Ever considered spelunking in the backyard?

[Omniscient]

Ok, time to break in IMHO. My first thread here so lets make it a keeper.

So whats everyone's opinion on anal sex? Are you game? Do you like to explore new teritory? Go where no man has gone before? Go where most men have gone before, and would love to go again?

Ladies, you feeling cheeky? Is your backyard an amusement park? Have any interest in one day sharing in a little spelunking? Got any horror stories for the uninitiated?

I guess its only right that I open things up, so to speak.

I'm most certainly game......gotta try everything once. Haven't had the opportunity yet. But if the circumstances were right I'd like to explore a little, hell I've read enough about it, alot of it here....you kinky little freaks.

*wondering if I'll regret this in the morning*

[Mr. Cynical]

::folding up the lawn chair and moving to a different thread::

Sorry, Omni, can't hang with ya on this one. Look me up in "Chicks Who Dig Fat Guys", where I'll be looking for the next Ex Mrs. Cynical.

[soulsling]

spelunking huh? and here i was thinking oooh, a rock climbing thread....
well, maybe i need a new hobby

thanx Mr. Cynical, i'll just be taking that spot ::unfolding lawn chair-popping open a bottle of oj::
:sigh:

[Falcon]

I just wanna know how drunk Omni was when he posted this thread.

[Omniscient]

buncha voyuers.....you all are a total let down!

[Sue Duhnym]

I'm most certainly game......gotta try everything once. Haven't had the opportunity yet. But if the circumstances were right I'd like to explore a little, hell I've read enough about it, alot of it here....you kinky little freaks.

So you'd give it but would you also TAKE it?

C'mon, open wider!

[tracer]

Are you offering to wear a strap-on for him, Sue?

::shades of Satan and Heatherlee::

[Omniscient]

Sue, you answer my question....I'll answer yours.

[Czarcasm]

Just when I thought you bozoes and bozoettes couldn't sink any lower, you surprise me with this thread.

*sniff*

I am so proud!

[Kricket]

Not much that I haven't tried. OTOH with my husband backyards are off limits. Hell, I can't even get him to christen our new van.
He has visions of having to call someone to bail us out of jail. Anybody here offer to bail us out and maybe you can help me talk him into it!

[SPOOFE]

I'd go for it, both giving and/or taking, as long as whoever I'm doing it with wears black socks. And is short. And blonde. With big hips/butt. Yes, I AM referring to a specific person. No, nobody else at the SDMB knows who she is (except maybe Monster104, but he hasn't seen this thread yet, I don't think).

[Psycho Kitten]

Well.. hello everyone, this is my first post here at the Dope.. and what a way to go... *chuckle* how typical of me.

As for the question, I have no problem with anal sex. I'm the adventurous sort, and I think that there's something for everyone. What I'd really like, though, would be for my boyfriend to let me do it back to him. Don''t get me wrong here.. I'm not a slut or a bondage queen either, I'm just a normal girl.

I actually had a conversation about this with a bunh of girl friends of mine, all normal, girl-next-door girls, and they all admitted to me that they had all done it as well with their respective boyfriends. It seems it's not as taboo as it is made out to be, it's just not talked about much.

[Omniscient]

It seems it's not as taboo as it is made out to be, it's just not talked about much.

I entirely agree, witness this thread!

[JimmyNipples]

I've had a few Doctor's instruments and digits up the hoop a couple of times.

It wasn't even remotely sexual.....and it felt pretty awful.

But that doesn't stop me from badgering my bride for the past 16 yrs.

[Sue Duhnym]

Are you offering to wear a strap-on for him, Sue?

::shades of Satan and Heatherlee::

Uh, no. Ick.

Not to mention that I don't think I'd be too coordinated with one. I'm sure it takes years of practice to wield a penis.

[Sue Duhnym]

Sue, you answer my question....I'll answer yours.

Ooooo, a dare! Nope, I'm not playing.

You might say that my backyard has a privacy fence.

