I’m at work. I have an incredible urge to use the toilet. Some nice fellow used it before me. He pooped on the toiled seat. And didn’t even wipe it off.
Are we talking about a little droplet, or a whole banana?
Is there any disinfectant in the office?
So did you figure this out by sitting before looking? Or were you fortunate enough to spot it before you sat down?
Do tell.
Not a whole banana; however, that is really not the issue. One imagines that some points of courtesy are self evident: if one sprinkles when one tinkles, then one is a sweetie and wipes the seatie, for example, or if one plugs it, then one should plunge it. One imagines that swabbing the poop deck might also be an obvious courtesy.
Nope, looking before sitting. I’m a look-before-you-leap sort of guy.
Why didn’t you take this opportunity to educate your fellow workers on common courtesy? Shoulda ripped that toilet seat right off and stormed through the workplace waving it overhead and screaming, “Who left the shit on the rim? Who did it and didn’t wipe it? All of you, drop trous, squirt one out, and the asshole whose dump is a match cleans this thing with his tongue!”
You are my hero.
Some intrepid sociologist really ought to study public bathroom behaviors. There’s a good thesis in this subject.
I work in a museum. Our main building used to be an old house. Our only bathroom was the one which had been installed in the 1920s (complete with pull chain and wooden toilet seat.) People always treated it respectfully.
Then, last year, we built a new annex which came with a multi-stall public bathroom. It was astonishing to see the change in the way people treated it. Perhaps it was the novelty of the pull chain which made people flush in the old bathroom, but they don’t have the same inclination in our new one. At the end of the day, one of my closing tasks is to go into the bathroom and flush whatever people left behind.
And, yes, poop on the seat is a problem. I have no wish to elaborate further.
I finally got the chance to embarass a poop-on-the-seater, and boy howdy, did I take it. I was in a resturant with multiple stalls in the ladies’ room. I waited my turn, and when I went in, I found the toilet seat in an unusable condition and her leavings bobbing merrily in the bowl. The woman who had used it before me was washing her hands.
“Christ Jesus!” I bellowed, stomping from the stall. “That is disgusting!”
The woman didn’t even rinse her hands, but hastily wiped them on a paper towel, studiously ignoring me, her face flaming red. I hope I humiliated the* fuck* out of her.
Later, of course, I was a bit embarassed by my own boldness, but you know, perhaps people should be called on it when they do something offensive. Too long have we all stood by, muttering under our breath and waiting until we get home on the SDMB to vent. Perhaps its time to bring back public shaming.
Well, we have a bathroom for men and one for women. They’re just regular half-baths, except the men’s had a urinal in addition to the toilet. Since everybody in the office is a woman, except for me, and since they’re insanely territorial about the crapper, there weren’t a lot of options. You see, we share a building with the volunteer fire department, and so there are frequently firemen and sheriff’s deputies using the bathroom. In addition, since this is a township office, the restroom is not infrequently a public convenience. It would be difficult to pin down the offender.
Lissa, that was great. Thanks for sharing.
I am baffled by something I found in the loo at work just this very evening. I walk in, and head for my favourite cube (farthest to the right as you walk in the door). The lid’s up, the seat’s down (as you would expect in a women’s toilet), there’s droplets of pee on the back of the seat…
Waitaminute…
On the BACK of the seat?
I can kind of understand a drop or two on the front of the seat. Goodness knows it happens to the best of us. But how the hell does a woman get pee on the BACK of the seat?
Can you spare a square?
I would like to interject here that a week ago, I had a dream that I shat a coil so long that it filled the bowl to overflowing. I had to stand up to make room for it as it progressed, leaving it arched behind me like a squishy brown vertical Pisa, and when I finally got clear of it, it ended up falling over like the last glop of soft-serve ice cream – draped over the handle so that its weight alone was enough to depress the handle and cause the toilet to flush in futility.
Yeah, it was a pretty fucked-up dream.
Seriously, who shits on the seat?
ponder
The trajectory initiated when standing up quickly, sending the, ah, last few drops arcing backward?
Geez. Only on the SDMB could you get me to think seriously about something like this. 
I have no square to spare.
Gee, thanks for that mental image. That’s lovely.
(We really need a puking smiley.)
No, I can’t spare a square. Not a single square.
So, Lissa, how’s that college education working out*?
-Joe
*doesn’t actually know either way, but a frequent taunting toward a friend who is currently operating a forklift 12 hours a day
Two words: Hover Pee
One must admit, however, that the dream certainly does present a scenario where some poop on the toilet set may be justifiable.
I’d been meaning to post about it, but MPSIMS didn’t seem like the right spot. I was waiting for a lieu TMI thread, but this was a shining opportunity. I don’t know about the puking smiley, though… I think it would get abused.
Yes, as Fear Itself posted- “hover pee”, and it also looks like “hover shit”.
Guys- if you pee in the toilet, as opposed to the urinal- then PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP!
Gals- if you are so afraid of germs that you insist upon a "hover pee’ or “hover shit”- THEN PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP OR USE THE DAMN SEATCOVERS!! Then claen up after yourselves. Strangely- women are the biggest pigs in public toilets. Their home bathrooms may be spotless, but they become rude dirty pigs when using a public restroom. Oh and DON’T FLUSH YOUR USED KOTEX & STUFF DOWN THE TOILET!!!