Favourite quotes

[Mellivora capensis]

What's your favourite quote(s)? {Please remember to quote the author}

Recently:

"Nature, left entirely alone, manages her own affairs. Lion, leopard, wild dog, jackal and other predatory creatures, great and small, and whether of the earth, air or water, have their full place in nature, just as much as the animals on which they are accustomed to prey, and are entitled to equal respect. Understand this, and nature will transform you. Ignore it and she will return armed with a pitchfork."

James Stevenson-Hamilton, founder of the Kruger National Park

(Note to mods: Apologies if in the wrong forum or against board rules on copyright. Feel free to move, lock, slap me about the head, spit on my grave...)

[Large Marge]

“Truth serves only a world that lives by it,” from the movie “Anastasia."

[FairyChatMom]

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.

Richard Feynman's Appendix to the Rogers Commission Report on the Space Shuttle Challenger Accident

[enigmatic]

My favourite -

"Nobody's creepy from the inside, Hazel. Some of them are sad, and some of them hurt, and some of them think they're the only real thing in the world. But they're not creepy." - Death of the Endless

also

"Give a man fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for
the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett

[Kitchen Wench]

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."
Alfred Hitchcock

[Man With a Cat]

I'll screw it up because I couldn't find it to get it exact, but it's by Mark Twain, and anyone that's ever raised a teenager can relate.

"When I was 14, I thought my father to be the stupidest man on the face of the earth. By the time I reached 21, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned."

[Crotalus]

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Arthur C. Clarke

[ftg]

"Everybody wants to go to Heaven but no one wants to die."

I send the following to my former students when they get tenure:

"The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain anymore, so it eats it. (It's rather like getting tenure.)"

- Consciousness Explained by Daniel C. Dennett

[bouv]

"While I may not agree with what you say, i will defend to the daeth your right to say it"
~Voltaire (Probably not the exact words, but close enough)

"I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
~Babylon 5 (said by Marcus Cole, written by J.Michael Strazinsky)

[meow meow]

"Thus do we build castles in air when flushed with wine and conquest."

-The Way of All Flesh, Samuel Butler

and

GOB: "Taste the happy"
MB: "Tastes like sad"

-Arrested Development

[Shodan]

"I hope life isn't just a big joke, because I don't get it." - Jack Handy

Regards,
Shodan

[marque elf]

The universe maximizes towrds perversity.

The quote is from a science fiction writer. Unfortunately, I don't remember which one (which is perverse in and of itself).

[Long Time First Time]

All these are posted around my office:

"When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. " - Mark Twain, Notebook

"There never was yet philosopher that could endure the toothache patiently." - William Shakespeare

"He that will not apply new remedies must accept new evils; for time is the great innovator." - Francis Bacon

[Morgyn]

I love collecting quotes. I have a whole file of them.

These are a couple of my favourites:

You're about to be told one more time that you're America's most valuable natural resource. Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources in this country?...Don't let anyone call you a valuable natural resource. They'll strip mine your soul and clearcut your mind. - Utah Phillips

When I become the Voice of Reason, you know that Reason is standing outside the building, hailing a cab to the Betty Ford Clinic. - Kim Roper

[Mellivora capensis]

Thanks to everyone for your contributions.

"How can one be compelled to accept slavery? I simply refuse to do the master's bidding. He may torture me, break my bones to atoms and even kill me. He will then have my dead body, not my obedience. Ultimately, therefore, it is I who am the victor and not he, for he has failed in getting me to do what he wanted done."

Mahatma Gandhi

[Mellivora capensis]

I've just remembered two older ones which I've carried around for some years now:

"Be a light, not a judge.
Be a model, not a critic.
Be part of the solution, not part of the problem."

Stephen Covey, Seven Habits for Highly Effective People. (At least I think so. Either he quoted it from somewhere else, or it was his quote.)

"Never take anything personally.
Speak with impeccability.
Simply do your best.
Never make assumptions."

Loosely quoted from The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

[enipla]

"A bad anaylogy is like a pair of pants."

- i think it may be somebody's sig...

[FairyChatMom]

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. - Benjamin Franklin


Somehow the Patriot Act made this make a lot of sense to me.

[TwoTrouts]

"If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France -

[mojave66]

"Being a language, mathematics may be used not only to inform but also, among other things, to seduce." -- Benoit Mandelbrot

He's right. I get more women to swoon while explaining the nature of complex numbers than I do telling them what hotties they are.

[MacTech]

"A lack of planning on your part *DOES NOT* constitute an emergency on *my* part"

the intelligence of the planet is a constant, yet the population is growing

"okay, a flying car, now i *have* seen everything..."
"really? have you seen a man eat his own head?"
"no"
"so you *haven't* seen everything, and neither have we"

"the answer to Everything, Life, the Universe and Everything, is.......is.......FORTY TWO"
"i told you you wouldn't like it"

"Life, don't talk to me about life"

travelling thru hyperspace is rather unpleasantly like being drunk
really? what's so wrong about being drunk?
you ask a glass of water....

