On the 12th Day of Christmas, The Phantom gave to me:
12 years in Phantom
11 pyrotechnics
10,000 cast changes
9 cameras flashing
8 tone deaf dancers
7 candelabras
6,6,6 a chandelier in pieces
5 high DDDDDDDDDDDDDD’s
4 fog machines
3 pretty harmonies
2 Christines (and the understudy)
and a sweaty piece of porcelain on his face.
Only post the 12th day cause you know how the Mods are about these things.
My favorite is “The Twelve Pains of Christmas” by Bob Rivers, which I’m sure many Dopers are familiar with. Since each verse differs from the previous, I’ll post a link to the entire lyrics.
I also love Allan Sherman’s treatment of the 12 days.
“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…a Japanese transistor radio.It’s a Nakashuma. It’s the Mark 4 model - that’s the one that’s discontinued.”
And let’s not forget the 12 days of Christmas by Bob and Doug MacKenzie. “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a beer…in a tree.”
Merry Christmas, eh?
I have zero shame in admiting I truly love A Twisted Christmas by Twisted Sister. (My sister took me to see them live a couple of days before Christmas last year and they rocked many of the songs from this album as well as my old favorites.)
From their version: (A Heavy Metal Christmas)
12 Silver crosses
11 Black mascaras
10 Pairs of platforms
9 Tattered t-shirts
8 Pentagrams
7 Leather jackets
6 Cans of hairspray
5 Skull earrings
4 Quarts of Jack
3 Studded belts
2 Pairs of spandex pants
And a tattoo of Ozzy!
Janice Dickinson’s fagulous version:
twelve boyfriends begging
eleven charges pending
ten gays a-primping
nine models prancing
eight techs a-waxing
seven docs injecting
six paparazzi
five naked men
four italian suits
three former husbands
two giant breasts
and a fledgling modeling agency
I like Fay McKay’s version, as an increasingly drunk woman. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjFMBsppBVc
I came in here to mention the Allan Sherman version, but I distinctly remember the 5th day of Christmas as “A naked lady with a clock where her navel ought to be.”
My mom was an Allan Sherman devotee, and we listened to all those albums numerous times.
I readily acknowledge that my sibs and I just remembered it incorrectly.
No, the 5th day is definitely “A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be.” I have the recording on my computer and just listened to it again right after reading your post. Unless Sherman recorded a more risque version I’m not familiar with.
Council of Doom: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Black Widow: Leonard Nimoy Sings!
Tansit: Four quesadillas!
Lokar: Three reruns of “What’s Happening”.
Metallus: Two plus eight is ten.
Brak: Hi, my name is Brak!
That was genius.
Rather than give it away, I’ll just say that the last change of melody had me laughing until there were tears in my eyes.
Yeah & the guy that puts his fist in the air with the great big smile on his face. That was great. I forwarded that link to my daughter’s high school choir director. They could pull that one off next year for sure!
It makes more sense when the singers are holding sheet music.
They should use the version I saw by the US Navy Chorus. One guy was late with the sheet music, ran up the stairs to the stage, tripped, and dropped all his pages. The other guys gathered the pages, then they all proceeded singing as if the pages were put together in the wrong order and some other stuff got mixed in.
Anone who’s ever played Starcraft will appreciate this.
I really enjoy the BoyMongoose version: http://youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE
And I wrote this one last week:
The 12 Days of Christmas, D&D Style
(“Wizards” is Wizards of the Coast, publisher of Dungeons & Dragons)
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Wizards gave to me
Twelve hungry dragons
Eleven revised classes
Ten thousand new feats
Ninth-level spells
Eight-headed hydras
Seven polyhedrals
Six brand new splatbooks
Five magic rings
Fourth Edition
Three henchmen
Two purple worms
And a Dungeon Master trying to kill me
Metaphysical 12 Days of Christmas c 2010 Peter Anderson
1st… On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…. The Gift of Universal Prophecy
2nd Two Ouija Boards
3rd Three Pendulums
4th Four Tarot Decks
5th Five Pyramids
6th Six Hidden Records
7th Seven Revelations
8th Eight Mystic Symbols
9th Nine Psychic Readings
10th Ten Visitations
11th Eleven Dancing Devas
12th Twelve Healing Crystals
Zombie Christmas thread in July? Man, I love this place!
2009 Carols for a Cure had an absolute gem from the cast of Jersey Boys. from what I remember:
One the 12th day of Christmas, my pisan gave to me:
Seven fresh cannoli
Six bowls of ziti
Five golden chains*
Four Seasons singing
Three muscle shirts
Two pinkie rings
And a ride in a Lamborgini
*(“Why would you wear five at once?” “Why wouldn’t you”)
You beat me to it, eh!
And the bumper might be a Yooper, as I believe the Christmas-in-July thingy is revving up. 
A guilty pleasure: The Twelve Redneck Days of Christmas:
On the twelfth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.Here’s a cool animated video of Bob and Doug MacKenzie singing their version of the 12 Days.