Fortune cookies!!!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So we went for Chinese at lunch today. Not that I stake much on fortunes from cookies, anyway, but they are amusing sometimes.

My fortune today?

“You love Chinese food.”

While true, I was a little disappointed.

OTOH, I did get the same fortune twice, from 2 different restaurants, in 2 different towns, which was quite appropriate.

“A smile is your personal welcome mat.”

This was perfect for me, since I am usually smiling (hence the name) and I always wear a smiley face charm on my necklace.

What have been your best or worst?

2

Mine have always been pretty standard fare but my brother got one once that said something to the effect of “Ask your dealer about GMAC financing.”

I kid you not.

3

I always get rude fortunes in my cookies…
“You are a fool, and everything you try will fail.”

“The ugly, stupid child is the only one that is really yours.”

“The longer you live, the harder it will be for everyone else to endure seeing you.”
What’s up with that?

4

Seven days on honeymoon make one whole/hole week/weak.

5

I got one once that said something like, “You will find yourself in elegant surroundings.”

As it happened, I was just in the process of moving into a newer apartment building. However, my apt. was a studio.

6

My husband always claims that his fortune reads, “It’s a bad day to be superstitious.”

Once I got a fortune cookie with two fortunes in it. A couple of months later I took my granddaughter and two or her friends out for Chinese and told them about the strange cookie. When we opened our fortune cookies, again mine had two fortunes. It made the children scream.

Anyone remember Art Buchwald’s book Help! I’m a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery!? That’s the funiest fortune I’ve heard.

In one of my fundamental English classes we were going to be reading a story about American-Chinese. So the day before, I dropped by the local Asian market and bought a box of fortune cookies for my students. After we had talked about the story, I passed out the cookies and asked the students to read them aloud. What I didn’t know was that this particular box had only obscene fortunes in it.

7

Well, I would say the best one was one that my SO recieved, while I was sitting next to him at a local Chinese buffet…

“Stop searching for happiness, as it is right next to you!”

The worst one I got:

“You remind people that there are other beautiful people in the world.” :confused:

I’m still not sure what to think of that one.

<< The speed of time is one second per second. >>

8

Best: Three I got in 1984 (and I think they were the only times I had Chinese food that year).

The first I was at a dinner at a science fiction convention. An agent looking for clients had invited a few writers out, including me. My fortune was:

"Your new business venture will be successful."

A few weeks later, the agent agreed to represent me.

Later that year, I got this one:

"You will never have to worry about a steady job."

And, you know what? I haven’t. Even when I’ve been out of work, I managed to earn money as a freelancer, and get a new job relatively soon.

Finally, in September or so, I got this:

"Soon you’ll be sitting on top of the world."

On November 7, I received word my novel had sold. On November 11, my daughter was born. :smiley:

9

I had a co-worker whose wife was strictly Martha Stewart. For Christmas, we each received a frosted plastic Chinese Food container that had a giant, home-made fortune cookie complete with a customized fortune. And a gift certificate for a record store or restaurant or something. I was truly impressed.

10

It’s funny this topic comes up because I received a really weird fortune a few days ago. Either something was lost in the translation or it is too esoteric for me. :wink:
"You are artistic and can relate to you."

11

I got an ominous one this week:

Good to begin well,
better to end well.

Nice.

12

The best one CG ever got was last August,shortly before we went on our road trip to visit his grandparents in Michegan.

You will soon take a much needed break
IDBB

13

Becca?

14

When my daughter was about 11 years old, she got a fortune that said "You will be married within a year." Never happened.

15

Saturday night I got this one:

A tall stranger will soon enter our life

Yes. “Our” not “Your”

Do I know the fortune cookie maker? Or does “our” refer to the person I dined with? Hmmm.

16

“That wasn’t chicken.”

17

After I hit a video-poker jackpot in Vegas, I dined at a Chinese restaurant in the casino. My fortune: “Honour (sic) is much dearer than money.” A subtle way of reminding me not to be too excited about the cash.

My sister, who ate at Chinese restaurants just about every day for a year (she doesn’t like to cook, see), kept all of her fortunes in a bowl on her living room table. When she had friends around, she’d have them take a fortune before they left. I’m not sure anyone could possibly take any stock in a second-hand fortune, but it was an interesting gesture.

18

Must play the “in bed” game…

(For the uninitiated, read fortune and add “in bed” at the end.)

19

grins at that_darn_cat

Well, unless you happened to be in Memphis when that happened… :wink:

(And what’s odd, come to think of it, I currently do not know anyone named Becca.)

<< Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? — Dick Clark >>

20

I once got one that said: “To stay healthy, eat more Chinese food.”

Another one was an ad for a 900 number psychic hotline.

I also once got one that was an ad offering advertising space on fortune cookie fortunes. It gave a URL for the cookie company but I don’t recall it.

These all came from the same restaraunt.