[Der Trihs]

Some of my favorites :

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

"A cult is a religion with no political power." --Tom Wolfe

The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them which we are missing. -- Gamel Abdal Nasser (former President of Egypt)

First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the trade unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew, so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me. - Martin Niemoeller (1892-1984)

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." -- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

"Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around." -- G.K. Chesterton

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile, it is morally treasonable to the American people." -- Theodore Roosevelt

"Nothing of consequence happened today. " -- Diary of King George III, July 4, 1776

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
- Epicurus

"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction." -- Mark Twain

"Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally." -- A. Lincoln

[swanky_glue]

I can't remember where this came from, but I keep it taped to my monitor. Anytime I'm considering going on a diet, I just read the quote and then grab a cookie.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

[ITR champion]

I don't remember who said this particular quote and I've probably recited it incorrectly, but the gist of it has always stuck in my mind.

"Let us divide the human race into two categories, those who do what they think is good and those who do what they think is evil. With regards to those who do what they think is evil, we may harshly criticize their methods and frown upon their decisions. Nevertheless, history provides few if any instances of them wrecking tremendous damage upon the world. No, indeed any time that pain is inflicted, destruction caused, or death brought about, it is done by a man who thinks he is in the right."

[Miss Purl McKnittington]

"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things." -- Dorothy Parker

Heh. And the amazing thing is that I always have to look this one up to get it right.

[YellowTail]

Thanks for some great ones to add to my collection! Here's a few more:

"Women should be obscene and not heard." --Robert Heinlein

"I would never belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."

--Groucho Marx

"You're only as young as the woman you feel." --Groucho Marx

"You can fool some of the people some of the time ... and that's enough to make a pretty

good living." --W.C. Fields

"Effort enhances the merit of one's deeds." --Buddhist philosopy

"Think of how stupid the average person is and then realize that half the people are

stupider than that!" --George Carlin

"I need to get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini." --H.L. Mencken

[rowrrbazzle]

One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool. --George Orwell, "Notes on Nationalism"

People often ask me my secret. I tell them it's that I still remember how to open a dictionary. --Cecil Adams

[fishbicycle]

"It's all right to look back in the past. But don't stare."
- the late John Robinson, columnist for the Hamilton (ON) Spectator


"Children should be seized and not hard."
- John Lennon (In His Own Write)

[Rhiannon8404]

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's day to day living that wears you out." Anton Checkov


Three of my favorites from Oscar Wilde:

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

"A true friend stabs you in the front."

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. "

[Backwater Under_Duck]

"It isn't true that life is one damned thing after another. Life is one damned thing over and over".
Edma St. Vincent Millay

[Whifton_Polekitty]

"One half the world does not understand the pleasures of the other half."
--Jane Austen

"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're not"
--My friend Jason, who might have lifted it from someplace else. But that doesn't make it any less true!

[Push You Down]

"Love is a lot like shit. You can squish it between your fingers and get it all over yourself.. or you can flush it down the toilet. Either way, it came from your ass."

-Me, 9 years ago in high school.

I apparently said that to a friend and he was so impressed by it he wrote it down. He reminded me of it when I was visiting him a few months ago. My response: "I said that? Man, I AM awesome."

[sneezy5660]

Nerds are like the moist towelettes of the universe-they make everyone else feel good about themselves.-Billy, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

and

[Rhubarb]

"Everyone says it's a small world, but nobody wants to paint it." - Steven Wright

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie" - Dorothy Parker

"It's not so much what we don't know that gets us in trouble. It's all them things we know that ain't so." - Josh Billings

[ccwaterback]

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-- Mother Teresa

[CynicalGabe]

Originally Posted by Push You Down

"Love is a lot like shit. You can squish it between your fingers and get it all over yourself.. or you can flush it down the toilet. Either way, it came from your ass."

-Me, 9 years ago in high school.

I apparently said that to a friend and he was so impressed by it he wrote it down. He reminded me of it when I was visiting him a few months ago. My response: "I said that? Man, I AM awesome."

So eloquent at such a young age!


My $0.02:

"Nothing is to high for the daring of mortals. They would storm heaven itself in their folly"

"Maybe the dingo ate your baby!"

[Kythereia]

Never retract, never explain, never apologize. Get the thing done--and let them howl.

--Nellie McClung


Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

--G.K. Chesterton


Reality is really ruining my life.

--Bill Watterson


Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

--Carl Jung


It's kind of fun to do the impossible.

