So there’s a land developer from these parts named Carl Paladino. And he’s “mad as hell” and not going to take it any more. So he decided to run for governor of New York! Yeah! That’ll show 'em! And the Tea Party Express is along for the ride!
But when the light started shining on Paladino, all the cockroaches started scuttling out. You know how Grandma sends you all those glurge e-mails telling you if you don’t pray for the dying whales God will start killing newborn babies? Well, Paladino is a bit like that. Only he sends out
…and horse porn. At least it wasn’t Mr. Hands.
Ooooooh! That HAD to hurt.
Carl P. isn’t denying that he sent the e-mails, all the KKK-approved stuff, even on down to the horse porn. But let’s give the man credit here! He says that in the extremely unlikely (OK, not a hope in hell) event that he became governor, he wouldn’t do that again ever.
But hey! A little horse porn never hurt anyone, right?
My God, indeed! What’s a little horse porn between friends, huh? What’s a country coming to if you can’t laugh at N-bombs, KKK humor, and a lady getting schtupped by a horse?
Ha ha ha! In that one Obama looks like a pimp, and Mrs. Obama looks like a whore! And look at that horse, he’s hung like a…like a HORSE!
But, oh, Mr. Paladino, you eventually lost me. I’m sure you meant to send that horse porn to the proper authorities, but hit the “reply all” button. I mean the buttons are right next to each other and everything. But then you had to go and find someone to blame for it. Obviously the mirror was too far to go, so you had to go to Tea Party Plan A:
Yes, yes? A smear? FROM WHO??? Unfortunately, Paladino is barred by law from even saying the word, so let’s hear from his campaign manager:
OH NOES!!! The liberal media is smearing the righteous upstanding Tea Party again! I mean, it just happens to be true, but! Smear! SMEAR, I SAY!
In conclusion, I have two words to say to Paladino: Horse. Porn.