Just got back from lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant. Received the cheesiest fortune to date. “Courage & optimism are your best traits.” Well, of course! Who doesn’t this apply to? Didn’t even get any lucky numbers.
I’m sure I’ve seen a list floating around of really bad fortune cookie fortunes, but I’m sure this list can do better. What say you?
Sala, can’t you count?!? I said NO camels! That’s FIVE camels!
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
One week, two days, 16 hours, 37 minutes and 39 seconds.
387 cigarettes not smoked, saving $48.46.
Life saved: 1 day, 8 hours, 15 minutes.
No, my favorite was when we went to a Chinese restaurant on the inner harbor in Baltimore. The guy we went with knew the owner, and when the cookies came out, he sent them back with instructions to send out the other ones. When I opened mine upon the waiter’s return, it said, simply, “Fuck you.”
I saved it. I’ve had it in my wallet since July 9th, 1998. At the time, I was in college, had a job as the art director of a classical singing magazine, and was making pretty good bucks. Now, I’m the art director of yet another singing magazine, in New Jersey, and making even more good bucks. The best part is, because of the fortune cookie fortune, it’s smooth sailing from here, baby!