go do your homework and sin no more” crapola, nosirree, we were told that we would go straight to hell if we had but one transgression… and we were grateful!
But my question is, Miss Johnson says that the magic spell won’t work on her because Jesus is protecting her. So if she was some godless Jew or Muslim or Catholic, the magic spell would have worked? Meaning that magic does work, just not as good as the Jack Chick brand of Jesus power?
Reading through his tracts, I get the impression that Chick thinks black magic is real and powerful, though not as powerful as Christ of course. It probably could afflict Muslims, Mormons, Hindus, and the like.
Actually it reminds me more of the slogan for Scrubbing Bubbles® bathroom cleaner: “We work hard so you don’t have to!” Presumably, Jesus washes away sins as the Scrubbing Bubbles wash away dirt.
[Laurie Anderson] Did he fall, or was he pushed? [/LA]
Chick’s getting as soft and squishy as Nixon’s testicles in his old age. The Chick I grew up with would have damned all those kids to Hell for going trick-or-treating, much less for spell casting. I do not know this “new” Chick.
What a lame ending; here’s what should have happened:
-Runaway road tanker carrying liquid hydrogen should crashes through the fence, knocking down (but not killing) the three bad kids
-Betsy and fluffy are thrown clear, unharmed
-Tanker ruptures, venting supercooled liquids over the three bad kids, freezing them solid almost instantly (but slowly enough that they have time to cry “Noooooo!”)
-Hydrogen ignites; the explosion shatters the three bad kids into tiny shards, then consumes them in a huge fireball (Mrs Johnson looks on, exclaiming “Oh! The Humanity!”)
-Three bad kids appear before Faceless White God, yadda yadda, get tossed into the fires of hell.
Love it.