--Walt Disney

[wolf_meister]

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." Napoleon Bonaparte

"In any moment of decision,the best thing to do is the right thing,the next best thing is the wrong thing,and the worst thing is to do nothing" Theodore Roosevelt

[movingfinger]

"I don't use drugs! I am drugs!---Salvador dali

"If you could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint."--Edward Hopper

"...but when I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of being thought childish."---C. S. Lewis

"Living in Tokyo is like being in someone else's dream."---Wim Wenders

"American taxpayers should be glad they don't get all the government they pay for."--Will Rogers

"I feel closest to hell when I am thinking about money."---Pharoah Sanders

"A peasant will stand on a hillside with his mouth open for a long time before a roast duck flies in"---Chinese proverb

"Why should I be nice to people I meet on the way up? I'm nolt going to be coming back down."---"Colonel" Tom Parker

"Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."---Thomas Jefferson

[soulmurk]

Originally Posted by Morgyn

Quote:
You're about to be told one more time that you're America's most valuable natural resource. Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources in this country?...Don't let anyone call you a valuable natural resource. They'll strip mine your soul and clearcut your mind. - Utah Phillips

Definitely one of my favorites. The whole quote is good:

You're about to be told one more time that you're America's most valuable natural resource. Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources? Have you seen a strip mine? Have you seen a clear-cut in a forest? Have you seen a polluted river? Don't ever let them call you a valuable natural resource! They're gonna strip mine your soul! They're gonna clear-cut your best thoughts for the sake of profit, unless you learn to resist, 'cause the profit system follows the path of least resistance, and following the path of least resistance is what makes a river crooked!

Some others:

Loyalty to the country always; loyalty to the government when it deserves it. -Mark Twain

If you're going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill

Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon. -Winston Churchill

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. -George Bernard Shaw

He who has a 'why' to live can bear with almost any 'how'. -Friedrich Nietzsche

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. -James Branch Cabell

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. -Umberto Eco

[Mississippienne]

I am one half
Bad math
Faceted
Fractured
Subtracted
Divided
Into parts
One mind
Two hearts
Broken
Into less than the sum
Of my parts
A blind artist
Of lost arts
....
I am a broken promise.
I am deceitful ink.
As false as my death certificate
With it's official stamp.
All words are lies.
The truth is written in scars.
-- From David Mack's Kabuki.

"Pain? I am the boiling man... I know pain at the molecular level... it pulls at my atoms... sings to me in an alphabet of fear... come to break the bones of your sins, meat puppet..."
-- From James O'Barr's The Crow.

"Oi can't come to the fuckin' phone at the minute, 'cause oi'm pissed outta me skull at Fisted Sister's on Divisadero. Yeh can leave a message after the beep, yeh bollucks. BEEEP."
-- From Garth Ennis' Preacher.

[OtakuLoki]

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. George Bernard Shaw


Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people. George Bernard Shaw

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.


The Cremation of Sam McGee, Robert W. Service

[LavenderBlue]

"In the midst of winter I found that within me was an invincible summer." Albert Camus

[Askance]

In science it often happens that scientists say, "You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken," and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion. -Carl Sagan, astronomer and writer (1934-1996)

[ccwaterback]

Recall the folksy wisdom of Lewis Grizzard, who was married many times: "Next time, instead of getting married, I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house."

[ccwaterback]

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
-Sam Kinison

[Ranchoth]

Good god, where to begin?

Well, some highlights from my collection, at least. Starting with, I think, my favorite...

“if somebody’s trying to shut you up, sing louder and, if possible, better."—Salman Rushdie

"...I will not be shackled by the failures of your God. The only 'blasphemy' is to wallow in insignificance! I have taken the refuse of your God's failures, and I have triumphed!"
—Herbet West, Bride of Re-Animator

"The great questions of the day will not be settled by speeches and majority decisions, but by blood and iron." - Otto Von Bismarck

"Anyone who clings to the historically untrue - and thoroughly immoral - doctrine 'that violence never settles anything' I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedom."—Robert A. Heinlein

"Freedom to starve is no freedom."
—Harper, Sharpe's Rifles

"[Kipling] sees clearly that men can only be highly civilized while other men, inevitably less civilised, are there to guard and feed them." [Sometimes paraphrased as "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf"]—George Orwell

"My land is where my dead are buried"
—Crazy Horse

"What is strong wins: that is the universal law. If only it were not so often precisely what is stupid and evil!"
-Frederich Nietzsche

[Mellivora capensis]

Wow, some really, really good stuff here. Thanks everyone.

Another:

"In your mental universe, certainty exists only in the dictionary. Somewhere between 'cerebrum' and 'cervix'."

Jean-Claude Koven, in Going Deeper.

[Mellivora capensis]

Shit, apologies, "some" should be "lots of". Lots of really, really good stuff.

[Malacandra]

Originally Posted by marque elf

The universe maximizes towrds perversity.

The quote is from a science fiction writer. Unfortunately, I don't remember which one (which is perverse in and of itself).

"The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum" is Finagle's First Law, by Larry Niven (may his tribe increase!).

OTOH:
"No matter how good she looks, some guy somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her shit" is not.