How does someone "quit" a message board?

[cmyk]

For godsakes, it's a fucking message board, it's not a relationship. You punch a bookmark, browse the thread titles to see if anything interests you, and if not, you move on to your stupid ILURVESCATZLOL.com page or whatever other lame site you visit to avoid doing actual work (because we're all procrastinators, that's why we're here).

If you don't care to ever come back, then just don't. What's the point in announcing it? What kind of masturbation is that? Chances are no one remembers who you are anyway — or even cares, for that matter. What do you want? Anonymous people on a MB to beg you to keep lurking? It's asinine.

And if you're doing it because you think you're protesting something, bullshit. Request to be banned then, then I'll believe you're sincere. Maybe.


ETA: Linky here, to one of many examples I've seen on this board over the years.

[Rand Rover]

Hey SDMB . . . I wish I knew how to quit you!!

[cmyk]

Brokeback Messageboard.

[jali]

I'm feeling relationship-ey with some of the members here.

I play games with some on a regular basis. I've exchanged Christmas and Valentine's Day cards with others.

If any of them leaves, I'd like the opportunity to say goodbye.

Bless your heart, don't you have any friends here?

[Zeldar]

Every now and then I'll feel the need for a break, after some span of time checking in every day for most of the day, posting left and right and having what passes for fun to me. Once the fun begins to fade I'll cut back on my activity and find something else to do, usually online somewhere.

During football season (late August - early February) if I check in at all it's mostly to see the Death Pool and any other threads on hot (or urgent) topics.

When I decide to stay away I just don't post. That leaves open the option of coming back whenever I feel like it. If I have been absent for a prolonged period I will find (it's happened a few times) by way of a vanity search on my username if and where I have been mentioned, and if that warrants an explanation or an answer to some question I will respond.

Otherwise, I sense that my presence is a lot like all but a few of the really heavy users here, responded to if I have said something of interest, or not responded to if I haven't. I don't take either of those actions personally. As I see it, the huge number of people posting here, some for going on ten years (maybe longer), keeps the forums full of interesting things to read and contribute to. Only the really indispensible types are truly missed for any length of time. If I had to guess, I'd put that number at less than 20. And I can't even name them.

But I do have my favorite Dopers and if I have been away for a while, I'll try to find if they're still active. Now and then a real favorite won't show up for a while. My first assumption is that they're just taking a break, too. If I find evidence that something bad or drastic may have happened to them, I will feel a real loss. Fortunately, most of my buddies keep plugging away with clever, witty or downright funny things and that tends to brighten my day. All in all, I like this place.

One man's opinion.

[Bryan Ekers]

For God's sake, don't tell ILURVESCATZLOL.com you're qutting.


They'll get you.

[Jack Batty]

I quit once, for about two years. I didn't mention that I was leaving, I just stopped posting. Then two years later, imagine my chagrin when I came back only to find out there hadn't been a mass suicide in protest and that the place was still actually running without me.

I won't let you fuckers off so easy next time.

[Knowed Out]

I don't get the "I'm Leaving!" posts either. It's just a cry for attention to see how many people respond.

You want to remembered for the way you were, or the snit you threw when you left? Just maintain a dignified silence.

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by jali

I'm feeling relationship-ey with some of the members here.

I play games with some on a regular basis. I've exchanged Christmas and Valentine's Day cards with others.

If any of them leaves, I'd like the opportunity to say goodbye.

Bless your heart, don't you have any friends here?

I do, I've met several dopers at some Dopefests, and consider them my friends. Besides that, there are a few that I haven't met, personally but have talked with outside of this board. If that were the case, I'd PM them, or send them an email, and It'd be nice to receive something likewise if the case were reversed.

Also, "This place sux! Cya later, fuckers!" is far different than a hiatus, for whatever reason (extended vacation, something tragic in their lives, long hospital stay, etc.).
There's no sense in announcing you'll never be back, because I just don't buy it.

