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  #1  
Old 08-10-2003, 03:35 PM
Blalron Blalron is offline
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Women: How often do you get "horny"?

I'd like to get some idea of what the female sex drive is. Being a male, I'm rather clueless about such things, and the real life women I know are reticent about this. So I turn to the internet, hoping that the relative anonymity that this forums enjoys may elicit more forthcoming responses.

Ladies: how often do you desire sex? How often do you masturbate, if at all?
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  #2  
Old 08-10-2003, 03:47 PM
Shaolinrabbit Shaolinrabbit is offline
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I'm a man, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here. This is going to be sweet man.
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  #3  
Old 08-10-2003, 03:50 PM
Sylkyn Sylkyn is offline
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Hardly ever, much to my chagrin...and my husband's. It's not his fault, or mine either, to my knowledge. It started being this way about the time I had my hysterectomy, but it actually started a bit before that. It just got worse after that.

I think it might be something physical...maybe hormonal. I just know I'm tired of it.
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  #4  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:09 PM
fruitbat fruitbat is online now
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As a man I am really interested in hearing the answers you can give. It would also be helpful if you gave us an idea of how old you are. For some reason this seems to be a great area of mystery for men.

Women just know that men are horny pretty much all the time.
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  #5  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:13 PM
Sylkyn Sylkyn is offline
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I'm guessing you were asking the women to give their ages. If so, I am forty three. However, I had my surgery over eight years ago, and I guess the "horny factor" left about a year (maybe more) before that. In my case, I really don't think my age had anything to do with it. I have a couple of friends a good deal older than myself who seem to want sex all the time! (Lucky old bats!)

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  #6  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:21 PM
Lsura Lsura is offline
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Bear in mind that I'm not getting any, and haven't for a while, therefore my answers may be skewed. Oh, and I'm 29 (well, 30 in about a month).

I have different levels of horniness. There's the "oh, sex would be nice today" type as well as the "Oh my god, I am so horny I can barely stand to have clothing touching me" type.

The first type happens maybe 1-3 times a week. The second type, maybe twice a month, normally around ovulation - it's pretty much how I time my cycle.

Masturbation? Maybe...once or twice a month, but then other months, not at all.
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  #7  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:23 PM
Manda JO Manda JO is online now
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This may come as a real shocker, Blalron, but it varies so much that the question has about as much validity as "Women, what's your haircolor?" I'm not saying that it's wrong to ask the questions or that the answers won't be entertaining--I'm just saying that they will be useless if used to predict any woman other than the ones that post here.

All hope is not lost, however: when you are in an on-going sexual relationship, you'll find out about that woman in particular. But don't assume anything.
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  #8  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:24 PM
Whack-a-Mole Whack-a-Mole is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by fruitbat
Women just know that men are horny pretty much all the time.
I actually don't think the difference between men and women is that great when it comes to horniness. It depends on the individual and as you might suspect they are all across the board. I've known women who were totally disinterested in sex and others that were nymphos and most shades in between (if you graphed it you'd get a typical bell curve). I think men are just motivated more by sex. That is, it is more of a central theme to what we do (we work so we can make money to attract women so we can have sex, we shower so we can attract women so we can have sex, etc.). Women seem more likely to put it to the side and do whatever else needs doing and then get back to it but it certainly isn't forgotten for them.

Just my opinion...
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  #9  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:33 PM
tanookie tanookie is offline
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My hubby and I are both 30.

If I had my way I would have sex approximately every other day. We usually aren't that structured so we will have sex every day for three days and then take a couple of days off or some other variation.

Having a 2 year old and a baby on the way kind of messes with our ability to spend too much time alone and naked so we work to make the most of the time we do have.

I agree with MandaJo though that sex drive is not something that will be constant with all women or even with one woman over the course of her life. There was a time when I thought never having sex would probably be the best thing to happen for me.

