Warning to KittenBlue–you probably SHOULD NOT READ THIS ONE. And don’t tell the secretary that I posted this.
So this week the former pastor was at our church helping out at a funeral. He is an older guy who is now retired. Probably age 75? I’m not sure.
Okay, I know I shouldn’t tell you this, but it is too funny to keep in.
So he’s at the secretary’s window (there is a half wall with these glass sliding windows on top) looking into her office area. On the wall behind her is a dry erase board where we keep people’s names who are sick, in the hospital, new births, deaths, you get the picture.
So there was another death this past week and the pastor saw the name on the board. He said the following to the secretary, who, by the way, he has known all her life and he was like a second father to her after her father died many years ago:
“Oh that Mr. S. What a guy. He impregnated his wife twice before they were married! He must have had a huge cock! I used to have them in counseling and they fought all the time. Then I met their psychologist who had them in counseling and he said the same thing. He had another child too, with someone else. He must have had a huge cock!”
Meanwhile, the secretary, who is completely stunned, is just staring at him with her mouth hanging open.
When people reach a certain age, do they just blurt out whatever they are thinking? Because this was so inappropriate and strange that it boggles the mind.
Yeah, that comes with age. My grandmother was in the hospital after a stroke and when I went to go visit her she told me “keep your legs closed”. My boyfriend at the time was with me and didn’t know what she said. Then she turned to him and said “and you, keep your dick in your pants”. :eek:
Again, good thing he couldn’t understand her…he kept asking me what she said, but I refused to tell him.
I read some kind of OP-ED piece in a magazine somewhere written by a guy on the cusp of fogeyhood. He’d taken to eating his lunches with a group of codgers well into their 70s and 80s. The writer found himself pleasently surprised that he welcomed old fartitude, because the mature say whatever is on their mind, and can’t be bothered anymore to worry about another person’s reaction. “Eh, I’m gonna go now; you’re starting to bore me.”
Of course, “He musta had a huge cock!” does seem to be pushing the boundaries of taste more than could be explained away by run-of-the-mill curmudgeonly frankness.
When my Great-Uncle Norman was in the hospital, he was being visited by my Aunt Karen (his brother’s daughter), and asked her: “Do you rape easy?” Whether he was speaking from actual lust or mere drug-and-disease-induced mental fogginess, we’ll never know. Both people mentioned in this post have since passed on.
A friend of mine once related what his grandmother said on her deathbed to the family gathered around her. She held her hands out about eight inches apart and said, “I want a cock this big.” Go granny!
As a small aside, those who have strokes or other brain injuries sometimes suffer from aphasia. And in many of those cases, those who retain a few words, tend to have a high percentage of profanity. See the last two sentences in the following.
I speak from personal experience, as my late father was aphasic and only had a few words at his command. He could, however, communicate volumes with his inflection and emphasis on “god damn.”
By the way,
It was obvious Dad could understand what was being said; he would laugh, show surprise or concern, etc. in appropriate places in someone’s conversation. He just didn’t have command of the words to communicate his thoughts. He could, however, draw pictures to communicate, and fairly good ones, even though he was constrained by paralysis from using his right hand. He had been a drraftsman and engineer before the stroke.
Agreed, that is not the situation with the minister, but I wonder possibly if TIAs (Transient Ischemic Attacks) could loosen inhibitions like that…?