Public service announcement (aka mild recreational outrage):
This is for those who like to run 3-hour meetings, conference calls, etc, and think they’re cleverly avoiding a delicate subject by using these delicate business-speak euphemisms “nature break” or “biology break” to declare a 5-minute you-know-what break.
Just call it a goddamned break, OK? Whether you say “biology” or “nature” or “bathroom”, you’re not avoiding anything; in fact you’re specifically calling attention to the fact that we’re all about to go take one giant poo. ‘Biology break’ makes me envision not only defecation but the entire second half of the digestive system. ‘Nature break’ makes me envision someone shitting in the woods and wiping their arse on a tree.
If you’re trying to get everyone specifically to think about bodily functions, then just say “Let’s all go take a dump”. If on the other hand you’re trying to be discreet, just say “Let’s all take 5 minutes, sharp.” Presto, issue avoided. If someone takes more than 5, then you can point at him and say “That guy took a biology break.”
In closing, if you’re trying to euphemize, don’t emphasize. Thank you.
I never thought bio-breaks (as they were referred to where I last worked) were meant to be a delicate euphemism for bathroom break, but rather a term that was inclusive of going to both the bathroom and Starbucks.
Last week I left the ward to use the bathroom so I asked the nurses to let anyone looking for me know that I had just left momentarily and would be right back.
When I returned I found my consultant having a fit of giggles in the office. One of the nurses had told him I was making a “personal pitstop” and he found the expression so hilarious he was unable to work properly for about 5 minutes.
I’m all in favour of “running a personal errand” or “seeing to a personal matter” but seriously, “personal pitstop”?
Why not just say, “take a break”? People have their own reasons for taking a break. Maybe they’re not voiding their bowels and bladder; maybe they’re frantically masturbating or praying (or both at the same time).
Five minutes, though, isn’t nearly long enough. If you’re going to break, it might as well be fifteen.
IME the people who say “let’s take five minutes” don’t really expect the break to be 5 minutes long. They expect it to be more like 15, (if a bit less than that,) but if they said 15, people would be later than 15. So saying 5 minutes makes it 15 in actuality.
I’ve been in situations where “break” and “bio break” had different meanings.
When I used to raid in World of Warcraft, a “bio break” meant “I’m going straight to the bathroom and straight back”… i.e. 3-5 minutes. Typically asking a group to take a “bio break” was intended to be a fast break because we needed it.
Taking a “5 minute break” meant people could go grab food, drinks, a smoke, and so on. “5 minute breaks” typically would be a little longer because of this, and lateness was more expected.
Perhaps it’s odd to ask people to all time their functions and needs, but when you’re trying to get forty people to do the same thing in the same 5 seconds, it sort of comes with the territory.