Who do you have it in for?

Who in this great big world do you dislike upon seeing, hearing, or even thinking of them. Rational, irrational…doesn’t matter. Famous or unknown. Again, doesn’t matter. And, limit the cuss fueled tirades. Without it, this seems pretty IMHO. With it, this thread is doomed for The Pit. Mine?

Billy Packer - CBS college basketball analyst. A little bit of me dies every time I hear CBS has re-upped their contract to telecast the NCAA tourney because it means I know I’ll be subjected to this idiot’s blathering. He broadcasts as if he were the overseeing God of the sport and everyone else watching it was a 2 months old just discovering their collective hand. He is wrong much more often than he is right and his analysis ignores the true issues driving a game and focuses instead on crap like “This team really needs more energy, Jim.” Thanks jerk.

Isiah Thomas - Yeah, he was a fine point guard, but this guy is an idiot. How does he get jobs? Let’s see here. GM of the Raptors, both he and the team implode. Takes over the CBA? Bankrupt and out of business. Coach of the Pacers? Look at them in the 5 years before his arrival, during his arrival, and after his firing. A nice U shape there. GM of the Knicks? Oh yeah, that’s a great move. He has somehow managed to take an underachieving team with a bloated payroll and make them even more underachieiving with a payroll that stays as bloated for a longer time. Fantastic work there genius.

Gwyneth Paltrow - Her movies suck. Every single one of them. She is awful. There has been exactly one movie of hers that I have liked and she gets beheaded in it. She could make a 2 minute appearance in a movie featuring non-stop explicit lesbian love scenes among the cast of Melrose Place and I wouldn’t watch it.

The chick that sat in the cube next to me - Could she talk on the phone more and do less work? No. And, her entire vocal repertoire could probably be broken down into “Okay?” “Hello” and “That’s off the chain.” The idea that I have to breathe in her recycled air makes me want to cover my lungs in candle wax.

Walton County drivers - If I get behind a ridiculously slow driver in an unpassable area, it is almost always a car from this county. They have a secret cabal out to drive me insane one mile at a time.

What, you’d rather have him announcing games, especially during the playoffs? Is there a worse commentary tandem out there than Thomas/Walton?

Thomas: This Lakers team looks great coming out of the second half, but it’s nothing like the fire we used to have on my old Pistons championship team.

Walton: Duhhhhh…I like chocolate!

Thomas: Couldn’t agree more, Bill. Remember how hard I’d hit the boards during the playoffs? Man, I was great!

Walton: My son plays for Oregon. They have green jerseys.

Thomas: That’s great, Bill. He reminds me of me when I was his age, if only your son could step up his game about 300%.

Walton: That dog has a poofy tail! Here poof! Here poof!

Michael Winner - Visually and aurally repulsive.

Lee Greenwood.
I was an Air Force broadcaster when the first gulf war broke out. If I never hear “God Bless the USA” again, it will be too soon.
Bastard.

Bill O’Reilly.
Sean Hannity.
Ann Coulter.
Donald Trump.
Anna Nicole Smith.
Dennis Miller.

The list just keeps growing and I’m usually just going along quietly and minding my business, not trying to start anything…

Lemme see here…
Bush
Rice
Ashcroft and Gonzales
Rumsfeld
Rove
cheyney–you get the idea!
My current director(dept head)–the worst we’ve ever had, bar none.
Nicole Kidman–you didn’t say it had to be rational, did you?
Chapelle-I can’t even stand the ads for his show.

My MIL–don’t ask.

My neighbor’s kid. She’s like 3. She frowns, complains, pouts, whines, is genuinely ugly (just like her mom). Never smiles. She’s spoiled rotten. She cries over everything. She’s being raised as a hypchondriac by a domineering mother and a milktoast father to believe she owns the world.

The only thing that makes me want to have a kid is to help balance her out.

And Karl Rove, but not nearly as much.

Gilbert Godfrey. His voice ties my spine in knots.

Besides the obvious politicos, I work for a professor whose mere prescence makes me nauseous. He looks like a googly-eyed pig. He utters sexist remarks, is a close talker and likes to stand over me when I do work for him. He is a horrible writer and just makes up words. Basically what he does is add “ization” or “ize” to perfectly decent words. Doing typing for him is a painful process where I have to turn off the English language part of my brain. He’s also a passive aggressive asshole who steals from the college. I’d love to see him get fired in a public humiliating way.

Will Ferrell.

I don’t care about Hussein, Bin Laden, or Bush… Ferrell is the real Public Enemy Number One and he must die as slowly and painfully as is humanly possible.

Wayne Hecht. Rot in hell M.F.

Quentin Tarentino.

Love his movies (except the bits where he’s onscreen). Hate him. Something about the way he looks and talks makes me want to shove my fist through his face. Dunno what it is, exactly, but it’s undeniably there.

Reverend Donald Wildmon.

I’ve never heard one thing come out of this hateful little misanthrope’s mouth that didn’t make me sick.

My god, yes. She’s so goddamn pointy! I’m afraid that looking at a photograph of her will break her. I’ve had these daydreams while I’ve been reading magazines that CNN will suddenly start flashing headlines that say, “BREAKING NEWS: Nicole Kidman snaps in half!” And if she gets one more face lift, her face is going to come completely off her skull. A highly unattractive look, if I do say so myself. I’m not saying she’s not a talented actress, but the way she looks scares me beyond all belief. She is not beautiful – she’s a stick with vaguely human features.

Rush Limbaugh. His voice makes me tense up. He’s so blindly partisan that it’s ridiculous. Just hearing him makes me angry. Dad listens to him while he cleans out the barn. (I think it’s mostly because yelling at Rush Limbaugh is better stress relief than, say, snapping and climbing a bell tower.) I had to listen to Rush every morning over break while doing chores. Shoveling shit, listening to shit. It was like my own personal hell. Then we started listening to NPR, and it got better.

Moving this from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.

[Johnny]Who’ve ya got?[/Johnny]

My arch-nemesis, Amy, who some of you may remember from past pit threads.

Also: Ann Coulter, Ben Stein and any celebrity $cientologist.

It would be much easier to list those not on “my list”:

Ms. D_Odds
Master D_Odds the Eldest
Master D_Odds the Youngest
Mom D_Odds
Dad D_Odds

Everyone else is a target.

A certain girl I went to high school with. She’s denser than I am, more self-absorbed than I am, and the only time she ever talked to me directly it was either to a) comment on my clothes (usually complimentary, but still, what about the person in them?) or b) criticise. Wait, I forgot c) she needed help with her homework. The rest of the time I might as well have not been there–would have spared some feelings at least. Friend my ass.

Boy howdy, such a list I have. I’ll try to keep this to general groups. If I went specific, this post would never end.

Raving nut job politicos off all stripes. There’s just an unwillingness to listen and a lack of honesty that gets me.

Sports commentators. Why must they all be idiots? Even the former players act like they don’t know a damn thing about the game. I will make an exception for Darren Pang and Steve Levy. They know their shizzle.

Radio DJ’s. Just shut up and play music.

MTV. See above.

Anyone whose first response to a question is a long “ummmmm” or “uhhhhhh.”

I think that’s all I gots fer right now. I’m sure I’ll think of more later. I’m just a bitter angry little man.