What are the great quotes/one-liners you’ve seen lately? (Quoting yourself is not allowed).
My favorite from the last few months goes to Qadgop the Mercotan last December when pitting his Xmas tree: “May the agony of your death be exceeded only by the glory of my countenance”.
That one still makes me grin.
I can’t even remember who posted this, but there was a thread in Cafe Society about choosing either Sigourney Weaver or Britney Spears for a girlfriend. Somebody said:
“I’d take Sigourney Weaver. Sooner or later you have to either talk or kill aliens, and Britney would be worthless in either case.” 
And then there’s this sig line:
There’s always this sig line here…
Wow, I feel dumb. :smack:
Let’s try this again…
I give up. I’m resigning from the SDMB on the grounds of proliferating ignorance.
“Penis ensued.” 
In the thread about the guy who died from an overdose on Ecstasy, lieu said: “Man, that dude’s gonna be all over St. Peter.”
The quote in my profile is from Virgowitch, a banned Doper, and was taken from a GD (a)theism thread about a month after I registered.
It’s always made me laugh.
“I’m not class warring, I just don’t like yuppies.” - FreakFreely
I’m not really sure I wish I’d said it, but it’s funny anyway.
From [URL=http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5001682&highlight=duck+Elton#post5001682]this thread, where Dopers wonder if a certain blond, flirting, 18-year old newbie-girl is, in fact, an hairy Russian guy in disguise.
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.”
Maastricht, you already know I think you’re a really cool person, so it tickles me especially that you got such a kick out of that.
Cheers. 
A recent one.
Do y’all realize that some of us have sigs disabled, which makes this thread about half invisible?
This is the post that made we want to stay here, specifically the last few lines of the Post Script. I’d quote it here but it is liberally sprinkled with pit language. A bit of background: I was a Ph.D. Graduate student in Astrophysics at the time and had suffered through a radiation processes course in my Master’s degree. It was good to see there was another human being out there that had suffered as much as we did. My hat’s off to you Podkayne.
-DF
There’s a closed thread about peoples’ experiences with psychedelic drugs, and Master Wang-Ka wrote a brilliant, hilarious story about having unwittingly drunk some whiskey that was laced with LSD one time at a party. He went into a dark bedroom and lay down on the bed amid a pile of coats. After awhile, he wondered what would happen if somebody came into the room to look for their coat. “Well, we’d fool them by pretending to BE a coat. [snip] How does one impersonate a coat? Well … you cover up your face, for one thing. You lie very still, and loose, and floppy, and … you try to … to think coatlike thoughts.”
The rest of the story is a screamer. I wish I could have written something even approaching its greatness.
Oh, Master Wang-Ka’s a hoot. (He’s going to think I’m stalking him, but really, I get such a tickle from his stories.)
I love the one about the electrocuting apartment, and the disappearing kitchen fire, and the Jehovah’s witnesses.
Gotcha ya!
In a recent pit thread, a Doper describing a scene at home with his roommates mentioned something along the lines of the “tension level being at Defcon 1”.
Cracked me up, and had the chance to use it in conversation a couple nights ago. I’m meticulously fairminded about other people’s lines, though; I always have to say, “I can’t take credit for that, I heard that on the Dope [or wherever]”.