Got a good fortune out of a fortune cookie lately?
Of course, they’re always better when you add “in bed” at the end.
Here’s the one I got today:
“You are vigorous in words and action.” In bed!
“Rightousness and Fortuitude become you…IN BED!”
I knew that already, come on!
We love this one!
The best we’ve ever seen?
Our response was: "Grandma!!! We didn’t know you were in that line of work!!! :eek: "
Yes, this was, indeed, Typo’s 80-something grandmother who got that fortune. We had all just been discussing this game, then the fortune cookies arrived. Grandma, fortunately, had a wild sense of humor and howled right along with us.
I have one that says, " Look up an old friend if you’re feeling down."
And another that says, “You are always thoughtful of the other fellow.” Not so happy about that one.
Well, if you want to be an optimist about it, the “other fellow” would be the S.O.
“You have a charming way with words and should write a novel.”
This, when I was halfway through my first novel. 
Treasure your good memories and you need not worry about ending a banquet…in bed.
Cooperation will work better…in bed.
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible…in bed.
Never forget that a half truth is a whole lie…in bed.
Beware the fury of a patient man…in bed.
Burnt bridges are hard to cross…in bed.
Don’t behave with cold manners…in bed.
Never measure the height of a mountain until you’ve reached the top…in bed.
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiam…in bed.
The current year will bring you much happiness…in bed.
Just because you put tap shoes on an elephant does not mean it can dance…in bed.
You get the feeling that I might be overdoing it on the take outs?
You are in possession of unusual equipment which will lead to your success.
Methinks the writer that came up with this knew about our little game?
My last one was:
“Work on improving your exercise routine…in bed.”
I approve of this on many levels.
“Your charm today will be almost irresistble, so use it wisely…in bed.”
Just today? Shit. OK, ladies, the line forms to the left. We only have until 11:59PM, so let’s look lively.
Happy is the man who loves children…
:eek:
Hey, it’s a step up. 
The best & most accurate fortune cookie I ever received:
“You are extremely talented”…in bed!
I’ve heard another variation, where instead of “in bed,” you add, “at ITT tech.”
Wow, that works great.
My three favorite fortune cookies. (The twist only works on one of them.)
“You will achieve success with everything you put your hands to.” in bed.
“More pineapple, please.”
“Only listen to the fortune cookie; disregard all other fortune telling units.”
(I have that last one pinned to the wall of my cubicle.
I saved the fortune that said simply, “you are pretty.”
Another variation: … but I’d rather be blown.
This ones in my wallet.
“Never smell the inside of a hat” Good idea in or out of bed.
I have:
“A chance meeting with a stranger may soon change your life”… in bed.
(Isn’t this usually the way these things work?) 