Inspired by this thread, and more specifically, this post, I am interested.
Let’s talk about people who do/don’t do buttsex.
Women: Are you one? Have you ever been one? Why don’t you do it? Do you know any? What do they say about it? Do they think it’s gross that other people do it? Have they tried it at all? Do they expect men to try it at least once?
Men: Have you encountered any? Is this a dealbreaker for you when considering dating someone? Have you been partnered with one? Did she do it at first and then stop, or did she never do it at all? What reasons have the women given for not wanting to perform anal? Did they want you to do it to them in return? How were they sexually otherwise?
Everybody: Have you ever met a woman who wouldn’t let a man perform anal sex on her? Or a man who wouldn’t let his partner preform it on him. Why? Are you one? And was this a dealbreaker for you women, or men who do like to do it?
Any other thoughts, perspectives, and additional questions are welcome.
This thread is open to everybody. Regardless of orientation.
Please list your gender, (approximate) age, country, and any other factors you think might be relevant. Thanks.
For the record, I am a 41YO, heterosexual male. I tried it once even though I don’t really see what the big deal is. The experience was enjoyable for something different, but I still don’t see what the big deal is, as I greatly prefer oral or vaginal sex.
I’ve been there several times, but I think the idea of it tends to be more exciting than the actual experience. When I’ve done it, it was the woman who initiated it (I’ve never been able to formulate a way to ask for it that doesn’t sound sleazy), but it still turns out to be a lot of work for not really that much payoff. My advice is use a lot of lube, and women kind of don’t like it if you use the Brokeback Mountain, spit-in-the-hand technique.
My current girlfriend loves it and can climax from it alone, so we engage pretty enthusiastically. That being said, I do not think it would be a dealbreaker for me. I really enjoy it, but it’s something I enjoy in large part because she enjoys it so much and makes it so much fun.
My ex-wife … I was going to say “wouldn’t even consider it,” but that’s inaccurate: her stated position on it was (verbatim) “You first.” Her intent was not, it was clear to me, to suggest we up the kink a few notches but instead to put any further discussion of it to an immediate end.
I don’t do it. I did it once and despite a generous amount of lube it ripped me open and I bled for a couple of days afterwards. You know what isn’t fun? Bleeding from your anus. I refuse to do it ever again and my boyfriend thinks the concept of sticking his penis in a poop chute is kind of gross so it works out well for both of us.
It’s not something I get much out of. I’ll do it if a guy wants, but I can’t orgasm from it alone and it’s… hmm, not unpleasant but a bit uncomfortable and kind of dull? Not really what I want in my sex life.
I do enjoy playing with a guys ass though, so he’s gotta be up for some reciprocation.
I’m on the record in previous threads (god, I get so TMI here for some reason) as enjoying it very much. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I prefer it to vaginal or want it more often, but it’s very nearly on par.
Anal sex just doesn’t do it for me. I have never been able to reach orgasm by fucking; and i have only been fucked once, and couldn’t wait for it to be over (it wasn’t painful, just very very uncomfortable). My partner, 43, has extensive experience in every conceivable type of sex, and after being with me for 21 years, says he doesn’t miss it.
I’ve never done it and don’t really have any interest in it, nor does my wife. One girl with whom I had a serious relationship offered it and I politely declined. It wasn’t an issue.
One of my wife’s friends recently popped her anal cherry, though, and reportedly enjoyed it very much. To each his or her own.
I really enjoy receiving, but if a man didn’t want to do it that wouldn’t be a deal breaker. I can understand that it might oog some people out and wouldn’t be offended. If they acted like I was gross for liking it though, that would be a deal breaker.
In my experience perhaps 80% of the men I’ve been with would have refused to receive even a finger, let alone something larger. Men around here still seem to feel that straight men don’t do that. Refusing to receive wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me either.
I’ve never done it and I never intend to. What with the fact that bacteria-laden poo passes through on a regular basis (and I have a bit of germophobia) and that one is more likely to tear (wasn’t there even something about even when done right, it causes microscopic tears?), my anus is an exit-only orifice, barring medical procedures. If other people enjoy it, yay them, but it’s not for me.
Never done it, really have no desire to at all. From what I hear, it’s uncomfortable at best, and very painful at worst. Plus, IMO, the anus is just not sexual in the least. It would be like sticking a finger in my ear and expecting me to come.
For the record (not trying to talk you into doing it or anything weird like that), this is not true. For most people, though, it does take some reading up on how to do it properly.
There’s quite a few females in this thread telling you otherwise. But no big deal if you don’t want to try.
Most women I’ve been with aren’t even willing to try. Many had done it previously and didn’t enjoy it or cite my er ‘girth’ as reasons not to. When I was around 16 or so I had a girlfriend that really really enjoyed it. For the record it’s not a dealbreaker for me. Just something to spice up the sex once and awhile. It’s more the thought and the buildup then the actual act however.
My wife occasionally enjoys it and even asks for it once and awhile. In my experience it tends to be multi-orgasmic girls that don’t like regular oral sex that go for it. Girls that don’t have as many orgasms and enjoy ‘regular’ things like oral don’t have as much interest/enjoyment. Might just be what I’ve encountered though.
It takes a lot of trust, a lot of time, a lot of patience and a lot of lube. Luckily for me I had that with my husband. It hurt almost not at all-- a lot less than my first time vaginally. The difference, I think, was that the first time for me was two people who didn’t know what the hell they were doing.
And no, it isn’t for everybody. Hell, I was surprised to find out some guys don’t like BJs! To each his own.
Straight, female, 45.
P.S. Putting your mouth in that general area is a lot more pootastic., IMO.
I don’t do it purely for the reason that I have developed a pilonidal cyst on my tailbone that gets horrendously irritated and painful whenever I do it. I spend the next week using a special pillow and having to go to the doctor to get it drained.
In my younger days I did it. It didn’t really get me going or anything, but I knew a few guys that liked it, so I let them. Now I don’t even let my fiancee do it because it’s not worth the money/time/discomfort to let him in my back door. He really has no desire to do it anyway, or so he says.
Despite not being a big backdoor man himself, the OP’s “Men:” question assumes that guys who don’t want to put it in her pooper just need to turn in their man card right now.
For the record, I don’t want to put it in *anyone’s *pooper.
