TV's new Fall Bombs - Predictions

Well, it’s summer rerun time, and that’s when I take a certain amount of schadenfreude in predicting which Fall television shows won’t make it for a full season, based upon their capsule descriptions. Let’s face it, most of the time it’s shooting fish in a barrel, but there are occasional surprises:

Hack. Who would have thought that a vigilante cab driver would have made it out of the idea stage, let alone last a couple of years? Mostly on the talent of David Morse and Andre Braugher, but that one surprised me (with its staying power, I still think it was a piece of crap).

Alias. A spy show by the creator of Felicity? Whoda thunkit? And I’m still watching it, and now Abrams can do whatever the hell he wants…

So, here are the links:

ABC

CBS

NBC

For ABC, I’m voting for Commander-In-Chief, with Geena Davis. Just too Hillary for most folks, I think, and you have to be smart if you’re doing political drama. And a show about a woman balancing the needs of being a good mom while serving as the Commander In Chief just isn’t.

For CBS, I was tempted to vote for Closer to Home, but I’m not sure I want to vote against Bruckheimer. I’m voting for Ghost Whisperer, with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Kinda like Patricia Arquette, but more top-heavy.

For NBC, aww WTF, I’m voting against Bruckheimer after all with E-Ring. Dennis Hopper on TV? And he can’t swear or take drugs and he has to wear a uniform? He’ll implode before the season is over.

Any others?

All the new shows look absolutely wretched.

I agree.

Threshold, Kolchak, and Invasion all might be good. Or they might be insipid attempts to repeat Lost and/or the X-Files. I’m guessing the latter.

Likewise, E-Ring might be good if written intelligently. “Bruckheimer” and “intelligent” are seldom seen in the same sentence.

Good call on Commander in Chief. I’d be very surprised if that had any quality at all.

The depressing thing here is that there’s nothing new here. Medium and Lost were two big hits last year, so we’ve got a string of supernatural thrillers. The West Wing was a big hit, and remains fairly popular, so we’ve got political dramas like E-Ring and Commander in Chief.

And then there’s the regular crop of banal sitcoms and hour-long romantic comedies. Can we at least try something new? I’m already watching the shows I like. I don’t need a dozen more just like them.

I thought Jason Lee had more sense than that.

R-i-i-ight! :smiley:

Threshold and Surface look like they could be good, but the networks will probably find some way to stink them up.

With the caveat that there may be some hidden quality that will make these shows better than their precis make them look:

ABC Bomb – Night Stalker. Looks like they took the fun and whimsy elements that made the stories fun to watch and elevated it to serious demon stalking. In other words, dull.

CBS Bomb – How I Met Your Mother – Great idea for a movie or TV movie. But a series? One trick pony will fold quickly if there’s not something more to it.

Four Kings – Four guys are really good buddies and hang around. Another show about nothing, it sounds like. But unless they have Seinfeldian writing talent at work, there’s no “there” there.

Basically, all of the shows look like losers except Threshold and Surface.

Great. Now I can wipe Marisol Nichols and Erika Christensen off of my “I’d Slit My Mother’s Throat to Spend A Weekend In An Anonymous Hotel Room With a Case of Vaseline and This Girl” list.

If you’re implying that Geena Davis isn’t smart, you’re way off. She’s a member of Mensa.

Hmmm, I reread my post and I’m not sure how you interpreted my comment that way. However, let’s try it again…

What I was implying is that a political drama (or sitcom for that matter) has to be smart and engaging or it will self destruct. Look at The West Wing; most of the episodes are fast, witty, and very well written, and the few that aren’t land like lead balloons. I think that this show will eventually devolve into predictable pap like Mom agonizing over not spending enough quality time with the husband and the kids, making time for quick little picnics with the family and a few dozen Secret Service agents, getting advice on getting along with others from the cute but wise 6 year old, ad nauseum…

I like Geena Davis too. I’m sure she *is * smart. But looking at the premise of this show, she’s probably hungry as well.

Leah Remini? Lynsey Bartilson? Noooooo!!!

I LOVE this quote:

“One time I was filming a movie called, Mrs. Santa Clause with Angela Lansbury. She was in the middle of a big emotional scene with me and a fly fell on my nose during a take. I just kept going and didn’t worry about it. If I had started laughing or something it would have been awful, because everyone was very uptight and nervous. Scientology helped me to be able to confront ANY situation.”

All the reviews I’ve read so far have said that My Name is Earl is pretty good and one of the shows to actually watch this fall. Maybe the various reviewers just liked it in comparison to the other awful pilots they had to watch, but it sounds funny to me, and I’ll give it a watch or two.

Damnit. ABC had to ruin the best night of television ever. I used to be able to watch Lost at 8, Mythbusters at 9, and Alton Brown at 10. Now they’ve gone and screwed it up. :mad:

And shame on Jason Lee. A crappy sitcom on NBC? I don’t think it’ll last a month, which is good as it will open up room to bring Scrubs back to the lineup.

Sorry about the hijack, but great Xenu, I had the biggest crush on Lynsey Bartilson (the daughter from Grounded for Life) and Leah Remini was the only reason I watched King of Queens for that half-season.

Random thoughts as I go:
ABC
-Invasion: The 4400 called. They want their idea back.
-Emily’s…: The novel may bring in the women. Heather Graham may bring in the men. Good writing may keep both. My fingers are crossed.
-Commander in Chief: I’ll give it a try, but I’m not hopeful.
-In Justice: Good idea. See my thoughts on Commander in Chief.

CBS and my computer aren’t getting along.

NBC
-Surface: Yawn. Tell you what: include a talking dolphin, Aquaman, and her and we’ll talk. My pick to bomb.
-The Apprentice: Martha Stewart: This is going to be a hit. Curse you, American people!

What? No Fox?
-The War at Home: Confessionals?! It worked for Drawn Together, but with a live action show? BOOM!
-Arrested Development: ITS’ BACK! ITS’ BACK! Just felt like celebrating. Portia d’Rossi isn’t a scientologist, but she is a lesbian. :Grumble:
-Reunion: See Commander in Chief.
Superdude, I didn’t think she was a Mensa member I just wanted to nail her. Mmmm, redheads.

Hey, I love redheads as much as - if not more than - the average guy. But I prefer Kate Winslet or Angie Everhart.

::mumbles something inarticulate and disparaging regarding Brannon Braga, Star Trek, and stinkage::

Another little known fact about Geena Davis.

The only reason I am dubious about the success of the show is the fact that it is a bit too West Wing…then again, I think West Wing will go off the air the minute Martin Sheen leaves, so who knows…maybe Geena will pick up where West Wing left off.

Actually, I am more surprised about the crap that is remaining on the air (King Of Queens is still there?!)…and the Martha Stewart thing looks horrible, but I pretty much hate all reality shows so my bias might be entering into my [del]hope[/del] prediction it will be a bomb.

Then how do you explain Cutthroat Island?

I read the blurb of “Commander-in-Chief”, ugh. Apparently the President who is dying and handing Davis the job wants her to step down and so just most of her party. So she’s going to be fighting her own party as well. Geena against the world. It just seems like it’ll be too cheesy.

She’ll do anything for love? Of course, that doesn’t explain how Renny Harlin manages to get any other actor to agree to appear in his movies…