Life is Unfair [Update: Good News]

D and I have been together for about 7 years. We got engaged in May last year, after my romantic proposal on the couch during Australia’s Next Top Model (at least I waited until the ad break), and are at the tail end of our cohort’s marriage/baby cycle.

We must have been to 25 weddings in the last couple of years, and have really struggled to try and organise our own wedding. Sure, we have a date set, and she has lay-byed (lay-bought?) a dress, but that is about it.

In November last year, D picked me up after my works Melbourne Cup lunch. I’d had a few beers and was feeling quite happy. She told me that she thought she might be pregnant, so we picked up a test on the way home. We got a second blue line, but it was fairly faint, so in my half-pissed state, I insisted that we get another test, which confirmed the initial diagnosis. We were happy, but I must admit I was packing shit over the whole deal - we weren’t really trying, but we had stopped not trying.

The next week was pretty exciting. We had booked a holiday to Thailand for February, as D was a bridesmaid at (yet another) wedding in Koh Samui, and we decided that it was possibly too risky to travel during that stage of the pregnancy, so D explained to her friend that we couldn’t make it. It was tough, but the right decision, I think.

Later that week, D began to experience some light spotting, so following an appointment with her GP, we were booked in for an ultrasound.

There was no-one home.

A ‘blighted ovum’, we were informed by the Gyno the next day. D was shattered. It had only been a week, but we had become excited by the idea (and had told our parents and D’s sister). We decided at that point that we liked the idea of getting pregnant, and besides, it would allow us to put off our wedding plans if we were lucky enough to go again. The Gyn told us to dive right back into it, but we didn’t think that anything would happen straight away, so we quickly re-organised the Thailand trip (which we were now hanging for, to get away from things for a while).

In early Feb, D started to get some cramps in her lower right side, and also started to bleed when she shouldn’t. Following a test from her GP, we were advised that she was pregnant again. The ultrasound didn’t show anything, but the GYN said that was ok, as the cramps and bleeding had stopped and the HGC levels were doubling as normal. There was a small risk that there was an ectopic, but he felt that we were ok to go to Thailand.

We went at the end of February and had a great time. D looked great as a bridesmaid, but did it tough as she couldn’t drink, and didn’t want to tell anyone about the pregnancy too early this time.

We flew back to Australia on Tuesday, landed in Sydney at about 6.30am. We had another flight to Brisbane, but during the stopover, D started to get pretty serious cramps. We made the flight, as we had an appointment with the GYN at midday.

As soon as he saw D, the GYN did an ultrasound in his rooms and admitted her that day. She had a belly full of blood - there was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. He operated that night and removed her right tube. For good measure, there was a large cyst on her left ovary.

D is shattered. I love her so much, and she is in so much pain, physically and emotionally, and I don’t know what I can do to make this better.

Life is unfair.

{{{Krav Manga and D}}}

So she stands to lose the left ovary too? Can they transplant the right ovary?

Wow, I’m really sorry for you both. You’ll make it through, but I agree, life isn’t fair.

That’s awful! I am so sorry.

I am sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way.

But she is alive, so there is one bright spot. Ruptured ectopic pregnancy is the leading cause of maternal mortality in the first trimester and accounts for 10 to 15 percent of all maternal deaths.

Oh I am so sorry! It is so NOT FAIR.

{{{{{Krav Manga and D}}}}}

I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you.

I’m very sorry as well. I have no idea if this will help you or not but my wife and I went through something similar. We were told we were unable to have children which, as you know, seemed so very unfair. Adopting is something that had never even entered the edges of my mind before that and it too seemed so very unfair that we wouldn’t be able to have a kid who was, for lack of better words, part of us. We adopted and now, eleven months later, I would kill and eat anyone who tried to say he wasn’t our child.

You’ve got so much on your mind right now that it’s probably overwhelming. I just wanted to tell you that there ARE options and someday, things will work out. Pain does go away.

You probably don’t want to do that. Anyone that ignorant might have a transmissible brain disease, and you could catch the stupid from eating them.

Be there for her, it’s all you can do.

Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

(And, yes, it’s incredibly unfair.)

I’m so very sorry for your news. Take what comfort you can in the fact that you and D are both still alive and will both be healthy and with each other for a long time to come.

This is a period of great trial for you and your relationship, but it can pull you together more closely than just about anything else could.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you both.

Make sure that she knows you love her - with or without the ability to bear children.

Know that there are other paths to fertility, IVF is often successful when there has been trama to the fallopian tubes.

Allow her to grieve over these two lost children, and the potential children. And grieve yourself.

Support her through the pain, don’t dismiss it, and pick up where she needs you to until she is healthy.

Acknowledge, at an appropriate time, that there are lots of ways to build families - families are just two adults, or two adults and bio kids, or two adults and adopted kids, or a mix of how kids came in, or intergenerational, or multi pet, or … This does not change your ability to be a family, although it might close doors on what sort of family that might be.

(I have one bio and one adopted, and I probably wouldn’t eat anyone who said my son wasn’t mine, or even kill them - although the look I can send out might make them wish they were dead).

I think that the Gyn managed to remove the cyst ok.

We have to see him in a couple of months to have a test on D’s left tube - some sort of ‘liquid flow test’ to see if it is viable - apparently there is a significantly reduced fertility, and a significantly reduced chance of another ectopic.

Fortunately, the doctor is one of the area’s leading specialists, and also runs a fertility clinic. He said to us that even in the worst case scenario, we have at least one functional ovary and a good uterus, which is all he needs.

I shudder every time I think about how lucky we were that this happened once we were back in Australia. I don’t want to besmirch the medical facilities in Bangkok or on Koh Samui, but I have a feeling that things would have been a lot more difficult if we had been so far from home and with a language barrier to contend with.

Thanks for all of your kind thoughts.

D wants us to get another dog, but I’m not sure if that is the best idea in the current circumstances.

Very sorry for what you’re both going through, Krav Manga. I’m glad you still have each other as you deal with it.

What a horrible time the two of you are going through.

All you can do after a complete emotional, physcological body slam like this is hold on to each other and be thankful for what you do have.

If you can both survive this together, you will be two hundred percent stronger than most of the marriages out there.

Tragedies like this can either destroy a relationship or it can be the strong foundation to the building of something much stronger than before.
An Amazon linkee.
My condolences to you both and healing thoughts to your very special D.

I am so sorry, but so relieved that they found it quickly enough and could treat her successfully. Abide with her. It takes time to not only heal from the surgery, but also the shock of it and the change of status. One day at a time. I’m glad she has you (and vice versa).

I’m frankly surprised by this, you might consider a second opinion for your future Gyn decisions. Sorry