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by cmyk

Also, "This place sux! Cya later, fuckers!" is far different than a hiatus, for whatever reason (extended vacation, something tragic in their lives, long hospital stay, etc.).

There's no sense in announcing you'll never be back, because I just don't buy it.

I second this. The sad thing is that WHEN you come back you either have to just read or else look like a total turd when you do post. Double whammy!

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by Zeldar

Every now and then I'll feel the need for a break, after some span of time checking in every day for most of the day, posting left and right and having what passes for fun to me. Once the fun begins to fade I'll cut back on my activity and find something else to do, usually online somewhere.

During football season (late August - early February) if I check in at all it's mostly to see the Death Pool and any other threads on hot (or urgent) topics.

When I decide to stay away I just don't post. That leaves open the option of coming back whenever I feel like it. If I have been absent for a prolonged period I will find (it's happened a few times) by way of a vanity search on my username if and where I have been mentioned, and if that warrants an explanation or an answer to some question I will respond.

Otherwise, I sense that my presence is a lot like all but a few of the really heavy users here, responded to if I have said something of interest, or not responded to if I haven't. I don't take either of those actions personally. As I see it, the huge number of people posting here, some for going on ten years (maybe longer), keeps the forums full of interesting things to read and contribute to. Only the really indispensible types are truly missed for any length of time. If I had to guess, I'd put that number at less than 20. And I can't even name them.

But I do have my favorite Dopers and if I have been away for a while, I'll try to find if they're still active. Now and then a real favorite won't show up for a while. My first assumption is that they're just taking a break, too. If I find evidence that something bad or drastic may have happened to them, I will feel a real loss. Fortunately, most of my buddies keep plugging away with clever, witty or downright funny things and that tends to brighten my day. All in all, I like this place.

One man's opinion.

Totally understood. Basically, for me, it's don't go away mad, just go away. If you need a break from the site, because it's getting boring or mundane, then ease back. Fine.

I also agree about the heavy hitters, they're the only exception. No need to name names, because everyone who's been here long enough to care about them, knows who I'm talking about. They, themselves know they are large and well-known dopers (yes you do... don't be modest), and I would be grateful for a public message from them as to why they feel they're going away forever. But for semi-lurker's like the rest of us, there's no need. I can, should and do recede or become as prolific as I wish, without a public decree.

Again, I don't buy the "I'm never coming back again" routine. When it's as easy as clicking a bookmark in a moment of boredom, what's stopping you?

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by Zeldar

I second this. The sad thing is that WHEN you come back you either have to just read or else look like a total turd when you do post. Double whammy!

Zactly. Why do that to yourself?

Like Knowed Out said, it's attention whoring. And look, I'm all for attention whoring, but at least be honest about it, and don't make it self-limiting. That's just idiotic.

[mutantmoose]

I would like to use this thread to take the opportunity to announce that I'm leaving.

I've had many good times here over the years and made many good friends but I don't like the direction the board is taking and it is with great sadness that I now have to say that I will not be posting here any more.

Thank you Straight Dope and may I wish you and all who post here the best of luck in the future.

[mutantmoose]

ok I'm back.

[Missy2U]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

I quit once, for about two years. I didn't mention that I was leaving, I just stopped posting. Then two years later, imagine my chagrin when I came back only to find out there hadn't been a mass suicide in protest and that the place was still actually running without me.

I won't let you fuckers off so easy next time.

Dammit, Jack - the same thing happened to me!! Who'da thunk it?

[CarnalK]

Originally Posted by cmyk

Zactly. Why do that to yourself?

Like Knowed Out said, it's attention whoring. And look, I'm all for attention whoring, but at least be honest about it, and don't make it self-limiting. That's just idiotic.

Whenever these brouhahas flare up there is always a few people saying "You're all complaining but almost nobody is really going to leave over this" so maybe some people just want to loudly say "Well I am". That doesn't have to be interpreted as attention whoring.

