Best way to get a girlfriend

[curious george]

Someone started a thread here called: Best way to lose a girlfriend. I would rather know the "Best way to get a girlfriend". What are your suggestion for finding (picking up, meeting, ...) good women?

[BunnyGirl]

Be friendly. I've found in my own experience that the harder I looked, the more desperate I became and the more trouble I got into. The best relationships I had were the ones that developed out of friendships.

[Diane]

Someone started a thread here called: Best way to lose a girlfriend. I would rather know the "Best way to get a girlfriend". What are your suggestion for finding (picking up, meeting, ...) good women?

All the GOOD women are right here on the SDMB.

------------------
>^,,^<
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

[Doctor Jackson]

You need the following:

1. Dashing good looks
2. Charming manners
3. A penchant for sincere flattery
4. An easy sense of humor
5. A huge wad of money

NOTE: Items 1-4 are optional (or at least negotiable).

------------------
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

[Pete]

Do not use any corny pick-up lines like "So what time do you have to be back in heaven?"

And especially don't use sick ones like "That dress is mighty becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

or "Hey, you wanna see something swell?"

gee, I seem to know a lot of these. I should start a new thread.

But I've never used them, and I've done pretty well so far.

[Byzantine]

Join a club! No, not meant as a rip! Join a club of people who have similar interests to yours. I have a book club a workout club and a Scottish culture club (because, "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!) You get a chance to get to know people and know that a least you have one thing in common to talk about on a date. Also, volunteer; it's a great way to meet caring people.

------------------
You can count the number of apples in one tree but never the number of trees in one apple.

[cmkeller]

Let friends know you're looking. Seriously, if you're looking for someone with whom to have a mutual good time (and possibly life together), how better to set it up than to have people who know you and know the girl think about the fact that the two of you would go well together? Certainly much less random than going to a bar.

------------------
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@schicktech.com

"Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks."
-- Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

[Jahender]

Before I was married, I joined this Sport and Singles club and there were lovely maidens galore.

But the key to meeting women is: making eye contact and having the nerve to talk to complete strangers, oh, and by the way, being a gentleman doesn't hurt your cause either.

[Drain Bead]

Let's see. I go for men with sincerity, a sense of humor, and a talent for cunnilingus. The first two have to be innate, and the third can be learned.

And I generally hate "good-looking" men, in the sense that everyone else thinks they're good-looking too. I much prefer a tall, cute, goofy-looking man with looks that have character, rather than those cookie-cutter frat boy Abercrombie & Fitch model looks.

[Shirley Ujest]

Get a puppy and take it for a walk. Nothing attracts the opposite sex like cute wittle puppies.

(Babies are the same way, but for men only. Women flock to my husband to see the cute wittle baby he's holding. What do I get, gray haired grannies lecturing me one easy I have it because of disposable diapers and epidurals.....it ain't fair.)

That and having confidence in yourself of who you are and where you are going and what you want to do in life. <therapy buzz word alert> When you like yourself, others will like you too. Awwwwww...group hug!

[Jodi]

And don't try too hard. Few people of either sex like people who are radiating desperation. Be nice and relaxed and interested -- but you can't breathe for her and she won't appreciate it if you try.

So saith the voice of (recent) experience.

[Byzantine]

Shirley Ujest I just have to say that you totally crack me up! HUG! And the puppy idea is great, that's how I met one of my lovers!

[wireless]

Don't be afraid to just *talk* to us (girls/women, depending on your age). Doesn't have to be hugely witty or anything, just a nice conversation about whatever. (This is why the puppy works so well. Could also be the name of a good Thai restaurant, how many miles is this loop around the park, etc.) No obvious skammin'. Don't try too hard. Can be with women you encounter anywhere, but especially in the most ordinary, everyday places. (Then it's likely she lives/works/plays where you do.) Now that I'm dating in my 30's, it seems everyone is so skittish about even something as simple as talking. But you've got to start somewhere, and an ordinary conversation is, to my mind, a good starting place. Then see where it goes. If she’s receptive (i.e. she talks with you, doesn’t run for the hills), then don’t be afraid to ask her to do something (cup of coffee is a standard, but that’s because it’s quick, neutral, not a big commitment, so it works). Or ask if she’ll be in the same place (the park/gym/laundromat) again tomorrow/next Tuesday, etc., when you can meet/talk again. If you're givin' her the willies, you can probably tell and just move on, no harm done. Even if she doesn’t want to get to know you better, she’ll likely be flattered you made the effort.

And yes, all of the above works for women taking the initiative to talk to men they meet, too.

[Sassy]

My experience - think of all encounters as opportunities to practice your skills at interacting. Funny thing... because you are practicing, you are more relaxed. Often enough what you thought of as practice turns out to be a real chance -- and you don't blow it by being too tense or skittish.

