I promised myself I would write every day now that I’ve been laid off. Ok, it’s not Chekov (or even Scotty).
Today’s literary production, “The 12 Barfs of Christmas”:
(inspired by “We Are the World”)
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
seven scoops of ice cream,
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
eight hard boiled eggs,
seven scoops of ice cream,
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
nine pats of butter,
eight hard boiled eggs,
seven scoops of ice cream,
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
ten cigarette butts,
nine pats of butter,
eight hard boiled eggs,
seven scoops of ice cream,
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
eleven chicken bones,
ten cigarette butts,
nine pats of butter,
eight hard boiled eggs,
seven scoops of ice cream,
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me
twelve turkey necks,
eleven chicken bones,
ten cigarette butts,
nine pats of butter,
eight hard boiled eggs,
seven scoops of ice cream,
six pints of gravy,
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,
four rabbit turds,
three fruitcakes,
two cat hairballs,
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey