…the dog jumping on the bed and licking your ass - with much vim and vigor.
Stupid dog, thinking it always has to be a part of everything we do.
Tonight the dog is going to be locked in its kennel for at least ten minutes. I don’t know why she even lets the dog in the room at all.
It could have been worse… but I just can’t go there… Ewwwww!!! :eek:
Then you should probably stop rubbing that kibble and peanut butter mixture on your ass right before you do the deed.
I understand that there are people who pay good money for just such an experience. Have you ever considered putting your dog to work?
Are these the same people that are jaded by internet porn?? If so the dog will have to compete with the wookie dressed up like a smurf.
…the music of John Philip Sousa.
Trust me.
Or the dreaded “taint ram”.
Never even thought about doing it, but I believe you. Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance would probably be a mood-killer as well.
I recall some old thread about the funniest things Dopers had said or heard during sex, there were some major buzzkills in there. Hard to do it right when you’re laughing your ass off.
Funny…*Stars and Stripes Forever * really makes me horny. Too much time in marching band in high school, I guess.
The neighbor across the gangway letting go with a wall-shaking fart that you hear through the open window, then loudly apologizing and saying “you mey now return to your attempts to have sex quietly…”
Where I’m from we call that a menage a trois.
(“taint ram”. )
… having the slats fall out of the bed.
…putting too much bubble-bath in the jacuzzi. We came out looking like marshmellows.
Sousa music has a good beat that can keep you steady.
It’s just that you have to be willing to do it in front of a marching band.
With all of this talk of Sousa, would you believe that a google search of “Sexy marching band” comes back with only ten results?
With all of the fetishists and other sexually unique people out there, I would think that marching band porn and erotica would be very popular.
**Nothing kills the mood when you’re doin’ it quite like… **
. . . my dad getting home from work early.
Note: this was several years ago. I do NOT still live with my parents.
I’ve known too many weirdos who were in high school band.
Somebody make a bad pun involving the word “horny,” stat!
Your partner falling asleep during the act. Not only does it totally kill the mood, it’s a major blow to the ego as well. And no, this one’s not from personal experience.
Speaking of musical accompaniment, I had a girlfriend who liked performing fellatio to Saber Dance. She was a multitalented person; a renaissance woman, if you will.