Inscrutable fortune cookies

My “Manager’s special lunch box with orange chicken” came with a fortune cookie.

:confused:

I suppose they were having a very slow day at the fortune factory…

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Having mentioned the above to my coworkers, they shared some fortunes they have received from the same restaurant recently:

I hope the China Bowl got a BIG discount on this batch of cookies…

I hope these aren’t messages from the chef. :eek:

When you get one that says, “That wasn’t chicken,” then you can start to worry.

Please remember, you should always add “…in bed.” to the end of each fortune.

I will keep eating Chinese food and getting fortune cookies untill I get my favorite fortune of all time, quoted from and episode of Rocko’s modern life from Nickolodean

“Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.”

Man I really want that fortune.

This one, at least, makes sense to me. It’s basically saying try try again.

…in bed.

The best one I ever got simply said “don’t panic”

Words to live by

My favourite is, “You like Chinese food.” Cracked me up.

I got one once that said “I think you’re pretty.”

Just a wee bit creepy.

More pineapple, please.

My boss got tired of that and started adding, “…if you weren’t such an asshole” to the end. It gets interesting sometimes!

“A good position and a comfortable salary will be yours”… in bed.

I think this one was meant for Rob Schneider.

or

“A good position and a comfortable salary will be yours”… if you weren’t such an asshole.

Definitely for me.

I remember getting one that said:

“Sssssoorrrryyy ddduupppllleeeexxx maaccchiinnee ooonnn.”

I showed it to my friend, and she never gave it back. It was the most unique fortune I had ever received. Damn bitch.

I once saw, “Life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter.”

Rather than “in bed,” my husband and I have taken to adding “with a laser” to the end of fortune cookies.