Because it’s fun and oh-so-easy.
As far as I can tell, that’s the long and the short of it.
Heh. That amused me too. I mean, was Jack trying to be ironic there, or what?
Re “Dark Dungeons” – as someone pointed out to me, there’s actually a huge factual inaccuracy in there: it’s a gaming group with no guys! 
Guin, I’d never seen the Liberation Theology tract. Yeesh. (Now there’s this voice in my head singing “Blame the Vatican!” to the tune of “Blame Canada.” Thanks a lot. ;))
This is priceless. God hates the Obelisk. I’m pissing my pants. Stop, dammit, stop.
B.
Shouldn’t this tract http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp be considered illegal since it incites hatred against Muslims?
king of spain, this one’s for you…
Imhotep was an architect & courtier, designer & builder of the first pyramid at Saqqara, which led to his deification & adoption as a son of Ptah. He was revered as a god of learning, knowledge and healing, so he has that right. But he was usually portrayed seated, with a shaven head, like that of a priest and with a scroll on his lap to indicate knowledge.
Hapi is the nile god. Heket or Heqt would be a reasonable spelling, I guess, is a frog goddess - but goddess of childbirth, creation & grain germination, she did often take the form of a frog or frog headed woamn, but she’d be more appropriate for the child thing.
I think Seb is Sepa in my main resource - a protective centipede god from Heliopolis, he had the power to prevent snakebites. It could be the same god with slightly expanded powers. Personally, I didn’t think lice or flies came out of the ground (flying anyone? Airborn? Unless, JackChick wants to go back to the time when people thought life arose spontaneously from dirt, and since only god can create… :rolleyes: ). It could be meant to be Geb, as Geb was Nut’s consort. Wish he’d make up his mind which names he’s using & spell them right. Geb is an earth god, and it’s unusual for the earth to be thought of as male & the sky as female in ancient cultures. Sometimes shown as green coloured & ithyphallic! He isn’t listed as protecting against things from the ground in my source, but I haven’t checked any of my other books (I like mythology, does it show? ;))
Imhotep I’ve covered.
Hathor sky-cow-goddess, mother goddess. She could also be represented with a lion head or a snake or a sycamore. Main aspect is mother goddess or as Sekhmet when she nearly wiped out mankind. She’d so much better have been the first born pick that it’s just untrue.
Nut - sky goddess. Like all sky goddesses, she could assume the form of the sacred cow. Swallowed the sun every evening & gavebirth to it at dawn. Could have used her for the cow plague or even the darkness one. It’s like throwing darts at a board when every target is a bull - you can’t get a bad score.
Horus - Falcon headed, sun god. Many aspects, child, adult, avenger, sign of kingship, but mostly sungod, including an aspect called Harakhty, Horus of the horizon, specifially a sungod. He was a state god at Memphis after the unification of the two Lands, but he merged with many other gods & took on some of their attributes.
Amun/Amon/Ammon/Amen - supreme creator god, merged wth Re or Ra later. I see no mention in either god’s powers of a link to the first born, but there is a vague mention of “his fertility & regenerative powers could range from the sexual to the agricultural” for Amon. It is possible, but a rather vague link. By the time of the 18th Dynasty, he had been linked with Re & was patron of the pharoahs & chief god of Egypt. re also merges with Osiris & a few other gods & takes on lots of forms because of it, but did become supreme solar deity after the 18th dynasty. Poor Horus, thrown over for a younger god… ;). He created mankind from his tears & then ordered them all killed whent hey became too troublesome. Really going to be the sort of guy you want as protector of your fist born…
Seriously, apart from a few fairly major spelling errors, & the whole first born thing, he’s lined them up quite nicely. Although, as someone else said, it would be hard not to, there were so many of them.
Re the accusation of why not pick on their major gods, well, they were. And if there had been a plague of cats, then you could have said Bastet had been challenged, or a lunar eclipse & that Isis was. He has to work with the material he’s given ;). He’s actually been quite creative here, which is unusual. Everyone else has already picked holes in the term paper topic, or that pointed out that religion would be taught in history (I find it hard to believe that a history teacher would be quite that ignorant of history & gullible, but I guess ignorance & gullibility go hand in hand).
Sorry if this is too polite & informative for the pit, I’ll try harder next time… ;).
do a link to “dark dungeons” please.
“Jesus told Moses…”?
Wasn’t Moses waayyyy before Jesus’s time? Anybody know?
It’s that whole Trinity thing.
A plague of cats would be DAMN sucky. I love my cats, but imagine the destruction! If they were all like my Buffy! (Much as I love her to death, she’s such a bad baby!)
That has a little tiny piece of an anti-wicca tract, but it’s not full-on. More anti-rpg.
It’s also really funny. Totally over-the-top.
LC
- Rick
I’d have to say this is one of the most disappointing and pissweak Chick tracts I’ve read. I mean all that happens is a secular teacher hears a bible story and immediately believes every word is historically accurate and is instantly converted to Christianity. How pathetic is that? Where’s the lies? The distortions? The half-truths? The demonic leering evil wild eyed portrayal of the non-christian? The teacher barely looks even slightly miffed! Where’s her horns and forked tail?
Nah, I’m disappointed.
Thanks for the link to the Dark Dungeons tract.
:collapses in helpless laughter:
Did anyone click on the link at the bottom of that tract? The one about the evils of D & D. I’m so glad I did; I never realised before now that D & D contains “authentic magical rituals”.
Oh goodie! This means I can raise the dead just by saying “my characters casts a “raise the dead” spell.” And here I was mucking about with eye of newt…
:giggle jag continues:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 
I laughed my fucking arse off reading that shite!
What i’d love to see is Jack Chick and Rev Fred Phelps work on a project together.
You know, maybe the Taliban aren’t such radical loonies after all …
The D&D tract was great- I wonder if I’m going to hell for playing God with my Sims. Hmmm…maybe I’ll put a bug in Jacks ear and see if he’ll make me a tract for it.
“Zette used to lock her Sims in tiny rooms with no toilet or food until they died. Sometimes she set the house on fire. ON PURPOSE! Then she found Jesus Christ and stopped being such a sinning gamer.”
<Mind Controlled>
IM-HO-TEP!!!
IM-HO-TEP!!!
IM-HO-TEP!!!
IM-HO-TEP!!!
IM-HO-TEP!!!
</Mind Controlled>
Oh, and after a moment’s thought…
I saw what I thought would be a MUCH better Evangelical marketing piece this weekend.
On the signboard in front of a church:
“If you don’t believe in God you better be right.”
That appeals to my businessman’s heart. Fear, reward…it’s all there. A little weak on the call to action but the space is limited.
Lets just get Jack and Texe Marrs together…
Count me as one of mnay (but no one else on the sdmb) who thinks Harry Potter is intended to teach children witchcraft. And yes, i won’t let my son read it.
BTW, did the teacher UNflunk the boy then?
So, did you actually read any of the books? I feel sorry for your son.
Of COURSE Harry Potter is meant to teach children witchcraft, just like the Chronicles of Narnia are meant to teach children that there are nice friendly lions they should pet.