------------------
The reason gentlemen prefer blondes is that there are not enough redheads to go around.

[Rich Barr]

The two ways to get a girlfriend are:

1--Be good looking (a matter of individual taste up to a point, but ONLY up to a point).

2--Have money and/or power (relative up to a point).

If you have neither 1 nor 2 you will find that women will be friends with you, but they'll always have good logical reasons for not being anything more. In that case, you are best off forgetting about the whole thing and watching the History Channel a lot.

Cynical? Me? Nonsense....

------------------
Rich Barr
massivemaple@hotmail.com
AOL Instant Messenger: Hrttannl

[Contestant #3]

The absolute most surefire way to get as many girlfriends as you can handle is to get married first.

Being a married man increases your desirablity ten fold.

...P.S. I'm only half kidding

------------------
Contestant #3

[middsy]

Assuming you're a geezer, a whacking gert tadger is always good to have!

[Jodi]

Aren't Whacking Gert Tadgers on the Endangered Species List?

[middsy]

jodh-

In my pants, yes unfortunately!

[DoctorJ]

Mail order.

[BunnyGirl]

whacking gert tadger

Isn't this illegal? I'm sure Gert doesn't appreciate it!

[SpidyReb]

I have to back up Cmkeller here. He has it right on. I'm dating an absolutely incredible woman, and I met her through my best friend. The thing is that on the surface she is a person I never would have tried to ask out. She just didn't seem like my type. I couldn't have been more wrong. Who better to find someone for you than the people who know you best. Sometimes they see things you may not see, and know you better than you know yourself. Above all be patient. I know it's cliche, but the right person is out there. If I can be this lucky, I know you can be too.

------------------
Any magician can pull a rabbit out of a hat, show me one who can pull a hat out of a rabbit and I'll believe.

[Shirley Ujest]

I have to agree with Contestant #3 statement of " being married increases your appeal tenfold."

When I was single...ummm it's hazy...but I seem to recall not ever having a real problem after the age of 19 of dates and attracting a man's eye. Then I became engaged and I swear that really cute guys suddenly found me appealing. My girlfriend, recently married at this time said, "Wait until you are married, it's like a truck load of Mel Gibson's want you." I laughed, but DAMN, after the wedding it was the Diet Coke guy and Mel Gibson's coming on to me.

Sadly, it fades.

[bantmof]

Nothing attracts the opposite sex like cute wittle puppies.

Aye, there's the problem. I'm a cat dude. All the Knockout Babes(tm) I meet are dog people.

In fact, that's kinda weird. Guys stereotypically like dogs. Women stereotypically like cats. But among my male friends, most prefer cats, and among my female friends, most prefer dogs. Go figure!

--
peas on earth

[handy]

"best relationships I had were the ones that developed out of
friendships."

Oh, no, not into the friendship zone...ack

So how does a deaf guy get so many girls? Easy, they want to learn sign language and one thing leads to another.

For ya, pardon my french, severely-able body types, get a cute puppy. Instant girl attractant.

[timmar68]

Looks don't have to count, guys. The last guy I went out with wasn't, shall we say, "my type". But he won me over.
It was a customer. While I was cutting his hair, he turned on the charm. He also asked me a lot of questions about myself (including asking what my favorite flower is).
The next day at work, i got a flower delivered to me from him and it was my favorite flower! He wrote on the card, "Thanks for a great haircut!" and I was supposed to look at the tip he left me. It turned out he wrote his phone number on the money!
His charm won me over. We started dating. He always had a compliment for me everyday. It was great. Too bad the relationship didn't last. My point? Be charming! It works for me!

------------------
MaryAnn
Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

[Mac]

Dont try at all. Any relationship that ever worked for me was spontainious. My wife and I have been married for 9 1/2 years now. She was my ex-girlfriend's friends sister. We were friends for a while and one thing led to another. End of story (not yet)!

[Byzantine]

I have three cats and one dog... does that make me bi?

[Imthecowgodmoo]

so if you did it with a cow, would that make you a tri-sexual?

[DoctorJ]

I remember reading one of those "How I Met Mr. Right" stories in Cosmo a few years ago. This woman was at a club, and this dashing young man just walked up behind her, put his arm around her waist, kissed her on the neck, and walked off. "Needless to say," she said, "I was intrigued!" She went after him, and the rest is obvious.

If I did that to a woman in a club, she would come try to find me--so she could slap the piss out of me. I wonder how many guys tried that in clubs the weekend after that issue was published. They should probably sue Cosmo to recover their doctor bills.

