I'm Not Gay, But......

In My Humble Opinion
1

…I know people (in my immediate circle - not **y’all **) wonder about me and some of them draw the wrong conclusions because I just never felt the need to re-marry.

That makes me what:

  1. Eccentric

  2. Afraid

  3. Effiminate (I admit I do have those tendencies: I cry watching sad movies, I’m a “hugger” (sue me), and I write poetry.)

  4. Nutso

Honestly though, I’m just a guy who’s a loner, who has had failed realtionships and is very, very deep and hard to get to know.

Hell, you Dopers are my most intimatefriends, because I can express myself here better than in real life!

So yeah, that used to bother me a lot, wondering what people are wondering, I mean.

But it occurs to me: so few people know me, so few know what makes me happy, what interests me, how very deeply I care, that I don’t think I would want to leave the planet with people thinking, “Jesus, what an unhappy guy, may he rest in peace!”, because that just would not be the case!

Are any of you concerned about peoples’ misconceptions about you or does it matter?

I’m gonna give you a “for instance”:

I have “bags” under my eyes, and when I am caught not smiling, people are apt to tell me “Cheer up, Bill!” when I’m not even sad!

That shit has followed me all of my life, and at first I thought it was funny, but when someone compared me to that damn whining cartoon dog, I said, “That’s it!” and started asking “what makes you think I need cheering up?”, and that did the trick.

But really: are you okay with what people think of you, or do they need a knot jerked in their tail? :slight_smile:

Bill

2

I’m not gay either, and I wish people would understand that its ok for me to be straight and love the Cure and New Order. I wish I was joking, but I’ve had more than a few people make assumptions just because of my musical tastes.

3

I’m also not gay, even though I think Brad Pitt is a dreamboat and I’m probably better than my wife at picking hot clothes for her at the mall. And I DO NOT cry at movies – there’s just a lot of dust in the air and it aggravates my allergies.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m confortable with who I am, even if who I am is a shy, geeky guy who giggles at fart jokes and dresses up like Superman on a semi-regular basis 'cuz I like how I look in blue tights. I don’t really care much at this point about what other people think about me, so long as I can look myself in the mirror every day and know that I’ve been the best me I can be. :slight_smile:

4

Well, I am not straight, but when I was younger and working in offices and schools at various places, and I would mention I was Gay, I had more than one person say, “No you’re not.”

I guess I didn’t fit into their stereotype of what a Gay person looks and talks like.

I always thought it would be funny to have a picture of me having sex with a guy and pulling the photo out and say, “See. Look here!”

5

Heh, is it ok for me to be straight and like music like Toy-Box, Aqua, and Smile.dk? Heck, the “hardest” music I have in my library (that I regularly listen to) is t.A.T.u., a duet of pseudo-lesbians. Aside from my musical tastes, though, (and I don’t exactly broadcast them to everyone) I’m not particularly effeminate.

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

6

Dude. Just sounds like you don’t have any friends. I have a wife so friends are of no use.

Don’t let it get you down. If you’re gay get a boyfriend. If you’re not, or even if you are and don’t wan’t the attachment, get some one to hang out with. Could be a guy or a girl. Not all women are looking for mr. right but many are looking for a good friend. You might think your an odd ball but I’d be willing to bet there is someone out there a lot like you that would enjoy having some one like you to hang out with. You seem like a very good human being to me, not that I’m an expert or anything, but from reading your blog you seem like a decent man. Full of all the things that make us who we are. Both good and bad.

Hang tough, my brother. It’ll all come right.

7

Don’t think I’m thinking you’re gay. I was too late to edit, but it just seems like you need someone to share yourself with. That need I do believe is universal. Everyone needs a partner. Being alone is a very hard road. It took many of my adult years to figure this out, so I hope you’re not offended.

8

You, sir, are a light weight.
IANGE (Not gay either) but I:

  1. Have a sewing machine and sew pillow cases. Sew clothes also. For me.
    a. The pillow case is shocking pink.
    b. Which matches my other shocking pink pillowcases.
    c. Which matches my Shocking pink bedspread.
  2. Over 50, never married. (Too picky-still like 'em in their 20s & 30s-less takers now)
  3. Voice, less deep, resonant than one of my size, age.
  4. I will go to almost any length to avoid a verbal altercation (quite ready for fisticuffs, tho- Mid life crisis not entirely over, I guess.)
  5. Don’t like watching sports, hate superbowl, don’t even know what a division, sports division/league is.
  6. Very picky dresser.
  7. Prefer gossiping with women over beer w/the guys.
  8. Drink w/ pinky extended.
    Ad infinitum.

