That girl; The one who has driven me crazy; It looks close to certain that she will move to another continent.
So those here who suggested I should move jobs… nay… off this island… eat your words. I have a lot going for me in this job and as many of my colleagues have reminded me she is more likely to go than me.
I have advized her to do what she thinks is right. As much as I have let myself go crazy for her I am of the understanding that it’s not her fault. She should not leave the island on account of myself. She should leave only if it’s right for her. And to generalize - people should only ever make life-changing decisions based on selfish information. At certain priorities ‘selfish’ is a GOOD concept.
But then we won’t get regular updates about her from you! How will we get our “girl Lobsang is never, ever, ever, ever going to get” news if she moves?
This changes everything. The cost to stalk someone that far away can get out of hand in a hurry. I suggest you take a part-time job to supplement your hobby.
I don’t even know what to say. This sentence makes it clear that you haven’t grasped at the most basic level what most of us have been trying to say to you. You probably don’t even understand this.
Lobsang, I have read all these entries about this girl over the past many months. I found this the other day and it made me think of you and your situation. Read this. Please.
I’m not really familiar with the situation, but many of you others are. And I have to ask: If you knew nothing about Lobsang except for what you’ve read this post, does it not sound like he’s a slightly kooky contestant trying to win Survivor? Read it again…
Oh, and Lobsang, read NailBunny’s link. If you can get some use out of it, you’ll be a much happier person in the near future. And stop drinking to ease the pain. It feels good at the time but worse in the long run, and I’m sure you’ve realized that by now. I once kicked a former “obsession” to the curb. We were “good friends,” but he had no desire to date me and sometimes exploited that fact that I’d do anything for him. I had to make him mad enough at me that he wouldn’t want to be friends with me even if I relapsed. It was hard for a while, and he even told me that it was my crush that had ruined things, but we quit speaking and haven’t spoken for about six years. It’s been a pretty good six years–much, much better than I ever could have imagined “life without him” while I was “obsessed.”
NailBunny’s link is dead on as is Milit the Frail’s post. I was there, too, many years ago and I really ruined my life over it - I’ve since rebuilt it, but it took a long, long time. And I did come to know that, like in the link, it wasn’t love, but hate that made me destroy my own reputation.
Lobsang , if you get through this obsession in one piece you are going to spend the rest of your life regretting the time you wasted. It’s been well - over 20 years since I saw the victim of my obsession. He’s been dead for more than 2, from what I hear. But I still feel very bad about my behavior.
Could you move it to the Pit (serious non-sarcastic question)? I ask because it is my understanding that a lot of what determines a threads “Pit worthiness” is the types of responses that it is probable that it will generate. Given the specific history surrounding this issue, this feels like it qualifies.
It’s been done; nothing at all changed as a result, and I can’t imagine a new round of “pitworthy” responses will have any effect, either. But, you know how to start a new thread as well as anyone else, so knock yourself out if you think it’ll help. Me, I think Lobsang needs to come to grips with the reality of the situation on his own. He’s already demonstrated that he is NOT going to listen to anyone else.
I hope she does move. Far away. Be the best thing for him in the long run, IMO.
Better than or better for?
Anyway, Lobsang, I hope everything works out for you. Maybe not in the way you want, but at least in the way that’s best for you.
