Polling: Popular terms for masturbation

Valteron · November 20, 2006, 5:37pm

Another thread about a guy who masturbates four times a day got me to wondering how many expreessions there are in popular culture for masturbation.

Your contributions are welcome. Here are some I have heard.

Strangling the snake
Milking the snake
The puking lizard
The five-fingered date
The cheap date
Jerking off
Whacking off
Striking oil
priming the pump

In French:

Se crosser (somehow related to Lacrosse)
Se passer un Willy

IT WOULD ESPECIALLY BE FUN TO KNOW IF SOME EXPRESSIONS ARE LOCAL, E.G., THE US SOUTH, ENGLAND, EUROPE.

SiXSwordS · November 20, 2006, 5:40pm

Punching the Munchkin

An_Arky · November 20, 2006, 5:50pm

I’ve heard most of them before…therefore, I’ll make one up. Since most of them male-oriented, I’l make one up for the ladies:

Giving the Man in the Boat a noogie

OneCentStamp · November 20, 2006, 5:54pm

These are always funny (not sure of the source, but they’ve been all over the net for years):

jjimm · November 20, 2006, 5:56pm

UK: “cracking one off” is quite common.

My favourite though - Hong Kong: “Dah feh geh” (literally, “beating the airplane”).

Winston_Smith · November 20, 2006, 6:00pm

Having a pull.

Santo_Rugger · November 20, 2006, 6:13pm

Rub one out.
Beat the meat.
Choke the chicken.

For women: Double clicking the mouse.

Dead_Cat · November 20, 2006, 6:15pm

Most of the following are probably Britishisms:

“Bashing the bishop”
“Spanking the monkey”
“Teasing one out”
“Relaxing in a gentleman’s way”
“Tossing off”
“Fun with Pamela and her five little friends”
“Jacking off”
“Going for a J. Arthur Rank”
“Having a game of 5 against 1”

marshmallow · November 20, 2006, 6:32pm

I’ve always been partial to “flicking* the bean.”

Or your favorite verb.

Hypno-Toad · November 20, 2006, 7:00pm

My roomie and I decided many years ago that really just about and verb and noun can be used in this sense. We just call it “Verbing the Noun.”

Examples:

Stickin’ It To The Man

Exercising The Pocket Veto

Flying Solo

Yanking the Lanyard

Using the Self-Service Pump

George Carlin gave us these for the ladies:

The Two Finger Tango

Makin’ Soup

Beatin’ the Beaver

Cervaise · November 20, 2006, 7:06pm

This is what I’m going to call it from now on.

Kalhoun · November 20, 2006, 7:38pm

Jay Leno referred to it as “Dougy-ing the Howser”. Ya gotta love it.

pravnik · November 20, 2006, 7:43pm

Some friends and I had an informal contest to see who could come up with the best euphemism a few years back. My offer was:

Giving the Champ his Rubdown

A friend came up with:

Having a Stroke of Genius

Enola_Straight · November 20, 2006, 7:44pm

In the Steve Martin flick Parenthood, Keanu Reeves called it Slappin’ the Salami.

CalMeacham · November 20, 2006, 8:07pm

How About

“Straightening the Dope” ?

Sonia_Montdore · November 20, 2006, 8:12pm

“Frig” is used a lot in 19th-century porn.

ZipperJJ · November 20, 2006, 8:16pm

Having a Wank/Wanking is popular in England (at least according to the Bottom live shows)

AskNott · November 20, 2006, 8:27pm

Coming unscrewed.

Take matters in your own hands.

Writing off your losses.

Making sausage gravy.

Whipping heavy cream.

Wax on, wax off.

Purging the prostate.

Handiwork.

Slippindictomy.

Hypno-Toad · November 20, 2006, 8:30pm

I forgot:

Whippin’ up some baby batter.

Malienation · November 20, 2006, 8:56pm

For the ladies:

Pumping the treadle

Goddamnit! I am not resting until this euphemism, uh, takes off.