So, Kestrel bought me lunch at a chinese buffet today (we trade off, I’m no mooch ;)) and we had an incident with fortune cookies.
I open mine and read aloud: “If you continually give, you will continually have.”
So I says to Kestrel, I says: “You know, that’s a great fortune for that ‘in bed’ game.”
For those not in the know, the “in bed” game is a game where you read a seemingly innocuous fortune cookie fortune and add “in bed” or “during sex” or “in the back seat of a Chevy” or whatever your regional variation on it is to make the fortune dirty. We had a laugh about that.
Then Kes went to open hers. I had the split-second thought, “wouldn’t it be funny if Kes’ was even better-suited for the ‘in bed’ game than mine was?”
.
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And Kes reads aloud: “Relax and enjoy yourself.”
I swear upon a stack of purple corsets, it actually happened today at lunchtime.
spits I hit the enter key accidentally. I meant to edit out the name “Kestrel” with “my friend,” since “Kestrel” means nothing to y’all but it did to the board where I originally posted this. Sorry.
I proposed to my wife on the piece of paper I put inside a fortune cookie.
Naturally, that was the one day she decided to deviate from her usual behavior (Eat Cookie!), so it became a parlor game how to persuade her to eat the cookie she didn’t want. :o She said Yes.
I’m on my second marriage. My wife and I went out to dinner with my parents. When the cookie came, I opened mine and said, “You will find happiness with your third spouse”
It took everyone a moment to realize I was kidding.
There’s a scene in the Jack web-comic where a group is at a restaurant and are playing the ‘in bed’ game with their fortunes. Little do they know that all the fortunes are custom written for the customers. One person opens his up and reads…
“You will not be able to say ‘in bed’ at the end of this sentence.”
While my wife and I were still dating, we went to a small Chinese place near her apartment. She opened her fortune cookie first which read “Stop looking, Happiness is right in front of you.” I made some half-joking comment about how that just proved what I’d been telling all along. Then I opened mine, and it said “Stop looking, Happiness is right in front of you.” :eek: She accused me of switching it, but there were obviously two identical fortunes. They are now pasted in our scrapbook and just turned 20 years old.
I always play the “in bed” game. My best one so far said “Your first and best love, is self love” I just about died laughing!
Another great one I got was “You have the ability to adapt to diverse situations”
Rhubarb, that is so cute! I remembered another fortune cookie story of mine, too…
A group of us were working late at the school newspaper’s office, and decided to order Chinese take-out for everyone. When it came, there weren’t enough fortune cookies to go around. Another person and I said we’d share one. We’d split the cookie and share the fortune. What did the cookie say, people? “You are of a dual personality.”
