Simple game. I’ll go first :
When to get a female dog “fixed”? - When she’s “broken”.
What is the cheapest food in order to maintain life? - Ramen Noodles. 5 million college students can’t be wrong.
What are the random numbers I sometimes hear on short wave radio? - Lotto numbers - OF THE FUTURE!
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Talking to you.”
Well, not a General Question, but recently one of our more obnoxious anti-American posters asked a rare non-political question about girlfriend issues, and my first thought was, “Have you told her how much you loathe Bush?”
“Candles on birthday cakes - Why?”
Because tiki torches melt the frosting.
How do you catch a bullet? - Well, first you sneak up on it verrrry quietly…
U.S. Intention to Convert To Metric
Where have I heard this before? I think it was the 3rd grade. Don’t fret, conversion to Roman numerals will not commence until they come up with a zero.
Latin translation: "In the absence of light darkness prevails"
I recommend you ask Mel Gibson. His e-mail is filthyrich@aol.com. If that doesn’t work, send a Latin=>English translation recommendation to Babel Fish.
How is ‘General Tso’ (as in chicken) pronounced?
Step 1: Take some flatware from your untensil drawer…
Urban Planner want’s to create neighborhood “super clusters” Why? What’s the benefit?
That’s his job. He’s gotta keep food on the table too, you know.
Identify this pill
If I told you it was the capsule form of the fountain of youth, would you swallow it?
What ARE The Differences Between English and Napoleonic Law?
One’s in French, the other’s in English - you guess which is which.
english words of french origin with an accent
I just saw some in the English/Napoleonic Law’ thread
"Ghost" email addresses
DrVenkman@ghostbusters.net, Casper@aol.com, MrsMuirsConfidant@excite.com
File right fingernails, how?
With a left-handed nail file available at the Lefties-Only Online Store
Human Sexuality question
If You gotta ask, you’re doin something wrong
Who can be credited w/ ending slavery
According to Patricia Ireland: Divorce Attorneys
Abraham Lincoln’s stance on slavery
Feminist revisionist history books point out Lincoln not was not only a self-taught Constitutional lawyer, but was well-versed in Illinois Marital law.
Illegal questions in job interviews
What do you say I hire you, we get outta here and go fuck our brains out?
Orthodox Jew Vs. Handshaking
Is this a Talmud, or ‘Who Would Win’ thread.
Jewish / Palestinian marriages
Shaking hands is a no-no. ‘Rubbing uglies’ rules are too vague to comment on.
Are widows really being forced into prostitution by the Sudanese government?
I heard there are exemptions for women who remarry men from Thailand
Time Reporting and Exempt Status
Which ran as an op-ed piece to Newsweek’s Inclusion Status editorial
The Psychology of Pinball
A little known therapy used by mental health professionals in the early 70’s to help victims of molestation who suffered from Helen Keller syndrome
photogs, thoughts on Cannon d-rebel vs Nikon D70
Moved => IMHO. GQ is for questions with factual answers.
My first virus! Now what?
Starve a cold, feed a fever. Try putting dry toast, rice, oatmeal, applesauce and ginger ale into your floppy drive
Why the heck do we have seagulls in Colorado?
For the same reason you have garbage dumps in Colorado
how can I get my license back?
Take off your ninjab, Sultanna
Nuestra Señora de la O – explanation please
It loosely translates into: What’s with these gringos trying to understand spanish?
**Why??? ** - Why not?
**Can I Write-Protect a Document? ** - Well, the pen is mightier than the sword
Any answer to any of Surreal’s questions.
Wait, you mean I can actually let these answers out, instead of trapping them in my head so they don’t cause trouble?!? Sweet.
What causes the headache that comes with a hangover?’
That’s your brain working overtime repressing the memories of the previous night.
**Illegal to arrest someone on LSD? **
Yes, but only because of the Police Dept’s strict drug policies. It is legal to arrest someone on Jelly Donuts.
So when does it become an arsenal
When Charleton Heston calls to ask if he can come over and play.
**how can I get my license back? **
Putting saran wrap on your license’s toilet seat is a time honored tradition in prank wars.
**Moss as houseplant (dish garden) **
Seriously, dude, just clean out your refrigerator.
**15 minute “smoking break” required by law? **
Yes, now go buy a pack of Camels.
**Hudson Hawk Subliminal Messages **
Wait, you mean it’s not normal to break out into “Swinging on a Star” in the middle of a staff meeting?
**Medical Term for Reaction to ‘Cuteness’. **
It is the Iwannahugimensqueezeumancallimgeorge syndrome.
MSG headache–Having to stand on-line in the Ladies’ Room during a Madison Square Garden event.
Wet Cordless Phone–Don’t pee on it in the first place.
Porn in the days before cameras–Isn’t it always filmed in the daytime before a camera?
“I ran into John the other day.”
“Yeah? Was anyone hurt?”
Improper use of quotation marks.
You should “really” try to “end” a “question” with a “question mark”.
What’s wrong with “each other”?
Well I’m O.K., but I’m not so sure about you.
Ask the small plane pilot
How do you see over the dashboard?
Flip answers to general questions
Sanhi gumawa ka magkulang sa malaman?
Sorry, couldn’t resist. 
Can chickens swim?
Not in 3 1/2 cups of boiling water lightly salted.
(-3)(-3)? Prove it!
MAKE ME!! :dubious:
"In through the nose, out through the mouth" – any benefit?
We tried in through the mouth, out through the nose…but we kept ruining keyboards and monitors.
What grams aren’t enumerated on food labels?
Candy-grams? Tele-grams?
(I was tempted to post that as an answer in GQ itself LOL)
And yes, my parents are very proud.
** How many packets of duck sauce are wasted each year?**
Very few. Packets of duck sause don’t generally do drugs.
How do koalas taste?
With their tongues, I would assume.
shy petite girl … can i do this?
don’t you mean “can i do her?”
How do they REALLY catch a bullet with their teeth?
Only once. Then they catch it with their dentures.
That’s the one topic that inspired me to do this, even though it’s not phrased as a question. 
“Do you use a booster seat?”