And like Lsura sometimes it is a 'sex would be nice' kind of thing and other times it is the 'now now now now' kind of feeling. Both lead to a different quality of sex. I've dubbed the range 'generic sex' to 'wild monkey sex.' Those and everything in between have their places in my relationship. I'm afraid I don't have a graph for when and how often each occurs

As for masturbation, I don't really - if I'm feeling like I'd like an orgasm hubby is pretty much always happy to help. The ones he gives are preferable to the ones I can give myself.
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  #10  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:37 PM
Whack-a-Mole Whack-a-Mole is offline
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Sylkyn:

Just a thought but I've noticed that when I haven't gotten any for awhile my interest in sex decreases. I know I want it and will certainly take the opportunity whenever it arises but it does seem that my horniness frequency/severity decreases. When I di get back to it I then remember how much I missed it (taking care of yourself is all well and good but a partner makes things so much better...usually). I do not know you and I am not trying to say you should or should not do something but if it is a lack of sexual activity maybe dipping your toe back in the pool might rekindle the flame. Then again it might not...just a thought.
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  #11  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:42 PM
Olive, The Other Reindeer Olive, The Other Reindeer is offline
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Almost always - and almost never.

One of the advantages of a live-in BF
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  #12  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:53 PM
BornOfStardust BornOfStardust is offline
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This is an interesting thread. Honestly, I think that many women are horny just as much as or more than men. It has a lot to do with how aware of their own sexuality they are--society still has a long way to go with regards to accepting female sexuality, "Sex and the City" aside. And then there are those who, despite their best efforts, can't get horny, just like there are men who can't get it up. Shrug...

ANYWAY, I'm 19 and I'd say I get horny fairly frequently (and want sex a LOT more often than I can get it right now since my boyfriend and I aren't in the same state at the moment. ). Not sure "how often," but I will frequently masturbate once or more a day...sometimes there'll be a few days in between if I'm just not thinking about it much or am busy.
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  #13  
Old 08-10-2003, 04:56 PM
pepperlandgirl pepperlandgirl is offline
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I'm pretty much obsessed with sex....even when I'm not horny, I want it.
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  #14  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:05 PM
Whack-a-Mole Whack-a-Mole is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by BornOfStardust
ANYWAY, I'm 19 and I'd say I get horny fairly frequently
At 19 you're a walking hormone. It's not that teenagres don't count towards this but I think they seriously skew the stats (not that there really are any stats). Society has changed alot but biological programming has a long way yet to catch up. From mother nature's point of view the late teenage years are prime breeding years. I don't mean to peg sex with something so clinical but all that horniness does come from somewhere. Your BF at 19 can't even think straight for this very reason (your BF in math class -- a2[gawd I'm horny]+b2[gotta call BornOfStardust and beg her to come over]=c2[wonder if I can get her to bring along her girlfriend] ).

That said I say enjoy it! (With the usual caveats about being safe, etc.)
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  #15  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:17 PM
Amberlei Amberlei is offline
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I don't know, Whack. When I was 19, I didn't particularly care for sex. My thoughts were wrapped up in my son, work, paying bills, etc. etc. and I'd say that there were days at a time when I didn't think about sex at all. Not that I didn't have sex then, I just wasn't all that interested. Now, I'm 34, and I'm definitely more of a walking hormone now than I was then. Like some of the others have posted, there are days when I'm so horny it's hard to focus on anything else at all, and other days when it just sounds nice. I really do think sex drive varies with each individual throughout their life cycle.
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  #16  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:18 PM
kimera kimera is offline
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I've calmed down a bit now that I have a boyfriend. I'm 21 and a year ago when I was sexless, I used to masturbate between 3-8 times a day. Now I have sex/masturbation as much as I can. I am good with once a day, although sometimes I'd like a little more.
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  #17  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:29 PM
Whack-a-Mole Whack-a-Mole is offline
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Amberlei:

Sounds to me like you're making up for lost time or it's a sort of delayed effect. At 19 with the responsibilities you listed I'm not surprised sex was low on the list. It must have been nearly overwhelming. It seems you now have more of a chance to indulge some of your needs and you're taking advantage of it and that's great. Sounds like you deserve some play time.
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  #18  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:44 PM
Tusculan Tusculan is offline
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hey Blalron, i don't know if you've seen this other thread (Do you feel like you are the one who has to initiate sex in your relationship?), but you might find it interesting for the comments of women in it.
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  #19  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:44 PM
AngelicGemma AngelicGemma is offline
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A few times a week is enough to keep me happy, if not more. I'm 18, and in a long term relationship.
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  #20  
Old 08-10-2003, 05:48 PM
Tusculan Tusculan is offline
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And I Do Know How To Press The Shift Key.

i simply chose not to.
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  #21  
Old 08-10-2003, 07:32 PM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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Quote:
Your BF at 19 can't even think straight for this very reason (your BF in math class -- a2[gawd I'm horny]+b2[gotta call BornOfStardust and beg her to come over]=c2[wonder if I can get her to bring along her girlfriend] ).
Her boyfriend is 21, Whack-a-Mole, and has always been less hormonal than most guys. She'll tell you that he's still a demon in the sack, however.
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  #22  
Old 08-10-2003, 08:48 PM
irishajo irishajo is offline
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28. About every 20 minutes. But I'm single, that may be why.
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  #23  
Old 08-10-2003, 08:50 PM
irishajo irishajo is offline
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Oops, forgot one. Masturbate (usually) on a daily basis.
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  #24  
Old 08-10-2003, 08:52 PM
Elysian Elysian is offline
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Some days I'll just be bouncing along like normal and then my husband will kiss me on the back of the neck and I'll be like freeeeeeow (as the immortal Zaphod would say).

I guess I'm like most people, I'm always ready for it. "Sex? Here, now? Why, sure!"

And some days, and I don't know why, I will practically glow with the supressed sexual energy, like a firefly *blink blink blink*. Those are the days...

But if I'm feeling grouchy or irritable, or if I have been working in the basement or something, I will absolutely want NO ONE touching me. Not even myself! I have to be clean and sweet smelling to even get in the mood, and I can't be hungry or too tired.
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  #25  
Old 08-10-2003, 08:53 PM
Elysian Elysian is offline
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Ugh, I'm 26 and masturbate never-you-mind
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  #26  
Old 08-10-2003, 09:26 PM
Shaolinrabbit Shaolinrabbit is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Whack-a-Mole
At 19 you're a walking hormone. It's not that teenagres don't count towards this but I think they seriously skew the stats
Are you complaining because horny 19 year olds are posting? I, for one, find it very refreshing. Horny 19 year old girls post away!
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  #27  
Old 08-10-2003, 09:41 PM
Angel of the Lord Angel of the Lord is offline
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Horny: quite often. While I'm not "always on" anymore, I am willing and enthusiastic about sex 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time I'm either sick or just Not In The Mood(TM). It used to be that I was *always* in the mood unless I was near-dead. I think that having a serious boyfriend, though, has made that wane somewhat--if I'm ticked at him, then I'm probably not going to want to have sex. Sometimes I just want to play around, though... <g>.

Masturbation: Daily. There are a few exceptions: bad period days, tired, know I'm getting some in the morning, but otherwise, I do so almost as though it was part of my schedule.
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  #28  
Old 08-10-2003, 10:08 PM
SnoopyFan SnoopyFan is offline
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Female, married, 25. Libido of a rock. Once a week will do me, and even then it's not horniness to the point of immobility (that happens about every other month). DH, OTOH, would be happy with twice a day, every day.

I wonder if I've already hit my peak and it's all downhill from here. Not that I was getting laid when I was 18 but I sure did want to more than I do now.
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  #29  
Old 08-10-2003, 10:19 PM
if6was9 if6was9 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Elysian
Some days I'll just be bouncing along like normal and then my husband will kiss me on the back of the neck and I'll be like freeeeeeow (as the immortal Zaphod would say).

