The "I'm Not Gay, But..." Thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

To all the straight men and straight women I ask this…

For instance if you’re a straight male you might say

“Now I’m not gay, but I do enjoy musical theatre.”

Or if you’re a straight female.

“Now I’m not gay, but I do enjoy dressing up as a lumberjack.”

Disclaimer: This is all in fun :slight_smile:

So straight men and straight women, do you have “gay habits?”

2

“I’m not gay but I straighten my hair”

and, err…

“I’m not gay but I’d do Johnny Depp”. That count?

3

I’m not gay but I don’t wear makeup.

(female)

4

I’m not gay, but I wear Birkenstock clogs almost exclusively.

5

I’m not gay but I can catch and clean a fish! And fry it up in a pan, too. :smiley:

6

I like musicals, theatre, eating at little homey cafes with my Mom & her female friends. When Mom asks me clothes & jewelry advice, I can actually tell her what to wear & give good reasons for it. If Mom & I are going somewhere & we dress in similar colors, we laugh & usually don’t bother to change.

And of course, I’m in my 40’s & live with Mom.

7

I’m not gay but I trim my body hair.

I’m not gay but I don’t like football or baseball.

I’m not gay but I like fancy, luxurious clothes.

8

I’m not gay but I

[ul]
[li]don’t care about cars or sports[/li][li]am mechanically inept[/li][li]can cook, clean house and fold a fitted sheet[/li][li]have a decidedly catty sense of humor[/li][li]like musicals and can sing a number of show tunes from memory[/li][li]have a good knowledge of women’s fashion[/li][/ul]

At various points in my life my parents and several of my friends and acquaintance have assumed I’m gay.

But I’m not.

9

I’m not gay, but I’ve been outted.

The story was told in an MMP long ago, and is now part of my list of fire and rescue tales.

10

I’m not gay, but…I AM an artist by trade, I don’t get into sports, I’m in charge of cooking, cleaning and laundry, I’m our child’s primary caregiver, I’m very well-mannered, I dress interestingly, and I could easily imagine a scenario wherein I’d kiss Johnny Depp.

OK, I AM gay; I just like sex with women rather then men.

11

I’m not gay but I do enjoy watching lesbians make out.

Does that count?

12

I’m not gay but I am a big fan of female singer-songwriters.

13

I’m not gay, but at parties, family gatherings, and what-not, I generally would rather hang out with the women than the guys.

I’m not gay, but I’m very sensitive.

I’m not gay, but my clothes take up probably 75% of the closet I share with my wife.

I’m not gay, but I like shopping. For my wife, not so much for myself.

14

I’m not gay but I don’t carry a purse, and I do carry my wallet in the back pocket of my pants.

15

I’m not gay but I…

can’t stand sports and if I get stuck going to a game, I’ll take a book.

would be willing to be intimate with a man, if we found each other appealing and had a good relationship, (ie no one-night stands or anonymous experiences) and if the wife agreed to bring someone else into the relationship.

She on the other hand has said she’d rather bring in another female and just not participate, but I’m not interested in that since she is really all I want.

16

Yes…but are you gay? :wink:

I’m not a lesbian, but I own a Subaru.

17

I’m not gay but
I have tools and I will assemble things I buy.
I have a gas grill and if there is any grilling to do, I do it.
(Yes, I put the gas grill together, too.)

18

I’m not gay but I know how to weld and use a plasma cutter. And I never wear makeup.

19

Ditto.

Double ditto.

20

I’ve already asked a friend of mine to say this at my funeral:

“Kunilou wrote fashion copy, loved musicals and could dish with the best of us. Who would’ve believed he was straight, too?”