[accidentalyuppie]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

I quit once, for about two years. I didn't mention that I was leaving, I just stopped posting. Then two years later, imagine my chagrin when I came back only to find out there hadn't been a mass suicide in protest and that the place was still actually running without me.

I won't let you fuckers off so easy next time.

I once quit another message board.......for personal reasons, nothing to so with the board but my life got really grim and serious for a few years and I didn't feel like sharing so I took a two year break-- I just went away because I didn't even feel like explaining my situation

Imagine my suprise when I decided to start lurking again and almost immediately stumbled on a post where someone was missing me and wondering about my long absence. Pure coincidence but quite an ego boost.

[Westrogothia]

Originally Posted by Zeldar

I second this. The sad thing is that WHEN you come back you either have to just read or else look like a total turd when you do post. Double whammy!

Its the grown up equivalent of "fuck you guys Im going home/telling my mom".
Well maybe not that grown up.

And I was gonna write this huge post on how messageboards are all about relationships and gessellschaft and gemeinschaft and negotiated identitys but... that would be admitting Id studied sociology.

[tim314]

Originally Posted by cmyk

And if you're doing it because you think you're protesting something, bullshit. Request to be banned then, then I'll believe you're sincere. Maybe.

What the hell is this "request to be banned" bullshit? If you're protesting the fact that you can't call Ed Zotti a cunt, then just post a thread titled "Hey, Ed Zotti, you're a ____" (insert obvious last word), and the banning will take care of itself.

I don't mean to try to instigate anything. Personally I think deliberately getting yourself banned is stupid. But if you're going to do it, doing it by politely requesting to be banned is lame as fuck.

[The Tof]

I think it's 2 parts: HEY EVERYBODY LOOKY HERE.. I AM CREATING DRAMA! LOOK AT ME!

1 part: I've been here a long time, some people I consider friends and I'd hate to *never* see them again... so I'd like to at least say goodbye and make sure I am reachable somehow.

[Jack Batty]

Originally Posted by accidentalyuppie

Imagine my suprise when I decided to start lurking again and almost immediately stumbled on a post where someone was missing me and wondering about my long absence. Pure coincidence but quite an ego boost.

Truth be told, I had a similar experience here. It wasn't the reason I decided to start posting again, but it was a convenient in.

I'd found a thread from a year after I stopped posting about "whatever happened to these posters" or something and I was mentioned. So there you go.

But still. No suicides. What the fuck?

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by mutantmoose

ok I'm back.

Now this is the new standard one-minute comeback. Welcome back, mutantmoose! Missed you like you'll never know.

[The Hamster King]

I think it's intended to send a message to the admins that QUALITY PEOPLE ARE QUITTING IN DROVES over the AWFUL NEW RULES THAT ARE DESTROYING THE BOARD.

Yeah, right.

I've been posting here for almost nine years. Something is always destroying the board.

[Missy2U]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

But still. No suicides. What the fuck?

Well I for one was depressed - does that help?

[cmyk]

Originally Posted by tim314

What the hell is this "request to be banned" bullshit? If you're protesting the fact that you can't call Ed Zotti a cunt, then just post a thread titled "Hey, Ed Zotti, you're a ____" (insert obvious last word), and the banning will take care of itself.

I don't mean to try to instigate anything. Personally I think deliberately getting yourself banned is stupid. But if you're going to do it, doing it by politely requesting to be banned is lame as fuck.

Because, making a point is all in the means, not just the end result. There's a difference there.

[Marley23]

Originally Posted by tim314

What the hell is this "request to be banned" bullshit?

It's supposed to make people curious about why you got banned, and I guess it makes sure you don't embarrass yourself by reconsidering and then continuing to post instead of Sticking To Your Guns. Or maybe they think message boards are like Lays: if it's there, you can't help posting, just like you can't eat just one.

Other times, people ask to be banned for reasons that are just plain ridiculous.