I guess I'm like most people, I'm always ready for it. "Sex? Here, now? Why, sure!"

And some days, and I don't know why, I will practically glow with the supressed sexual energy, like a firefly *blink blink blink*. Those are the days...

But if I'm feeling grouchy or irritable, or if I have been working in the basement or something, I will absolutely want NO ONE touching me. Not even myself! I have to be clean and sweet smelling to even get in the mood, and I can't be hungry or too tired.
I'm not picking on you Elysian, just an observation from a guy. All that is exactly why men don't understand women. Grouchy, irritable, working in the basement, dirty, hungry, tired, NONE of those things would make most men not be horny! Well, maybe tired but... I guess it must just be a hormonal thing.
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  #30  
Old 08-10-2003, 10:27 PM
tanookie tanookie is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by if6was9
I'm not picking on you Elysian, just an observation from a guy. All that is exactly why men don't understand women. Grouchy, irritable, working in the basement, dirty, hungry, tired, NONE of those things would make most men not be horny! Well, maybe tired but... I guess it must just be a hormonal thing.
I don't think it is necessarily a hormonal thing... I certainly wouldn't want sex if I was hot, tired, dirty and hungry - so turn on the ac and let me get some food and a shower and I might be more willing...

Hubby was out mowing the lawn and in this heat/humidity he was hot, tired, dirty and thirsty. He wanted no more than a shower, a cold drink and a chance to relax. If I had asked him for sex at that point he would have laughed at me and told me to talk to him after his shower.

I think it is a matter of comfort more than hormones.
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  #31  
Old 08-10-2003, 10:51 PM
ABBAJen ABBAJen is offline
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Age: 19

Horny: Like, almost constantly. Especially when I'm around my guy.

Masturbate: Every couple days

I've pretty much always been this horny. LOL.
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  #32  
Old 08-10-2003, 11:00 PM
chestnutmare chestnutmare is offline
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I am 27 and it has been more than a year since I've gotten any. I am horny most days although sometimes I manage to repress my hormones so that I can get on with life. Levels of horniness vary from "hmm I could use some skin on skin time" to "Can I please get fucked senseless? NOW!"

Masturbation tends to leave me feeling more frustrated than relaxed so I rarely bother although when the hormones are running at mach2 I might do something about it.
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  #33  
Old 08-10-2003, 11:10 PM
Yumanite Yumanite is offline
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Age -- 25.

'sex'd be nice' horny -- pretty much all the time
'wild monkey sex' horny -- about a week each month, sort of around my period.

Back when I was maybe 16 or so, I'd masturbate a lot (several times a day), but I don't think I was any hornier. I just had less stuff to do and no one to boink. These days it's every now and then, when I can't have real sex for some reason (which doesn't happen too often).
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  #34  
Old 08-10-2003, 11:14 PM
LauraLittlePony LauraLittlePony is offline
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I'm 19, will be 20 in November.

I get horny several times a day. Yessiree.

I masturbate about once a day. Sometimes I will abstain for a few days to increase the intensity for the next time, especially before seeing a, er, good friend of mine.
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  #35  
Old 08-10-2003, 11:41 PM
illuminette illuminette is offline
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Libido has skyrocketed since meeting someone who knows what the hell they are doing.

Ahhhhhh.......so nice to have a man, not a boy.

Find myself having naughty thoughts about said man.

Masturbate rather often.
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  #36  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:19 AM
BornOfStardust BornOfStardust is offline
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Quote:
At 19 you're a walking hormone. It's not that teenagres don't count towards this but I think they seriously skew the stats
Eh, point taken. =P And it's occuring to me that somehow when we 19-year-old women post about our horniness levels on here it comes out looking like the text of a spam email... =P Here's something to think about though. There are a LOT of girls out there who are my age and older (and some twice my age and older) who have never experienced an orgasm and have never tried to get themselves off. I think that's sad! I mean, how many adolescent males do you think there are out there who have never tried to choke the ol' poultry? And I don't think it's always a lack of horniness so much as a general repression and lack of knowledge about it. With guys, it's easy...it's all hanging out right there in front of you. With girls, you have to explore a little more, and some find that extremely scary and don't understand that it's a beautiful, healthy, natural thing.

