He he, this is funny. Having read all four Harry Potter books, I’m now ready to cast spells and I wasn’t even aware of it. Or maybe I now know all the nuances of the Wiccan religion. Can I claim to be an authority on witchcraft now?
Bibbity bobbity boo!
Abracadrabra!
Alakazam!
So, how many Dopers have been turned into frogs? I’m new at this, so I’m not aware of my own strength.
Ribb-it
I’m starting to think that most of the “hits” to Jack’s website are Dopers there for a good laugh.
One startling omission from this new Chick Tract is that nowhere in it, at any point, does someone say “HAW! HAW!”
How could such a glaring oversight have been allowed to make it into print unnoticed? It’s like a James Bond movie with no visit to Q’s workshop.
Nee-deep. Nee-deep. Nee-deep in shit.
Oops… Make that “Nee-deep in tracts”.
Know thy enemy…
Agents Provocateur? It’s possible… I like the crafty huckster idea myself. There’s something… elegant… to the idea of a really slick con whereby people (Chick groupies) fleece themselves. It’s like judo: He uses their own stupidity against them.
Anyone else notice the Vulcan among the Egyptians laughing at Moses? He even has the raised eyebrow!
I couldn’t help but think of this while reading this thread.
As to the tract, did anyone else notice that in the early panels, when she is still an evil intolerant secularist, that Ms. Crawford looks distinctively oriental? And that as she sees the light she becomes more and more occidental?
Ya gotta love Chick, maximum ignorance in minimum space.
Oh no! She has discovered the secret global conspiracy headed by Queen Rowling to corrupt children with real witchcraft! We need to kill her by running her over with flying broomsticks! Because we all know that children cannot distinguish fantasy from reality!
So explain why it is intended to teach witchcraft. By forbidding kids to do something, they will want to do it even more.
Y’know I went to ask her about that, and she turned me into a newt!
[sub]I got better…[/sub]
I just LOVED it!! I kept reading, waiting for the punch line. It never came. Mid-way through, it occurred to me that this might be ‘serious’. And even at the end (not ever having been on that site), I thought the whole thing might have been a parody, in a series of parodies. I mean, what would you expect from ‘chick.com’?). It’s only when I reached the bottom of the page, with the additional sermonizing, that I realized that this was serious stuff. Lucki, you’ve made my day. I’ll be watching for new ‘installments’ with bated breath.
vanilla, have you read the Potter books?
Magic in these books consists to pointing a wand and yelling something in garbled Latin, or else mixing fantastic incredients in a pot. It’s not an accurate portrayal of magic as practiced by Wiccans, Satanists (note the difference), Hindu fakirs, Christian miracle-workers, Jewish Kabbalists, or anyone else. Nor is it intended to be. It’s a bloody fantasy. And a darn good one.
The only reference to any kind of theology is a vaguely Christian one: Hogwarts celebrates Christmas and Easter. The books can even satisfy sceptics! They take a dim view on fortune-telling and there’s a rational explanation why we don’t see wizards up and down the street. Read 'em yourself, they’re good.
I take it then, that Jumanji isn’t a movie that you and your family will be renting. I met somebody who told me that all the “chants” said in the movie while playing the game are designed to get the attention of Satan.
that “witch” in the dark dungeon tract kinda gets me hot!
:rolleyes:
YEp, nothing like fighting ignorance…
All those Shriners in weird hats and tiny cars are, of course, driving in patterns which are ritual invocations of Satan!
On a serious note, the thing I find funniest in the Baphomet tract is the assumption that all Masons are Christians. The condo my folks live in is teeming with high level Masons, all of them Jewish.
“When you took that oath, you turned your back on Jesus!”
“Oy gevault! I turned my back on Jesus! Oh, the unspeakable horror of it all! I must go home and tell my wife! She could use a good laugh like this.”
I’d also like to point out the discrepancy between “Love The Jews” and the classic “Where’s Rabbi Waxman”. To wit-Love the Jews. God protects the Jews. But all Jews who die without accepting Jesus go to Hell.
Jack's work should carry a warning-Contains bizarre and convoluted logic, attempting to understand this may cause your head to explodeHeh. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.
Anyway, FTR for those interested, to adress a bit of the “history”, the tract says:
From a somewhat less biased source (Encarta Encyclopedia):
Yes, I do feel a bit silly pointing out inaccuracies in such an obviously skewed and false piece of propaganda, but the OP did imply he was interested in some actual historical enlightenment regarding the tract. So there.
…I was completely expecting Jack Chick to do a tract on why the 9/11 terrorist attacks were the results of Americans banning God from schools and embracing New Age ideals and taking the Lord’s name in vain, so the crazed followers of the false Moon God of Islam could strike our country and break our spirit. Jack’s definitely losing it.
As for Dark Dungeons, I’m still wondering which AD&D spellbook I need to buy to find the instructions for doing “real magic”. It’d probably help if I wasn’t actually playing Paranoia instead. 
A couple of factoids
Rabbi Waxman was changed at some point. There was a panel where Rabbi Waxman was in Hell. I can’t document this, but I distinctly remember being shocked and amused by it.
Rabbi Waxman was based on a real person. When I get home, I’ll check my info, but apparently the “inspiration” for Rabbi Waxman was a very liberal, Reform Rabbi out of California who Chick hated!
Fenris
ohh, boy. i knew i’da done good when i asked for that thar link!
hey, when someone does find the D&D spellbook that has real spells in it, i’d love it if they sent me a copy. i would much prefer to blow shit up with Fireball rather than just melt holes in rocks with thermite. not to dis thermite, or anything…
Erm…amused because Chick’s idea of Hell involved being poked by cute l’il devils with tiny pitchforks. Despite my disgust, it was a bizarre panel.