There's a new Jack Chick tract, and boy is it a doozy!

The BBQ Pit
1

Wow,

I’m the first one on this! Alright. I’m going to refrain from commenting at this moment, because I have homework to do and can’t be bothered to pick this apart right now.

Without further ado:

Your victim this evening

Go to town folks! I’ll be back later to see how it’s going, my only input will be this: I know only a little tiny bit about ancient Egyptian culture, and I still know enough to know that Chick has no fucking clue what he’s talking about when it comes to the ancient Egyptian Gods. Of course, he has no fucking clue what he’s talking about when it comes to his own god, so why should I be surprised?

LC

2

[beavis]Ms Crawford’s ass is sticking up when she’s grovelling behind the coffee table.

Ms Crawford’s got back.

hehe hehe[/beavis]

3

What a load of green baby shit.

First of all, religion is not prohibited in the public schools. Period. In fact, in world history class, we were studying world religions at the appropriate times. This included information on Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, and whoever else was appropriate. You can’t study history without a firm understanding of the world’s religions and their impact.

Second, the Bible is not a work of pure history, and except for the fundies, no religion I’ve ever come in contact with thinks so, either. The Bible is a work of literature and stories that were passed down orally through generations and was not written down for many centuries after the actual (if any) events took place. This being the case, it can’t be taken literally.

Finally, each of the ten plagues listed in Exodus can be explained with natural events. For example, it’s generally thought that the Nile turned to “blood” as a result of red tide, which turns the water poisonous. Each of the other 9 can be explained with a natural phenomenon as well.

Gotta love Jack Chick and his merry band of foaming-at-the-mouth fundies.

And a pre-emptive fuck you to any fundie who tries to get me to see the “error” of my ways.

Robin

4

The Bible is “the most proven book in ancient history”.

“Thank God I flunked Timmy!”

Huh?

Is it me, or is Jack getting more confused in every tract he writes?

Although he did write a good joke: “I will not tolerate intolerant people!”

5

Hehhehhe, best quote in the whole thing?
“But it’s true Miss Crawford. They even made a movie on it!”
hehehehe

6

Chick is really going off the deep end here.

First off, a kid does a HISTORY paper on the Ten Commandments? What the fuck?
2nd, every teacher I have ever had insists that you CLEAR the topic with him or her before you go on to do your project. That topic wouldn’t even clear, because it’s not history. Now, if say, Timmy wanted to do his report on something like that most teachers would help him find something related-say, the plight of the Israelites in ancient Egypt, perhaps? Or Jewish History back in that era? Such as King David (I THINK he existed, however, how much is myth and how much is true I’m not sure of). That would be MUCH more fascinating. Or he could do a report on the HISTORY of the Bible and the Ten Commandments. Um, hello? What the FUCK?

And most teachers who study history do study religion, because it plays such a large factor. We have a course over at La Roche-History and Development of Early Christianity, or something like that. They ENCOURAGE their students to learn about religion. In 10th grade world history, our last unit was on Judaism, Christianity and Islam. It wasn’t about whether you believe or not, but the history of such beliefs, what they consisted of, and how they shaped culture. No historian is going to cut out religious studies, because it’s such a HUGE part of culture and understanding certain aspects.

AND HE DOESN’T MENTION RA OR BAS-(Cat Goddess)!!!

And how the hell does taking home a PAPERCLIP make her a fucking thief? Jesus, most teachers take home school supplies-most STUDENTS do-it’s not theft-that is what they’re THERE FOR!!! You’re SUPPOSED to use them and take them home!!!
Maybe I should print this up and pass it around in class on Tuesday. I think Dr. Brett would laugh himself into a fucking hernia. Oh wait-he’s one of those EVIL CATHOLICS!!! :eek:
Oh criminy. Jack Chick doesn’t know jackshit about the Bible, either. If he did, he’d know more about Jewish history. He doesn’t know jackshit about teaching, or religion, or anything.

In short, Jack Chick must be Wildest Bill! OH my god! I’ll bet I’m right! He sounds JUST LIKE HIM!!! FUCK!!!

Jack Chick makes Baby Jesus hold his breath until he turns blue.
In conclusion to this thread, Guin’s head exploded

7

Lucki Chaarms, please don’t interpret this as an attack on you. I really don’t have a problem with this thread, per se, and if you wanna tear Mr. Chick a new one I’m not gonna stop you.

But I’m curious as to why we do this. Why do we seek out ignorance and bring it to these boards? It’s one thing if someone posted “I just received one of these Chick Tracts, could someone please explain the logical fallacies of it?”
But that’s not what’s happening here. What we’re doing is going out to find these things and bring them back to the boards. We may be tearing him to shreds, but we’re giving him a larger audience at the very same time.

8

Actually, Uncle Bob sounds like an interesting guy.

9

I mean, what else could Jack Chick do for a living?

And Ender,it’s not a good idea to further spread this inanity, I agree, but here, I doubt anyone is going to actually buy any of his shit. We won’t be “saving” anyone tonight.

b.

