I was reading the Eric Zorn weblog and he was talking about a company that’s manufacturing these little resin statuettes of Jesus playing team sports like football, baketball (Air Jesus!), etc. Evidently they’re designed to be gifts/awards for Catholic athletes. Zorn mostly has a problem with them because Jesus isn’t wearing protective headgear, but that’s another topic.
Then he talks about an artist whose ‘felt a calling’ to create these pencil drawings of Jesus sharing in everyday activities with us. Of course, no sooner than these drawing had made it onto the net were they ‘altered’ and captioned.
Pretty damn funny stuff, although die-hard fundies probably would have apoplexy over this. Personally, I think they’re mostly pretty innocent, and worth posting here.
Anyway, thought I’d share 'em - I laughed my ass off at some of them, and I’d give just about anything for that shot of jesus at the dentists. ‘The pain, it nourishes me…’ I also want to know why Jesus looks like Kip Winger or Barry Gibb, but that’s another question entirely Link to the Pics
Link to the Zorn blog - the section in question is about a third of the way down the page currently, under the heading ‘Journalists Not Included’
Is it just me, or does everyone in those pictures look slightly annoyed that Jesus is crowding them? They all look like they’re about this close to snapping, “Jesus, will you just back the fuck off? I don’t need your ‘help’ with this.”
Well yeah, I’ve seen both of those links before, a couple of years ago. They were forwarded to me by a friend before she knew that I consider myself to be Christian (awkward!). It’s still funny.
The lesson from all the figurines is that Jesus was a total attention-whoring ball-hog, which is something that we don’t want to focus on.
And the funniest bit from the drawings wasn’t those captions, but the genuine description from the artist who made them in the first place. He describes how he wanted to do a series of inspirational drawings, and happened to find a model for the character of Jesus who was perfect. In his words, he was a model who happened to be 33 years old, exactly the age that Jesus was when He died. And – get this – he happened to have a beard!
Because, as we all know, the hardest thing to do is draw a beard on someone who doesn’t already have one.
I really hate to make fun of the guy, because he has a lot more talent than I do. If you look at the drawing and ignore the Jesus figure, they look quite realistic. The problem is that he can’t seem to figure out how to put Jesus in without freaking out the viewer, at least when the viewer is me. Jesus isn’t just “with you always”, he’s in your face, and he looks waaaaay too eager.
I also want to know why Jesus looks like Kip Winger or Barry Gibb, but that’s another question entirely