Hey, look! A new Chick Tract is out! And it’s about evolution!
It’s an instant classic. It’s everything a Chick tract is known for- the quiet, honest, believer; the hateful, spiteful non-believer; the quick dismissal of all contrary evidence as “lies” with a single cite to a book Chick also publishes; the re-telling of the Biblical story with an emphasis on absolute literalness, no matter how convoluted; mockery of other belief systems (“There is no Mother Earth, Janet. It’s all God’s, and he can do with it as he pleases.”); the instant conversion of the heathen simply because someone was willing to read some Bible passages to them.
Sigh. I swear, if anyone is the epitome of the anti-Cecil, spreading ignorance and misinformation as much as possible, it is Mr. Chick. Congrats on yet another fine example of your work.
C’mon!! Are you saying that you don’t believe that before the Flood, 900-year-old people rode dinosaurs around Venice Beach?? Get with it man!! Throw your sobbing self onto the floor like Janet did . . . before it’s too late!!
Gotta love that picture of the child riding a pet triceratops.In addition, Chick uses Kent Hovind as an authority on evolution! It’s a wonderful example of what Ben called “fundie porn” in another thread; the fantasy that the egghead scientists are misled fools and a quick dose of Scripture will upset all their false knowledge and bring them to the Lord.
“Seashells on the tops of mountains”??
AAARRRRRGGGHH!!! Bangs head against wall
I think Jack Chick must secretly be one of us Godless Evolutionists; this piece seems to be more of a caricature of the Fundamentalist POV than an actual attempt to convince anyone.
450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 40 feet tall is enough room for 50,000 animals with room to spare? Ya…right.
So then how come the dinosaurs didn’t make the cut? I mean, there’s a stegosaurus and pterodactyl. Where they wicked too?
Ring of water creating a hot house effect? ‘Scuse me while I mentally run through 8 years of Jewish Day School. Nope, sorry. What the fuck are you talking about?
According to the Bible, Noah lived somewhere around 10-20 generations after Adam and Eve. Remember Adam and Eve? God’s wrath. Naked people. 20 generations later we had an advanced civilization?
Damnit, Janet. You’re such a gullible schmuck.
Oh, my heavens, that was WONDERFUL. I think I am going to use the 900-year-old riding a dinosaur as my New Year’s card this year . . .
Poor Janet. Now that she’s not an evil godless heathen, she will no doubt drop out of that awful lying college and stop bleaching her hair like a harlot.
like all the white people
noah and the narrator are particularly good lookin devils
all the bad people are ugly
like to meet that chick janet - putty in my hands
like to fuck that chick jack right up the ass after i get a pentagram tattooed on my cock.
And what’s with the grumpy cyclops guy? I mean, how did sin corrupt this dude so much that a freakin’ EYE appeared on his forehead?!?!? (FWIW, I think the pirate with the patch and the earring in the bottom of the picture is kinda hot.)
I think this Jack Chick might be my new favorite lunchtime sport!
I don’t know. Usually, there’s some sort of argument in a Chick Tract. Some sort of back and forth, where the Eeee-Vile Godless Heathen defends their beliefs, before the Saintly Hero shuts them down. This time, the only defense Janet gave was the comment about Mother Earth. It just seemed lacking. No real vitrol. On the other hand, we got Evil Sumerians, Dinosaurs on the Ark, and Kent Hovind, which saves it from utter mediocrity.
I give it a 7.5 out of ten. Where’s the bile, the venom? It’s just not the same.
It’s good, but I still like the other evolution one, the one with the ranting professor, better.
On a side note, the loading time there seems longer than the loading time here. Is that reason for concern, or do they just have a bad server?
Sigh. Geez, don’t you people EVER read your Hovind?
There were dinosaurs on the boat, but they all died out after the flood. With the Great Godly Vapor Canopy [sup]TM[/sup] dissipated, the earth became cooler and more open to harmful stellar radiation. This caused the dinos to die and humans to have much shorter lifespans.
IT’S ALL THERE IN THE BOOK!! REPENT NOW!!!
[sub]This post sponsored by the Great Godly Vapor Canopy Company of Walla Walla, Washington–Serving all your Great Godly Vapor Canopy needs since 2400 BCE[/sub]