10

Ender, I started this thread because it is a time-honored SDMB tradition to tear up every Chick tract as soon as it is released, and I find it to be a lot of fun. People post all kinds of intensely ignorant shit in the Pit just to tear it up and be mildly or majorly pissed at it. This is a little different, because I think we all stopped being offended by Unca Jack a long time ago, so we just like to roll our eyes at him. Since I expect people to have some serious venom in relation to this tract, I posted in the Pit.

Also, as wierd as it is, I am what you might call a fan of Chick’s work. I am totally addicted, I have read every single tract, and a lot of his bizarrely homoerotic “Crusaders” comic books. It’s funny, and also just fun in some wierd way. I don’t agree with any teeny tiny shred of what is put in Chick’s widdle Jesus comics, but I still find reading them very entertaining. Therefore, I think I am a Chick fan, inasmuch as I obsessively check the site to see every tract within a few days of its release.

LC- Who is still waiting for the Wicca tract. Dammit Jack, will you get on the fucking ball and try and convert me? And make it a decent attempt so I have some fun tearing it apart.

11

Still no Wicca tract, but look at this shocking indictment of Harry Potter books! Can you believe that children would actually be so entranced by Satan as to say things like this?

The link on the website reads: “What kids say after reading Harry Potter (shocking!)”

Yeah, it really freaked me out Jack :slight_smile:

I mean kids saying evil Satanic things like:
[/quote]
“I want to go to wizard school and learn magic. I’d like to learn to use a wand to cast spells.” (Dylan, age 10)
[/quote]

Or Even

These were apparently among the most shocking they could find. Defense against the dark arts! Someone must save Carolyn age ten’s soul!

LC

12

So it’s better for kids to learn how to stone whores and fags, eh?

:rolleyes:
Chick must’ve had an extremely deprived childhood.

13

Another Chick fan checking in.

As I have said in another thread, Chick is one of my favorite unwilling comedians. I sometimes have a hard time realizing that he actually believes these things.

I mean, seriously, can you imagine someone being converted by a Chick Tract?:eek: If Chick is converting anyone, he is converting morons, to put it mildly. If Chick’s site disappeared from the web, I’d be really disappointed. Whenever I need a good laugh, I know I can go and read a couple of tracts at Chick.com.

14

Hahahahahaha…

Yes, those are the names of Egyptian gods.

But they had about, oh, say, a couple million? Not hard to find one to suit your purpose.

And Horus is the sun god while Amun-Re (yep, there’s the mention of Ra) is the god of the first born. God of the First Born???

It hurts. It really does.

15

The natural explanation to the Plagues is far from “generally” accepted. It’s all very tenuous, which no serious scientist (outside of the History Channel) would bet the farm on.

That said, this cartoon is fundamentalism at its wackiest. Even though I’m a non-believer, though, I don’t think it’s fair to rip the artist a new one for evangelizing what he sees as the word. I mean, even if you’re put off by evanglists, do you honestly think anyone will convert based on one of his hokey strips?

16

The best Chick Tract simply has to be “Dark Dungeons”. There’s not as much factual inaccuracies as some others, but the plot is top-of-the-line humor. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it’s funniest one for me so far.

17

One of my personal favorites is The Curse of Baphomet. It’s unbelievably loaded with wrong information. Incredible. Hilarious. :stuck_out_tongue:

18

Yeah… I should’ve posted a link too, so http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp.

19

I actually printed out the one on Liberation Theology* to show Dr. Brett once, since he is a.)a very devout Catholic; b.) a total leftist; c.) involved in Latin American studies; and d.) interested liberation theology. His opinion? Chick is just trying to make a buck off of stupidity, or some insane anti-religious dude trying to discredit Christians.

*Liberation theology is the idea that the Catholic church has a special duty to helping out the poor and oppressed-based mainly on the story of the rich man and the beggar Lazarus. For those of you who don’t know the story, Lazarus is a beggar and everyday he sits outside the rich man’s house. The rich man has these fantastic feasts everyday, and he never finishes them-he simply throws the food away. He’ll toss Lazarus a crumb every now and then. Both men die and the rich man goes to hell, Lazarus to Heaven, and the rich man wants to go back and warn his friends, blah blah blah. The point is, that the church has a duty to help the poor (and that those of us who are able should and MUST help those who don’t have anything-and that if we have the means to do so and ignore these people, we are wrong). Whether or not you agree with it, it’s NOT what Chick is talking about. sigh

20

Um. Interesting selection of gods you got there, Jack. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume they are all actual Egyptian gods, but the Lord sure went after some obscure ones there. If you wanted to show power over the gods of Egypt, wouldn’t you go after Osiris (who is, I believe, the incarnation of the dead Pharaoh) and Isis and Thoth and Bastet rather than, say, the frog goddess? LaurAnge already covered the Horus/Amun-Re mixup - I’m pretty sure Horus is associated with the sun, but not nearly so much as Amun-Re, and I’ve certainly never heard this “god of the firstborn” thing. And I know Imhotep is an Egyptian god, but god of medicine doesn’t sound right to me - anynone know?

And, um, “the most proven book in ancient history?” I mean, yes, there is historical evidence for plenty of Biblical events, but even granting that everything Jack Chick considers evidence is true, the most proven book…?