Dr. J

PS: What was I doing reading Cosmo, you ask? A college roomate got me into it. We actually subscribed. His theory was that Cosmo says nothing about what women are really like, but we should at least know what they're being told they're like.

[Persephone]

Be yourself. And hopefully being nice is part of being yourself Believe it or not, being a nice guy is not the "kiss of death," as I've heard so many men call it. And if a woman brushes you off, don't get all hostile with her. Just leave her alone, and try someone else. If she's going to be jerky enough to brush off a nice guy, she's not worth any of your time.

[Diane]

Aye, there's the problem. I'm a cat dude. All the Knockout Babes(tm) I
meet are dog people.
In fact, that's kinda weird. Guys stereotypically like dogs. Women
stereotypically like cats. But among my male friends, most prefer cats,
and among my female friends, most prefer dogs. Go figure!

There is something irresistable about a cat-guy.

Although looks shouldn't matter, they do. Not to say that only the gorgeous people are getting dates - the don't, but there needs to be a physical attraction between partners.

Granted, we all have different tastes and everyone is beautiful or gorgeous to someone, but relationships without physical attraction are basically friendship only. Isn't it nice that we don't all find the exact same traits attractive?

To attract me, I must find you appealing to the eye (my definition, no one elses), have great confidence (I love a guy who is sure of himself and is maybe a little egomanical), has great ambition (job titles don't matter to me, but I am attracted to guys who believe in bettering their lifestyle and not settling as a Manager at McDonalds), and has a great sense of humor.

Top this all off with an acceptance of my kids and understanding my responsibilities, and you will win me over.

Oh yeah, as I said, there is a certain attraction to cat-guys.



------------------
&gt;^,,^&lt;
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

[Rich Hall]

What was that country song with the line "you know me better than that" repeated after each verse. Well, the new girl friend thinks this guy likes her cats.

Hey, what happened to sep, oct..nov ?

[tomndebb]

Hey, Rich, I had to live through September and October, one day at a time. If you've found a time warp to avoid that sort of thing, I don't want to see you whining about it.

[MadPoet]

Okay, I need an opinion from the ladies here. I'm not too adept at this whole social thing, so any dates I do get tend to be because of my devastating good looks rather than any social charm. But a while ago I met this girl online, and when I met her she turned out to be absolutely gorgeous. (Unsettling me greatly, it was bad enough meeting a stranger, but a beautiful stranger had me speechless..) I guessed that the date went well enough, given the fact that I managed a goodbye kiss, so when I wrote her the next morning, I ended it with a short poem I wrote for her. When I told a close (platonic) girlfriend about it, she went off at how stupid I was for blowing it ike that.. how the girl was gonna freak out at me being too fast and such. So I paniced, and haven't talked to her since. So the question would be, if a guy you'd only been out with once wrote you poetry, would you be flattered or scared? And while I'm at it, what about roses?

------------------
http://www.madpoet.com
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

[sunbear]

Yeah, may be too fast. Go to her house and do some handyman work first.Or whaterver you can think of.You might try some less romantic activities to get to know this person. The poetry can come later.

[Satan]

You could have mine...

------------------
Yer pal,
Satan

[Torgo]

Rule #1: DON'T GO TO BARS TO MEET WOMEN. Why? Because right off the bat you know two things about them:

1. They like to drink.
2. They're desperate enough to go to a bar to meet men.

Besides, talk to any couple you know married for a decent amount of time. Did they meet in a bar? Odds are they didn't.

Try other places; bookstores, coffee shops, walking around a lake (that puppy/baby idea is GOLD, JERRY! GOLD!!), public readings or lectures, museums, etc. And don't try too hard. Stay mellow and you'll find your own little sweetcakes.

Rule #2: DON'T TRY TO MEET WOMEN ON THE INTERNET

I don't care how many freaking witty and compassionate e-mails you guys exchange, I don't give a rat's ass how intelligent her postings on the "Doctor Who" message board are, you will NOT get to know her this way. NOTHING substitutes for good old-fashioned face to face communication. Besides, this way you can stare at her breasts when she's not looking.

Hope this helps!

------------------
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

[sunbear]

If you are a sports fan, meeting at a sports bar might be OK.

[Kat]

What was that country song with the line "you know me better than that" repeated after each verse. Well, the new girl friend thinks this guy likes her cats.

George Stait, You Know Me Better Than That

[Gail]

Here is what would turn my head.
1. Be funny without being mean.
2. Be positive. I don't want to be drawn up into someone's problems.
3. Have a job.
4. Don't be a phony.
5. Find out if we have common interests--if we don't, don't think it will work out...we both need to move on so we can meet someone appropriate.
6. Be well-groomed.
7. Don't always steer the conversation toward yourself.


------------------
--Gail
"Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place." --John Cleese