I give Pepper Mill the first Five of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

[CalMeacham]

Romantic Fool that I am, I wanted to give Pepper Mill gifts approximating the Days of Christmas. I stopped at Five because I ran out of time, and I didn't want to repeat myself. I didn't want her to get, say, cutouts of Six Geese A'Laying followed by cutouts of Seven Swans a Swimming, and so on.



So on the First Day of Christmas

SPOILER:

Well, actually on Christmas Eve, which is when we exchange presents in my family. I bumped the days up by one.


There was a long piece of white yarm with a tag with her name on it, and the number "1". It lead to the Christmas Tree, in which she found a real pear hanging, below which was a wrapped package.



This had a computer Ink Cartridge in it.




She ate the pear for breakfast the next morning.

On the Second Day of Christmas

SPOILER:

she found a package at the breakfast table with her name on the tag, along with a numeral "2". Inside were two novels by Harry Turtledove.

On the Third Day of Christmas

SPOILER:

there was a small thin square package for her at breakfast, with her name on it and a "3". Inside was a calendar. On the cover was a photograph of four chickens. One had been crossed out, and on the others were drawn striped shirts, berets, little pencil-thin moustaches, and, dangling from their beaks, cigarettes. In the background, of course, was a crudely drawn Eiffel Tower.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas

SPOILER:

there was a box like the ones that they use for take-out Chinese Food, only colored with peppermint stripes. With, of course, her name and a "4". Inside were four plastic Macaws, each with a tint telephone set (from doll house furniture sets) glued to their heads.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas

SPOILER:

she found a small box were her name and a "5". Inside, of course, were Five Gold Rings.



Not real Gold, you understand. I ain't that rich.

[Disheavel]

Very creative, serious props. Did you run out of ideas for the other 7?

[aruvqan]

I once gave my dad the brass from my m1 in a small branch of a fruit tree that had been spray painted white and had glitter added. Yup, I gave him a cartridge in a bare tree

I also gave him the Smithsonian Jazz Collection, so he didn't go without that year

[twickster]

Wow. That's seriously creative. And romantic, in a seriously geeky sort of way. **sniff**

[Quartz]

Awww... Very sweet.

[gardentraveler]

That, sir, is several (5?) (12?) (more?) kinds of awesome!

[Oakminster]

Oh thanks a lot for posting that, Cal.

Like Christmas gifts for the ladies weren't hard enough for regular dudes already. Now, you've raised the bar to the point I may never get laid again.