I am still concerned with what people think of me. In a world that is constantly changing, and becoming more pro-gay, you can bet that the ones that think that I’m gay will be the ones that are becoming more anti-gay, and who think that anything more than t-shirts and jeans are a sign of high fagdom.
These people may try to do me dirt, and I like to remove as much temptation from them as possible, i.e., don’t let their foolish imaginations run unchecked. It is a losing battle, I discern.

9

Okay, with the exception of 6 of your criteria (?), we sort of have some stuff in common, but considering the exceptions, are you certain you aren’t “courting” these opinions?

Or perhaps I am being “whooshed”?

Wouldn’t be the first time…:confused:

One thing’s for certain: In comparison to you, yes, I am a “lightweight”.

And that is being written as honestly and sincerely as I know how, and with no animosity whatsover.

Q

10

You guys are so gay.

11

How dare you, Sir??? :mad::):wink:

Why, I’ll have you know, that the only thing about my demeanor that is “gay” , is my NOSE!

Therefore I send you a nosegay of THISTLES, and whap you upside da head wid mah hankie!

Suh! :wink:

Da noive of dose Guys!

J/K:D:D:D

Quasi

12

[Cartman]: Kyle, all those times I called you a stupid Jew? I didn’t mean it. You’re not a Jew.

[Kyle]: Yes I am, Cartman. I am a Jew.

[Cartman]: No, no, don’t be so hard on yourself.

13

I’m not straight, and I’m always correcting people who assume I am (if it matters to me what they think).

I do not listen to gay music (except for gay choruses, one of which I’m a member (low bass)).

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for over 21 years.

I don’t drink and I don’t go to bars.

I don’t color my hair.

My favorite store is Home Depot.

I like watching the Olympics (not just male swimming and figure skating).

I’ve never been on a gay cruise, and can’t imagine anything more boring.

I don’t enjoy anal sex.

14

There’s gay choruses? Are there many?

15

God, isn’t it great that we can be so relaxed with each other, and still talk about goofy shit that bothers us?

Can you get this kind of attention around the water cooler?

No, you cannot!

God Save the Kinks (and the Dope!)
:smiley:
Quasi

16

I am gay so such stereotyping doesn’t bother me that much but I don’t come across as screaming queer in person. I hope we’ll move past this male = this, female = that mentality at some point and simply accept people for who they are, and consequently not make assumptions about (or indeed care) whether they’re putting tab A into slot B, or slot C.

17

When I was in high school, I had a friend who many people took for a lesbian. I was never sure what they were basing it on. Didn’t have a boyfriend? No, but she wanted one, bad. I talked her through a very painful instance of crushing on a guy who asked her sister out instead. Didn’t have a womanly figure (chunky, no waistline)? What did that have to do with anything? Didn’t wear makeup or dresses? She was too selfconscious to put herself on display like that. Anyway, if she had, the same people would probably have said “Who does that d— think she’s fooling?” At one point, there was a rumor going around that she’d been “caught with another girl in the bathroom.” What other girl, I asked. No one knew, of course, and when I pressed the advantage by pointing out that she liked guys and it wasn’t her fault they didn’t like her, someone sneered and said, “That’s 'cause they can tell. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

I’unno. I suppose someone could be in denial, but for me, the deciding factor was her undeniable interest in guys. Last I heard, she was married to a guy, but that’s all I know.

18

Hundreds, all over the world. Probably in a city near you.

19

I’m the most “feminine” straight man I know.

I don’t like sfi-fi, fantasy, sport, action movies, men’s magazines, or computer games. I can do a bit of DIY and fix basic engine problems in cars too, but most of my pursuits are the ones labelled by society as “feminine”.

I quite like chick flicks and I really like Sex and the City.
I cry at weepy movies.
I cry at beautiful poetry.
I cry at novels.
I love cooking.
I can knit.
I can sew.
I have read three Marian Keyes books, one Rachel Jewel, and a Maeve Binchy.
I once set out to write a romantic potboiler called Typhoon of the Heart, under the pseudonym “Daniella Diamond”.

In my latest relationship I’m forcing myself to be a bit more domineering - or as I would have previously said, “a bossy sexist” (curse you 1980s unreconstructed feminists who browbeat me throughout school and college).

I’m finding that she likes it. :slight_smile:

20

Well, i’m not gay and I don’t find any male actor attractive.

Except from the guy from “Sons of Anarchy”. Gee, that kid is pretty.

But that’s it!