I guess it’s some sort of Universal Irony since I told everyone (family, friends, etc.) about the pregnancy so soon, but unfortunately, I had a miscarriage last night.
I guess I was lucky. It could have been much worse. I had lower back-ache and some cramping (and of course the blood) but nothing more painful than a “bad” period. We talked to the doctor on call and since I was still so early in the pregnancy (7 weeks or 9 weeks depending on how you count) and since I wasn’t having overwhelming pain, he said I probably didn’t have to go back to the emergency room. Tomorrow morning is (was) my first appointment with the obstetrician so I guess I’ll find out then whether I still have to have a D&C and when things’ll normalize out and we can try again.
I can’t say I’m grieving, exactly, since it was so early. But I do feel a sense of loss. It happened so quickly (just like the pregnancy) that it doesn’t seem real yet (even though I’m still bleeding). I keep trying to remember that a miscarriage almost always means there was something wrong with the pregnancy.
So, I dunno - guess I just felt I wanted to say something since I’d shared the pregnancy with you. I suppose I need to stop all these pregnancy threads before I’m slapped with the dreaded “one-trick pony” label!
I’m really sorry about your miscarriage. The same thing happened to me a few weeks ago (at around 7 weeks) and I was miserable about it for a bit. I think it was easier to deal with since it was so early,
Thanks, corvidae and autz (I’m a former native of the Old Pueblo, by the way. I grew up there. Left for college in '86 and haven’t lived there since). I agree with you both - disappointment is exactly the right word and the fact that it was so early does make it easier. I’m sorry that you both have gone through the same experience -but I’m also glad I’m not alone.
I really do wish I hadn’t told everyone - but I know I couldn’t have done it any differently. My mother has always told me never to play poker and she’s right - it was such a huge all-consuming thing that Mr. Cricket and I just couldn’t keep it to ourselves.
It only took eight weeks the first time, so maybe it will be just as quick the next time (and viable).
Cricket (who is visiting Tucson in June and wonders how much more of the city she won’t recognize due to all the constant construction)
This is one time that I can tell someone that I know most of what they are feeling.
I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, told everyone very early, and lost the baby at about 7-9 weeks, just a couple days before my first OB appointment. I kept the appointment, and just having an exam and talking with the Dr. for a little while did wonders for my peace of mind. Sound familiar?
It does happen quite fast, all of it. You just get used to the fact that you’re going to have a baby, and then that all changes in a matter of a few hours. It all hit me pretty hard 3-4 days after it was all over with…I cried for a few hours non-stop, so hard that my husband called the Dr. The OB said that it’s possible for a little bit of hormonal uproar to happen in some women and to just ride it out and go with the flow, but if it lasts for more than a day or so to call her back.
The worst part for me was that I felt like a big fat liar…I felt like I had made this big, wonderful promise to all the people that I love the most, and then didn’t carry through. If there’s one thing my family does very well, it is makin’ babies.
Deej Yeah, that’s exactly it - I keep apologizing to everyone, not because it happened, but because I didn’t carry through on the promise. I hope my appointment with the ob tomorrow will bring me peace of mind as well. The similarity in our stories really is kinda freaky. Thanks.
autz believe me, even though it’s been 16+ years since I’ve lived in Tucson I have NOT forgotten what it’s like in June. I assure you it isn’t my choice to visit then - but that’s how the cookie crumbles. At least I won’t have to deal with the humidity of late summer and the monsoon season. I envy your trek to Colorado. Maybe I can escape to Mt. Lemmon for a day!
genie, Tsubaki and Margo thanks for your sympathies, I appreciate it. I am resting and taking care of myself. As soon as it’s safe, we’ll try again. As Mr. Cricket keeps saying, “it’s a tough job but someone has to do it…”
PS: If you have a spare moment while you’re in Tucson, let me know if you want to rustle up some Tucson area dopers and go do something! (I’m not in Tucson now, but I’m close enough to go there for a few hours.)
hug cricket… I had been thinking of you this week as I spent some time in your last thread. I really don’t know what to say except my heart goes out to you!
I’ve miscarried twice, also. I’m sure you are finding that it is very common, if not commonly mentioned.
Responses vary. Don’t be alarmed if it suddenly moves from disappointing to crushing, and your feelings shift back and forth from guilt to anger to whatever. The ‘I’m sorry’ thing is also very normal.
Take care, and good luck healing. I found a support forum for losses was very useful to my process - if you find yourself suffering and feeling alone, check them out. There are many of them.
Here’s hoping things get better soon.