Dear random worker who is doing random work in my home,
Stop taking 15 minute dumps in my bathroom. It’s fucking disgusting. See that van you rolled up in? The one with the letters and business phone number on the side? Take your fat ass, get in your van and go to the local gas station. Wreck their bathroom. In fact, don’t wreck their bathroom either. The only place you should be taking shits is in your own home, you reckless bathroom stinker asshole.
It’s been two days since you and your partner cleaned the carpets and I still can’t bring myself to use the bathroom you “occupied.” And by the way, you must know that I’m beside myself thinking you could be whacking off in there, in addition to taking a dump. Seriously, why do you think it’s OK to lock yourself in my bathroom for 15 minutes?
Just so I’m clear on this: I’ve had it. You and all your buddies can die from human waste implosion for all I care.
It’s a toilet. It’s supposed to be crapped in. Unless the worker has obviously substandard personal hygeine habits, or doesn’t know how to correctly use the toilet, I think you’re kinda off base here…
Sorry, but when a complete stranger asks to use my bathroom, I’m not expecting them to barricade themselves in there and drop stink bombs that take hours to dissipate. I think it’s disgusting. It seems to happen every single time a worker sets foot in my home, and it grosses me out to no end.
So let me see if I’ve got this straight - you want this man to leave the jobsite get in his truck and drive to his home to releive himself, because he has to crap? How long do you think that would take? An hour? An hour and a half?
I don’t really care how they don’t crap in my home. I don’t care if they have to leave the job site. I don’t care if they have to not eat the 4-lb. double burrito burger for lunch. I’m not going to clean the damn bathroom and get over it. I’m just not going to say yes when they ask to use the bathroom. I thought that was crystal clear.
See, now, this surprises me. If I had someone doing work in my house, I would expect them to use my bathroom. Where else are they supposed to do it? And I have never understood the attitude that one should only shit at home. As little orphan Annie said, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
If I were working in your home, it wouldn’t even occur to me to drive away to use the bathroom. And if you asked, I’d be rather offended, thinking that you were some kind of snob who didn’t want my working-class cooties in your house.
Perhaps that, in the end (pun totally intended), is the thrust of the problem. Working class shit just smells worse than that of the good people of the world. I would suggest that the OP have all of the tiles and fixtures ripped out and replaced, but those workers might have to shit as well and so the potential exists for a loop.
I don’t think I’m suggesting that it’s crazy to have to shit in someone else’s house. I’m sure people come to my home and shit all the time but they are not gone for huge chunks of time and leave my bathroom disgusting. You know, they go to the bathroom and come back. It’s rather uneventful. If I had guests that routinely dropped some toxic mud, I’d think that was rude, too. Sorry.
The workers I’m referring to are in the bathroom for extended periods of time and have left it looking and smelling repulsive. That’s not normal “Ma’am do you mind if I use your bathroom?” etiquette (which I have always been fine with), IMO, and I’m sick of it.
Sat on Cookie, you and I would get along just fine. I have always been unable to do anythingr other than #1 in someone elses bathroom. In fact, I’ve always envied people who could do it, without even giving it a second thought.
You just need to ask the workers if their shit stinks: If they say “yes,” tell them they can’t use your bathroom. If they say “no” tell them to have at it!
On a more constructive note, if you’re really this anal about people crapping in your toilet, you can always rent a port-a-potty when you’re going to be having contractors over. They may feel insulted, but at least their prole poop won’t befoul your ivory throne.
I’m with you, sister. A quick leak? No problem. But dumps are reserved for family and close friends. And the friends better be deathly ill. A 15-minute dump? Fuck…the For Sale sign would have been on the lawn by minute 10.
Well, they could always follow my route. As you may know, I grew up poor, and working-class; sure enough, my shit stank like nobody’s business. But I was able to get an education, a white-collar job, and opportunities to associate with the right people. Today, I shit little puffs of cologne-smelling heather and daises. It’s the darndest thing.
How long were the workers at your house cleaning? I could understand they might need to take a dump if they’re there for an extended period of time. I’d be annoyed if a worker came to do an hour’s worth of work and this happened though.