And yes...
Quote:
Her boyfriend is 21, Whack-a-Mole, and has always been less hormonal than most guys. She'll tell you that he's still a demon in the sack, however.
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  #37  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:33 AM
illuminette illuminette is offline
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yes, my sultry sister..... you are so very right.

I am a firm beleiver in sex education not only from a health standpoint, but as an acquired life skill.
If I had known how to masturbate effectively as a teenager, I think I would have been a lot happier....at least more laid back.
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  #38  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:35 AM
CanvasShoes CanvasShoes is offline
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I've had a high sex drive since my first "real" boyfriend (when I was 18) taught me what sex was "REALLY" supposed to feel like.

With a decently talented partner, I'll want sex at least 3 times a week. Usually more.

I'm 44. And it, (the sex drive), is showing no signs of diminishing.
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  #39  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:38 AM
CanvasShoes CanvasShoes is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Whack-a-Mole
Sylkyn:

Just a thought but I've noticed that when I haven't gotten any for awhile my interest in sex decreases. I know I want it and will certainly take the opportunity whenever it arises but it does seem that my horniness frequency/severity decreases. When I di get back to it I then remember how much I missed it (taking care of yourself is all well and good but a partner makes things so much better...usually). I do not know you and I am not trying to say you should or should not do something but if it is a lack of sexual activity maybe dipping your toe back in the pool might rekindle the flame. Then again it might not...just a thought.
Same thing happens to me. If I'm not in a relationship, I gradually lose interest until I don't think about it at all. I go dead from the neck down I guess.

Which is a blessing really. I mean it's bad enough to be alone, but to be alone and have to deal with sexual frustration too??? ARgh.
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  #40  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:43 AM
BornOfStardust BornOfStardust is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by illuminette
yes, my sultry sister..... you are so very right.

I am a firm beleiver in sex education not only from a health standpoint, but as an acquired life skill.
If I had known how to masturbate effectively as a teenager, I think I would have been a lot happier....at least more laid back.
Amen!
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  #41  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:49 AM
BornOfStardust BornOfStardust is offline
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Thankfully, illuminette, I didn't have the problem of masturbation ignorance in my teen years. I had been unwittingly masturbating since I was...I dunno, 3, 4, 5, something like that, rubbing against blankets and such. I just didn't realize what it was until I was about 15. Anybody else have a similar experience?
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  #42  
Old 08-11-2003, 12:56 AM
BornOfStardust BornOfStardust is offline
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(And of course, had I known more about it to begin with, it wouldn't have taken me so long to figure it out and realize that I wasn't weird or somehow hurting myself, and I wouldn't have had to depend on chance discovery to figure out how to do it. Which is just why there needs to be more education about it!)
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  #43  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:01 AM
illuminette illuminette is offline
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Actually, I did the same thing. It is very common. My daughter, who is a toddler, does it and I don't think anything of it. I know that when she goes to school I will need to explain that those things need to stay at home.
Although, I do have some interesting friends that have been known to go to work and take "personal breaks" frequently during the day. They swear it increases their productivity.
Hell, I'm lucky if I can spell my name after an orgasm, much less work.
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  #44  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:16 AM
BornOfStardust BornOfStardust is offline
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I've heard that it's pretty common, yeah. I've vowed to be open and accepting on the subject with my children, when I have them--I have a very clear memory of my mom telling me "Don't play with yourself" when I was young. Of course, the advice that those things should stay at home is good, at least until they're old enough to learn discretion.