[tracer]

Kricket wrote:

Not much that I haven't tried. OTOH with my husband backyards are off limits. Hell, I can't even get him to christen our new van.
He has visions of having to call someone to bail us out of jail. Anybody here offer to bail us out and maybe you can help me talk him into it!

What State are you in? Some States have laws against back-door sex (e.g. Virgina), and some don't (e.g. California). Peter McWilliams' book Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do has a complete table in the back, showing what sexual practices are outlawed in each of the 50 States.

Of course, if you don't actually live in the United States, this won't help you.

[Omniscient]

Gee tracer, going out of your way to hijack this puppy aren't you? Well damn it, its my thread and I ain't letting it happen. Save that shit for your "Interesting Laws" chain-mail, I'm sure theres a thread in MPSIMS.

Sue, pretty lame to start probing for questions to snap at me and then tucking your tail between your leg, doncha think? I'm disappointed in the TM so far.

I wonder how many folks are eager to read this thread, but won't post. I think the "page views" will tell the story.

[Psycho Kitten]

*chuckles* I told you Omni, everyone does it, but no one'll talk about it. Taboo subject. it's kind of like masturbating. You know that more than 20% of women DO it... they just won't admit to it in surveys (I will never understand why).

Women in this culture have been trained since birth to be these little polite things that don't talk about their personal sex lives. Espeially not things like masturbation. Anal sex is out of the question. A Woman, a LADY, talk about anal sex? Never! heh. ahh well.. I'll leave the flowery prettyness to the other girls. As for me? I'd just rather be one of the boys.

[Kricket]

No guys I was seriously talking about outdoor sex.
As for the other, like I said there isn't much I haven't done.
Now, anybody willing to post bail so I can christen the van?

[Omniscient]

Kricket, if I'm gonna post bail....I'm gonna do the christening.

Kitten, guess what.....I masturbate too! If you wanna grab a beer sometimes and have a little guy talk, you just let me know!

[Mr. Cynical]

::coming in through the back door::

Fine. I've done it. Thought it was fun. Would do it again, given the appropriate situation.

::running out blushing and weeping::

[Nacho4Sara]

Hmmm...anal sex. I agree that it is extremely taboo, but I talk about it with my best friend all the time, who is gay and therefore quite experianced with it.

As be there, not too concerned about the details!for personal experiance, never done it! I am still kind of young though, and into plain old bread and butter sex - I'm just happy to

However, one time...an ex-boyfriend, ahem, ummm, put a, ahem, finger there and...it wasn't that bad. In fact, I liked it.

Anyway, logically I know this will never happen, but I have this image of some person who as over-anal sexed walking around stooped over in a diaper. I mean, what does it do to those sphincter muscles? Pretty scary! So right now, there is an exit-only sign over top my butt.

[RTFirefly]

And here I was ready for a thread about caving, a topic I can't remember having been broached on the SDMB.

Never given or received anal sex. OTOH, back in my single days, I once had a hot n' heavy time with a girlfriend in a cave we were exploring together. (Double entendre opportunity, if you want it!)

[Silo]

Omni, have you ever thought of changing your name to ButtLove or SweetCheeks.

[Omniscient]

Pretty scary! So right now, there is an exit-only sign over top my butt.

Sara.....we'll see if I ever flirt with you agian!

just kidding!

Anyways, to offer a little more detail in hopes of stimulating conversation. In regards to the finger thing, I've done that with a girl, it was the first step we took after discussing trying anal sex. I did it, and she really liked it, this boded well and we intended to eventually go all the way on the first "special occasion", unfortunately shortly after we moved into a long distance relationship which eventually destroyed the relationship before getting around to exploring. Oh, and I was really excited by her enthusiasm during the fingering. Prior to that I don't think I was that interested in trying anal sex, it was just one of those things I figured I oughta try once. After seeing her go wild its become more of a exciting fantasy I'd like to try.

thinking this thread is a example of my horrible impulse control getting me into trouble

[SPOOFE]

Well, Omni, everyone... I'm the type who just never gets lucky, but I've heard stories from my friends ::cough cough::... apparently, the front door is still a subject of paranoia and the mouth is just a tad too small... so I guess, in some cases, anal sex is the better-accepted option.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Well, you don't score a 29 on the prurity test without doing
a lot of strange, so, yes, miner's helmet and all.

