D and I have been together for about 7 years. We got engaged in May last year, after my romantic proposal on the couch during Australia’s Next Top Model (at least I waited until the ad break), and are at the tail end of our cohort’s marriage/baby cycle.
We must have been to 25 weddings in the last couple of years, and have really struggled to try and organise our own wedding. Sure, we have a date set, and she has lay-byed (lay-bought?) a dress, but that is about it.
In November last year, D picked me up after my works Melbourne Cup lunch. I’d had a few beers and was feeling quite happy. She told me that she thought she might be pregnant, so we picked up a test on the way home. We got a second blue line, but it was fairly faint, so in my half-pissed state, I insisted that we get another test, which confirmed the initial diagnosis. We were happy, but I must admit I was packing shit over the whole deal - we weren’t really trying, but we had stopped not trying.
The next week was pretty exciting. We had booked a holiday to Thailand for February, as D was a bridesmaid at (yet another) wedding in Koh Samui, and we decided that it was possibly too risky to travel during that stage of the pregnancy, so D explained to her friend that we couldn’t make it. It was tough, but the right decision, I think.
Later that week, D began to experience some light spotting, so following an appointment with her GP, we were booked in for an ultrasound.
There was no-one home.
A ‘blighted ovum’, we were informed by the Gyno the next day. D was shattered. It had only been a week, but we had become excited by the idea (and had told our parents and D’s sister). We decided at that point that we liked the idea of getting pregnant, and besides, it would allow us to put off our wedding plans if we were lucky enough to go again. The Gyn told us to dive right back into it, but we didn’t think that anything would happen straight away, so we quickly re-organised the Thailand trip (which we were now hanging for, to get away from things for a while).
In early Feb, D started to get some cramps in her lower right side, and also started to bleed when she shouldn’t. Following a test from her GP, we were advised that she was pregnant again. The ultrasound didn’t show anything, but the GYN said that was ok, as the cramps and bleeding had stopped and the HGC levels were doubling as normal. There was a small risk that there was an ectopic, but he felt that we were ok to go to Thailand.
We went at the end of February and had a great time. D looked great as a bridesmaid, but did it tough as she couldn’t drink, and didn’t want to tell anyone about the pregnancy too early this time.
We flew back to Australia on Tuesday, landed in Sydney at about 6.30am. We had another flight to Brisbane, but during the stopover, D started to get pretty serious cramps. We made the flight, as we had an appointment with the GYN at midday.
As soon as he saw D, the GYN did an ultrasound in his rooms and admitted her that day. She had a belly full of blood - there was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. He operated that night and removed her right tube. For good measure, there was a large cyst on her left ovary.
D is shattered. I love her so much, and she is in so much pain, physically and emotionally, and I don’t know what I can do to make this better.
Life is unfair.