Hee hee..."personal breaks." I can see how it would increase productivity though (once you had time to get past the incoherent part )--it's a major stress reliever, endorphins flying everywhere and all. I saw a report recently that said studies have shown people are actually more alert and can think more clearly when they get a massage, which suggests that employers should give their employees massage breaks instead of coffee breaks. Imagine, though, if we got massage breaks AND masturbation breaks! There would be a lot of happy workers out there.....
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  #45  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:24 AM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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Quote:
Imagine, though, if we got massage breaks AND masturbation breaks! There would be a lot of happy workers out there.....
Fuck dental plans, we need jerkoff plans...
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  #46  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:37 AM
Orange Skinner Orange Skinner is offline
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17 year old female checking in. I get horny, on average, I don't know, maybe every two hours; yeah, that sounds about right. In a given week, I'd say I probably masturbate anywhere from 7-25 times, though usually it's about 12 or so, though more if I haven't had a chance to see Mudshark.

I've been like this for the past four years or so...my sex drive has progressively gotten higher since I started masturbating at about 11. Oh, and for the past year, I've been on medication that's supposed to inhibit my sex drive/ability to orgasm. When my doctor was going into the side effects, I said, "oh, that's probably a good thing," to which he gave me the strangest of looks. I can't imagine how bad I'd be without it.
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  #47  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:56 AM
suki suki is offline
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Figures I jump into this post first.

It might have something to do with being single, however I'm horny constantly.


When I was married sex was near at least every other day, and masturbating...well, it's just about every day.
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  #48  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:57 AM
Orange Skinner Orange Skinner is offline
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Quote:
I'm not picking on you Elysian, just an observation from a guy. All that is exactly why men don't understand women. Grouchy, irritable, working in the basement, dirty, hungry, tired, NONE of those things would make most men not be horny! Well, maybe tired but... I guess it must just be a hormonal thing.

I've never been a good representation of the female mindset at large, but none of this would translate as DON'T TOUCH ME. Being irritable, hungry, tired and dirty, to me, translates as, "let me make a sandwich and then we'll have slow shower sex."

Forgot to mention. Ideally, at this point in my life, (whether it has to do with age or personal disposition or what), I'd have sex or some variant of it once or twice daily. While I wouldn't have sex during my period, being on my period does little/nothing to do with hampering my sex drive. (I just don't find sex while on my period an appealing prospect).

7-25 times might sound a little shocking, (especially considering it's that high with a boyfriend), but I'll usually go three times in a row, then not again for the rest of the day, and I'm counting all of those times individually, not as one session.
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  #49  
Old 08-11-2003, 01:59 AM
Finger Princess Finger Princess is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2003
I'm eighteen and I'd say I'm genuinely physically horny at least once every day or two, but I'm in a constant "Looking for sex" sort of state. My male friends won't even lay down next to me on the ground for fear of being felt up.

Masturbation is pretty much once a day, sometimes with pauses of a few days to increase pleasure. The aforementioned friends are varyingly disturbed and intrigued by my penchant for public (secretive) self-gratification... Movie theaters, school, wherever.

It's been my experience that women can be horndogs just as much as men. The few female friends I have are very knowledgeable and comfortable regarding sex and sexuality, often to the consternation of our guy-friends.

I've been lurking for a few years now. It figures that this would be my first post.
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  #50  
Old 08-11-2003, 02:15 AM
Syntropy Syntropy is offline
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Join Date: May 2003
I'm 37. I can't remember when I wasn't thinking about sex.

When I was 17, I thought the sex would never feel as good as it did when I was that young.

When I was 27, I knew more, had slowed the tempo (during) enough to enjoy it, and was sober for almost all of it (as opposed to when I was 20-25). Started going for quality instead of head count.

Now that I am 37, and hitting my plateau (women don't peak, we plateau ), I'm not nervous about asking for what I want, not embarrassed about doing anything & everything that comes to mind, and I have an orgasm every single time I have sex.

Really, I think men got the short end of the stick on this one.... (pun DECIDEDLY intended)
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