[Jodi]

Props to mutantmoose for making me LOL.

[choie]

Originally Posted by Pochacco

I've been posting here for almost nine years. Something is always destroying the board.

Well for pete's sake! Maybe if you left we might see some improvement!




(Sorry ... you can't just post a straight line like that and expect us to ignore it. )

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally Posted by Marley23

It's supposed to make people curious about why you got banned, and I guess it makes sure you don't embarrass yourself by reconsidering and then continuing to post instead of Sticking To Your Guns. Or maybe they think message boards are like Lays: if it's there, you can't help posting, just like you can't eat just one.

Other times, people ask to be banned for reasons that are just plain ridiculous.

Jesus that whole things was fucked up. I assume if6was9 has started drinking again.

[lieu]

Old Charter?

[Alice The Goon]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

Truth be told, I had a similar experience here. It wasn't the reason I decided to start posting again, but it was a convenient in.

I'd found a thread from a year after I stopped posting about "whatever happened to these posters" or something and I was mentioned. So there you go.

But still. No suicides. What the fuck?

Well, yeah, that was me. You were one of my first Doper stalkees, I mean crushes. I missed you. I'm so glad you came back just before I took those pills... whew.

Re the op, ha- exactly. This whole "breaking up with the SDMB" thing has me seriously confused and also entertained. I have made friends on here- in fact have formed somewhat deep relationships that will affect me for the rest of my life, but you know those people have email addresses and phone numbers and real addresses, too, and whatnot. (Right, Jack? heh) Because they are real people, I am not limited in contact with them to a messageboard. You're breaking up with a meeting place, not the people in it! It's ridiculous the amount of drama people can create over relatively nothing.

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by mutantmoose

ok I'm back.

Now, that was funny, right there.

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by lieu

Old Charter?

Goddammit, lieu, there's a lot of work ahead for somebody to top this as Post Of The Day!

[Borborygmi]

Originally Posted by Pochacco

I've been posting here for almost nine years. Something is always destroying the board.

I'm been trying to destroy the board with my posts since 2001 (IT'S TAKING LONGER THAN WE THOUGHT).

Originally Posted by Jodi

Props to mutantmoose for making me LOL.

Me, too. I'm surprised no one asked him if he brought pie. What is this place coming to?

[cmyk]

That was a good one, mutantmoose.

[Jack Batty]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

Well, yeah, that was me. You were one of my first Doper stalkees, I mean crushes. I missed you. I'm so glad you came back just before I took those pills... whew.

Here's the thing ... my ex-wife's name is Alice and now I'm sitting here arguing with myself over whether I hope you are her or whether I hope your are not her.



It was nice to be missed, nonetheless.

[mhendo]

mutantmoose is Brett Favre.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by Pochacco

I've been posting here for almost nine years. Something is always destroying the board.

The only way these people get on with their happy little lives is they do not know about it.

[Jragon]

In "I'm quitting" threads I always have to resist the urge to use the tired MMO Forum meme "kan i have ur stuff?" on them. There is no point, but on the other hand how much here DOES have an actual, important point? I just shrug apathetically and move on.

[Alice The Goon]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

Here's the thing ... my ex-wife's name is Alice and now I'm sitting here arguing with myself over whether I hope you are her or whether I hope your are not her.



It was nice to be missed, nonetheless.

I'm pretty sure you're not my ex-husband, what with you being funny, sensible, and likable. Plus my real name's not Alice.

[Daithi Lacha]

Originally Posted by Westrogothia

And I was gonna write this huge post on how messageboards are all about relationships and gessellschaft and gemeinschaft and negotiated identitys but... that would be admitting Id studied sociology.

I was just wondering: would it hurt badly if one gefell gedown a gemeinschaft?

[mutantmoose]

Yea but that was probably the funniest I'll ever be. That was the peak. It'll just be a sad decline from here on - painful to watch.

