On what planet is it acceptable for an invitation that read, “You and a guest are cordially invited…” to RSVP with friends, neighbors and your second cousin twice removed?
In addition, where did Emily Post write that you may put a host on the spot to inquire about bringing said people?
My office Holiday Party is next Saturday evening. The event is being held at a country club and being catered very elegantly by a local restaurant. It fell on my shoulders to finalize the plans today and I requested my assistant bring me the final list of attendees so I may give the count to the caterer.
Simple right?
Until I started looking at the list…
Mary Smith plus 3. Amy Jones plus 4 etc.
Always being the calm cool collected one I stormed up to my assistant (noticing that she herself had put an additional 3 guests) and questioned whether she was raised in a barn or is unaware that an invitation to oneself and a guest doesn’t mean whomever you know that would be in for a free open bar and chilled shrimp?
Yes, I embarrassed her and yes, I was totally out of line.
Isn’t it a wonderful thing to behave with less class than that of the person you accuse of classlessness?
At $80 dollars per person, I refuse to add to the caterer count because employees have invited their friends and family for a party on my dime.
Now how do I tell these people that they need to stick to the original invitation without spreading bah humbugs through my company?
You’d still better station someone at the door, to make sure that every single person coming in either holds an invitation or is accompanying a person with an invitation, and in the latter case, that there’s only one such person. Because otherwise these cretins will assume that “no” means “Oh heck, bring 'em anyway, we can always pull up another chair!”
If I worked for you, you wouldn’t have anything to worry about, because I wouldn’t attend a work function on a Saturday night even if you allowed me to bring my family, my friends, my pets, my house plants, and the first 50 people I could recruit off of the street.
Then send out a message to everyone who added more than their one invited guest with a bill for the $80 per person to pay for all those extra people. Hey, if they want to foot the bill, why not let them bring extra people? I’d be willing to bed that nobody coughs up the $$ just to bring Aunt Mary, though.
I apologize for any confusion, but due to space and budget considerations, each employee attending the party may bring one guest. Please RSVP by (short deadline) whether you will attend and whether you will be bringing a guest.
Then just tell the caterer the max number will be 2X your employee roster - and you’ll get a more specific # ASAP. If anyone is still too stupid/rude to comply, well, you may wish to consider whether you want someone like that working for you.
Of course, you should be able to do bosslike duties without embarrassing your subordinates.
And, if the party is too much of a hassle, why not drop it? As was stated above, I have no desire to socialize with my boss/co-workers over the weekend. I’d prefer that you cut me a check for $160 and I’ll take myself out to dinner.
The employees are tragically stupid, but whoever was accepting the RSVP’s is really at fault. This person should have immediately gone back and said, “Oh, you misread the invitations, it reads ‘guest’ not ‘guests’.” I’d make it this idgit’s problem to fix. I wouldn’t become the bad guy cleaning up their mess.
Classless you may have been, but anyone who would decide that “you and a guest” means “me, my wife, and the kids” is waaaay out of line. The simple number of guests allowed is a blatant indication that this is a an adults-only affair meant for a cozy atmostphere with people who likely know each other.
Seriously, you need a brief talk with your employees and let them know what the party is about, then ask people to RSVP again with their (single) invitee’s name. You may want to hire a few sitters (wouldn’t cost much extra) to watch the yung’uns for a few hours.
You can bet that this person (your admin?) actively contributed to the confusion for her own reasons. The real root cause for this can be traced to whoever she wanted to invite but knew she shouldn’t. So while making it her mess to clean up, also stress that if she points blame at you or the company while cleaning it up, she can expect a pink slip for Christmas. Trust me on this… if she’s fool enough to screw up the RSVP process, she’s fool enough to paint you as Scrooge in order to avoid embarrassment.
Bummer. Well, maybe you could tell them that the caterer can’t handle more than what you had planned? I imagine during the busy season, it might be hard for a caterer to accomodate twice the number of people?
Bah humbug…do you get that she is trying to do something nice for her employees?
Now maybe that should be another thread. Personally, I would love to just close the office early and have food brought in but when I suggested this, it did not go over at all.
This party is the hightlight of the year. Everyone comes and many stay long after the caterers have cleaned up. We have a DJ that will keep playing all night if desired and it often is. The employees even plan hotel rooms downtown so they do not have to drive home. That fact that it is such an event is why the employees want to bring others to share the joy (and the Ketel One)
To me, it is an obligation and the fact that I need to stay until the last person leaves, an annoyance. However, in the interest of morale, I will do what the employees desire.
Then give them the $160 as a cash bonus, or (better yet) give them a little extra time off around the holidays to spend with their friends and family. That will be appreciated!
Cross-posted with the above . . . well, if people say they want it . . . and they think they can bring more guests . . . then they’re doofuses.
You can always say that the catering is already pretty much set and you cannot exceed one guest per person, ever so sorry, etc.
I was trying to be correct last night. I gave my boyfriend an invitation to take to his Mason meeting for somebody we wanted to invite to my parents’ Christmas party, but I didn’t know his wife’s name and I didn’t want to say “and Guest” for somebody he’d been married to for sixty years, so I just instructed the boyfriend to hand it to him discreetly and make sure he knew to bring his wife. But I told the boyfriend that a week before, and the day of I just stuck the invitation in with some Christmas presents for orphans he was taking also.
So, um, we need to make some phone calls today because otherwise some poor orphan is going to get a lovely invitation to a Christmas party. Awwwwwkward. And my boyfriend is pissed as hell because it’s my fault and I expect him to fix it. (Sorrrry. Humiliating.)
Am I the only one who finds this portrayal of your happy work family somewhat at odds with my recollection of your past threads which seem to be heavily slanted towards describing your employees’ incompetence, greed, etc.?
Just saying, a whole lot of - um - drama seems to follow you in your work and family life (which I believe are somewhat intertwined.)
I dunno, it doesn’t seem like she’s describing a “happy work family.” To me it sounds like she’s once again describing a really cool thing she does for her employees because she’s nice like that, and they are once again trying to take advantage of her.
I don’t see this story as any different than her others about her ungrateful, raised-in-a-barn employees or the boss that gives too much.
Foxy what business are you in? I want to come work for you! I promise I won’t ask to borrow any money and I’ll show up sans guest at your parties!
I don’t care if you’re holding the party at the damn Citrus Bowl. You’re allowed to limit your guest list, regardless of the size of the venue, since you’re footing the bill.
I think Dinsdale put it quite nicely. Assume :rolleyes: there’s been some confusion, and remind everyone it’s Employee Plus One.