And outdoors, too, OK, Kricket? It is fun if there is a slight chance of being caught, eh?

Psycho Kitten: welcome to the SDMB! I'm always ready to "break in" another "virgin", heh , heh.

[Tymp]

Strange. This is the third sex related thread I’ve posted to in two days. With a post count as low as mine, I guess this means it’s time for me to turn off the ‘puter and go out.

Anyway, I’m a fan of back yard sports and I’ve played for both teams. I’ve known players that absolutely love butt sex and I’ve known some that fear it more than death.

An interesting point that’s been mentioned in this thread is the finger frolic variety. I’ve yet to meet a woman who does not love a bit of devilish digital diversion during oral sex. The ones whom I have introduced to this idea have been pleasantly surprised by their own enjoyment. Still, some are not able to get their . . . um . . . minds around the idea of a penis instead of a finger.

[Coldfire]

and into plain old bread and butter sex

Really? I'm more of a steak with french fries sex man myself

[Silo]

I'm a steak and potatos kinda guy myself.

[Koffing]

Well, you don't score a 29 on the purity test without doing
a lot of strange, so, yes, miner's helmet and all.

29?! Dude, I'm impressed!

[Psycho Kitten]

Psycho Kitten: welcome to the SDMB! I'm always ready to "break in" another "virgin", heh , heh.

Oh dear Daniel.... was that a threat or a promise? ;D


anywhoo.. sine I am new here, feel free to talk to me.. any of you.. I like getting to know people.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Kitten: BOTH! .

(Actually I'm "taken", so I'm "harmless".)

But, I will give one picture -- midnite, outside, in a parking lot, bent over the car, short skirt hiked up, pants unzipped, traffic going by.....

[tracer]

I wrote:

Peter McWilliams' book Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do has a complete table in the back, showing what sexual practices are outlawed in each of the 50 States.

Oh God.

As if Wally dying wasn't bad enough, I just found out that Peter McWilliams died this June 16th, apparently from choking on his own vomit because of nausea. (He'd been taking marijuana to reduce his nausea, before the law clamped down on him.) http://dpsinfo.com/dps/pmnote.shtml

I even have an e-mail from Peter McWilliams sitting around in my inbox from a couple years ago. I admit I never met him in person, or even chatted on line with him; but damn, I'm gonna miss that guy.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

sad. Anyone know what happened to psycho kitten? Posted here, then disappeared?

[Olentzero]

Been there, done that. We're in VA, so break out the cuffs and drag us away.

Been curious about receiving. Been curious about a lot of stuff, so there.

[xizor]

I've had my prostate checked, does that count? And if that is the extent of the joys of the experience then count me out.

[Falcon]

Tracer -

Oh my god. I just finished reading that book.....was a WONDERFUL lucky find I made one night with some friends. *sniffle*

[tracer]

I even have a really old humor book by Peter McWilliams sitting on my shelf. I got it for Christmas 'way back when I was still living with my parents. It was entitled The McWilliams II Word Processor. (The "word processor" was a pencil, get it?)

I still remember McWilliams's appearance on Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. I think he was already HIV-positive at the time. I still don't know how he contracted the virus.

Libertarian (the poster who frequents the Great Debates forum) touted McWilliams, due to the nature of his death, as a martyr in the War On Drugs. Personally, I actually don't like the idea of making Peter McWilliams out to be a martyr. It detracts from the sense of loss I have about missing him as a person, as someone I sorta knew. I may not have agreed with everything he said, but for me, for whatever reason, his death felt kinda ... personal to me.