The other thing about a goodbye thread is that you have to hang around to read it. Would be rude to just disappear, someone might ask you a heartfelt question. It might turn into a multi-pager with various spin-off points so you might have to hang around for 2 or 3 weeks to see it out. And while you're doing that you might as well be reading other threads and commenting as necessary.

Whole thing gets messy.

[Westrogothia]

Originally Posted by Daithi Lacha

I was just wondering: would it hurt badly if one gefell gedown a gemeinschaft?

No

But landing on the bottom would.

[Mangetout]

I took an unnanounced break from the board once, and people contacted me to ask if everything was OK - I don't consider myself special or particularly deserving of such attention, but people do notice when other posters stop posting.

I think a non-flouncy "I'm taking a break, but everything is fine" message is probably just common courtesy, really.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by mutantmoose

Yea but that was probably the funniest I'll ever be. That was the peak. It'll just be a sad decline from here on - painful to watch.

This is a perfect time to run for President.

[tomndebb]

Originally Posted by CarnalK

Whenever these brouhahas flare up there is always a few people saying "You're all complaining but almost nobody is really going to leave over this" so maybe some people just want to loudly say "Well I am". That doesn't have to be interpreted as attention whoring.

No, but it is not a bad interpretation, off hand.

[Millit the Frail]

All you out there in SDMB land....

And I am telling you,
I'm not going!
You're the best board I'll eeeeee-eeev-er know!
There's no way I can ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm livin' without Cecil.
I'm not livin' without you.
I don't want to go to Fark...
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you, you're gonna love me.
Ooh, you're gonna love me.

Tear down the BBQ Pit,
Yell, scream and shout.
You can write what you want,
I'm not walkin' out.
Stop the series of tubes,
Push, strike, and kill.
I'm not gonna leave you,
There's no way I will!

And I am telling you,
I'm not going.
You're the best message boards I'll ever know.
There's no way I can ever, ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm livin' without Ed Zotti.
Oh, I'm not livin' without the SDSAB,
I'm not livin' without these Mods.
I don't wanna post at Fathom,
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you, cmyk,
You're gonna love me.
Oh, hey, you're gonna love me,
Yes, ah, ooh, ooh, love me,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, love me,
Love me, Love me, Love me, Love me.
You're gonna love........

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Apologies to Jennifers Holliday and Hudson, and to Normund Gentle.

[Quasimodem]

Originally Posted by Daithi Lacha

I was just wondering: would it hurt badly if one gefell gedown a gemeinschaft?

ROWFLAMOW!

Loved it!

Q

[elfkin477]

How to quit a message board:

step 1. Fill out this form letter:
I can't deal with the small minded posters here any more. You people, especially [insert posters, preferably ones who are better liked than you] are complete [insert not very clever words of dismissal] and think you're the smartest, most special people in the world. But you're not. You're just a bunch of [insult weight or looks] [insult intelligence] [body parts]. I've come to hate all of you except [some equally batty or insipid posters].

There was a time when I thought our ideas meshed, like when [reference some lame feel good thread where everyone agreed] but lately I've discovered that you really [insert some sort of not terribly shocking revelation, like the fact that not everyone votes the same] and I'm both surprised and hurt by that. I feel like I don't even know you people any more. [message board name] has changed, and not for the better.

So that's it. I'm not going to be posting any more, because I don't care what you [collective noun insult] think any more. I'm leaving. You all suck.

2. After you post the thread, check for responses every couple of hours.

3. Despite promising that you'll leave, respond to the responses in your I'm-leaving-this-place thread. Elaborate on why the posters suck, and why they're making you leave.

4. Check back to see if anyone has protested your renewed threats that you'll leave. Sulk if they haven't.

5. Start an unwise pit thread. Get banned.

[elmwood]

I'm reminded of this image:

http://i39.tinypic.com/2n99d82.jpg

Yeah, once I did leave a message board with some drama involved. A big farkup on my part, looking back on it; I should have just left quietly.