Seven thousand words... of very bad French... in a day... paid by the hour. RIGHT.

The BBQ Pit
1

So yesterday I get a call from this woman with whom I’ve done business before. She has a new translation project for me. It’s verbatims (directly taken from what people in a focus group wrote in response to a commercial).

7100 words of very bad French (if there were l33tspeak in French, this would be it). In a spreadsheet, arranged every which way.

Which she wants done for TOMORROW.

And for which she will pay me by the HOUR. “Well, it’s not technical, so it should be easy, right?” (Did I mention how difficult this is to decipher in the first place?) “I’ll even pay you time-and-a-half of $30/hour because it’s Victoria Day!”

Okay, look. The cheapest rate I’ve ever offered anyone is $0,10/word, and that was because she was my mom’s neighbour and she was paying out of her medical research budget. And at least she could write French!

So even if I cranked all damn day I would still have to do 700 words an hour, for which at the aforementioned cheapest rate ever I would still normally make $70, and which at my usual rates ($0,16-0,18/word, for a rush job) would be more than $100. And for a professional translator in this city, those are VERY good rates.

So you’re asking me to take a pay cut of between 40% and 50% for the privilege of going to all the tsouris to translate this bullshit for fricking tomorrow? Not likely!

Tell me, have you ever dealt with any other translators before? One would think so, because you’re a fricking translation agency, so what kind of desperate wordsluts have you gotten to whore this garbage for you in the past?

Oh yes, that’s right: me. Once. :smack: Thanks, I think I’ll be looking for some actual work now.

2

You told her non, n’est-ce pas?

3

I was wondering the same thing (about whether she’s dealt with translators before, not where she finds garbagewhores), and was going to suggest that you cut her a bit of slack for not knowing how the business works. Until you said that she’s a frickin translation agency. That’s pretty idiotic.

Daniel

4

What are you doing posting here? Don’t you have 7100 words to translate by tomorrow? Get back to work! (Cracks whip)

5

You’re gonna get him all excited if you keep that up…

6

Bien sûr.

7

How do you say “Go fuck yourself” in French?

8

That will be thirty cents.

9

It’s va chier. This will be a freebie. :wink:

10

There’s good French?

11

I’ve been with several guys who had VERY good French. :wink:

12

Did the commercial have anything to do with Jerry Lewis?

Then you should also ask for hazard pay.

13

This is the kind of problem you run into for having professional ethics.

Me, I’d take the job. Cash the check. Run the 7000 words through babelfish. Make up anything that doesn’t translate the first time through (it’s marketing research - it’s not like there’s any real data to screw up).

In fact, I don’t see my inability to read or write French as being an insurmountable barrier here. Have her give me a call.

14

So, actual question here: if you charge by the word, and the wordcount is different in French than it is in English, for which language do you charge? I mean, as evidenced in your freebie above, in English you’d charge for 3 words, but in French, for only 2.

Merci. :slight_smile:

(also: this thread is cracking me up. Carry on.)

15

Oh, and what does tsouris mean? I know souris is mouse, and sourire is to laugh, but I don’t know tsouris and I can’t find it online. Is it slang? Or has it just been too long since I studied French? Thanks. :slight_smile:

16

Well, for one thing, it isn’t French. Tsuris is Yiddish for “problems,” or more loosely, trouble.

17

In general, translators charge for the original document; in my case, French. If the word count were unavailable (e.g. if one were working from a hardcopy document), one might take the English count and jack it up about 25%.

18

These people are cruising for a bruising. How the heck can they take a focus group and get the real meaning without speaking the darn language? There are big-time cultural issues here.

Freakin’ monoglots.

19

…which would explain why I couldn’t find it in any of the French-English dictionaries! :smack:

Thanks.

20

I understand you’re here blowing off steam, matt. I work as a temp frequently, and I am often offended by what temp agencies offer me - I have nine years experience working in offices, usually in accounting, and they call me to offer me $10 an hour receptionist work. All you can do is turn it down gracefully and chalk it up to them being a lower form of life.